m&m’s

Awful Battle… There’s A Time And A Place And This Ain’t It, Honey(s)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Surprisingly, I’m not as big of a candy junkie as one might think.  Heaven knows I used to be in my high school/college years, but not so much anymore.  In those days, I ate two candy bars per day (Caramel Twix and PB Max).  But that’s neither here nor there nor hear nor their nor hair nor they’re nor hare nor Nair.

AnyWhoppers, that’s not what this post is about.  There is something awfully wrong with this M&M’s commercial.  see if you can pick it out:

If you imagined Green working a stripper pole, I WIN!  (Plus, I also lose as well as you.)  If you didn’t, then check out this awful choice of words:

In My Brain While Sleeping… M&M’s Meet Yu-Gi-Oh!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I might have had a million dollar idea In My Brain While Sleeping.  Consider this posting my poor man’s copyright. 

In this dream, I happened to be in the toy section of a department store (surprise), and on one of the end caps I saw new candy display. 

Bright blue bags of what appeared to be M&M’s filled the pegs, but they were called something different:It was a new candy/trading card-type game, like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!  Basically, it was played like so… 

  1. Kids would buy a package (or more) of em-em-oh’s!
  2. They’d face off against each other by opening their packs.
  3. Upon discovering what character they had, they would battle their friends using the different colored M&M’s found inside as points.
  4. As you lost points, you’d eat your candies.
  5. Last one with candy left wins!
  6. Each candy would have its own attribute:
  • Blue candies = amount of magic
  • Red candies = amount of life
  • Yellow candies = amount of money
  • Orange candies = amount of friend points
  • Brown candies = amount of land

The good guys would be called fren-em-em’s, while the bad guys would be called en-em-em’s. 

(Not So) Artistic Representation of the "eMnivore"

The entire concept would be a branching out against of the proconceived notions about M&M’s, much like how Bionicle expanded Lego’s brand. 

Food fight!

And they game would be replayable!  You’d send in wrappers to get actual trading cards, and there would even be chasers – those rare wrappers with exclusive characters. 

Once kids have the first series, others would follow.  When new battles were waged, players would grab random handfuls of M&M’s, so future sales would remain stable, and possibly increase. 

The only setback I see is parents of fat kids blaming em-em-oh’s! for their children’s woes. 

My response to that: at least they’re playing with their food before eating. 

DREAM INGREDIENTS: I was probably eating Reese’s Pieces before falling asleep.