In My Brain While Sleeping… A Double Dose Of Sci-Fi, Not A Bit Of Sex

I often find myself debating the big questions of the universe.  The biggest? 

Am I a nerd, a dork, or a geek?

This pair of dreams that I had in one (count ’em, one!) night might mean the answer to the overhead head-banger is:

All of the above



"Why so blue...?"

Life was going on as normal, if you consider normal being tormented by a Blue Man (not of any particular Group, it seemed).  Determined to destroy my life – and possibly murder me – this Blue Man turned up everywhere.

Work.  Home.  Bars.  Family and friends’ homes.

I couldn’t escape his attacks (unfortunately, as it is with dreams, the details are a little fuzzy).  When I finally stood my ground and confronted him, he acknowledged that I passed his test.

As it turned out, he was an Omnipotent Immortal and indeed belonged to a Group of like-hued fellows.  Their numbers were diminishing, and all the hell I had went through was like a hazing process.

Long story short, I became a Blue Man and started tormenting my friends and family with all my new found powers…


I was standing in a dim room full of floating dust, dander bouncing and dancing in the narrow beams of sunlight.

A friend turned to me and said:

The entire Star Trek universe is in this room.  Like how that entire galaxy fit in a marble in the first Men in Black film…


I'm squishing your head, I mean, universe.

 Then he corrected himself:

Well, not the Delta Quadrant.  I didn’t really like Voyager that much.


I looked closely at the soaring particles, and this is what I saw.

 INGREDIENTS: Peanut butter on a bagel back in the mix.  Yeah yeah!

In My Brain While Sleeping… A Fair Amount Of Skin, A Little Bit Of Aliens, And A Whole Lot Of Rapture

I’ve never read the book, Left Behind, nor saw the movie starring Kirk Cameron, but I currently would like to think it went something like this dream.  The references are many, so I’ll place them in parentheses to help you keep up.

Our pilots are Goofy.

Our pilots are Goofy.

While travelling back to her home in Australia aboard Mickey Mouse Airlines, the beautiful star of the hit television show Claire Voyant suddenly finds many of the passengers on her plane have disappeared.  Even the pilots!  Luckily, someone with experience playing flight simulators is present and successfully lands the aircraft.

(NOTES: The Australian actress was Carissa Walford, pictured below.  This past week she’s co-hosted G4TV’s Attack of the Show in Olivia Munn’s place, and she stole my heart, although not Olivia’s place in my heart.  Don’t fight ladies… there’s room.)

(BONUS FACT: I’ve loved Aussie accents since the days of Olivia Newton-John in Grease, so that’s two Aussie’s and two Olivia’s.)

(EXTRA REFERENCE: Claire on LOST is Australian, and the TV show in my dream shares her first name.  Weeyud.  <–Australian for Weird.)

Sugar and Spice, but not in that order

Sugar and Spice, but not in that order

Anywalfordiftheylooklikecarissa, the unnamed actress presented in my subconscious by, um, Carissa Walford, finds out that the Rapture has happened, and she’s one of those left behind (full circle).

(NOTES: The Rapture as portrayed in fiction in the Bible usually means good people are sucked up into heaven.  Here’s Wikipedia’s breakdown, a snorefest.  The Rapture as portrayed by Blondie is here.)

Basically, as it turns out, all the good people didn’t get sucked up to heaven.  It was aliens that did the sucking up, and they sucked up all the idiots to give our planet another chance.  They were big fans of Claire Voyant and decided that she should run the world.  Ever the go-getter, she obliges, and the world’s mantra becomes

The geeks shall inherit the Earth!

INGREDIENTS: Three mini-burgers and fries from Applebee’s, plus numerous pourings of brew.

Happy (Geeky) Find… Turk As Lando? Yes, Please!

On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that!  He has an even better idea for a new movie…

Via Star Wars Blog:

It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring Donald Faison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.

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BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy.  I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.