JusWondering… What Films Will Inevitably Be Remade?

Your time will come...


Hollywood loves remakes.  It also loves sequels and reboots, but it really loves remakes.  And it’s not just horror films anymore.  Footloose and Red Dawn are on the horizon.  There’s talk of remaking Dune (needs it), Short Circuit (ready for a CG robot, anyone?), and Judge Dredd (more Rob Schneider please).

What else might be coming up?

(SIDENOTE: Did this trend begin when the TV shows-turned-into-movies trend ended?)

At lunch, we discussed the inevitability of a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off remake.  Who would play Ferris?  Shia LeBeouf Zac Efron?  Zack or Cody?

To me, if they remake such a seminal 80’s film as Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, then the 90’s flick Reality Bites wouldn’t be far off.  And that leaves me tons of more questions:

  • Who would be cast in that film?
  • Would it keep the same name?  (Reality Sucks Balls anyone?)
  • Would it be about vampires?
  • Why is Janeane Garafalo so gross now?

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Ferris Bueller – I Mean, Matthew Broderick

When I think of someone who is the epitome of The Shit, my mind immediately conjures Ferris Bueller.  A friend to all, a schemer, a dreamer, and a figment of Cameron Frye’s imagination (?), Matthew Broderick brought the ultimate cool-guy to life (and paved the way as a future archetype for Parker Lewis and Zack Morris).

And in the first half of his career, Matthew Broderick was The Shit.  Need proof?

matthew_broderick_good

I don’t think anyone could argue against the fact that these are good movies.

Then this happened:

sarah_jessica_parker

Sarah Jessica Parker.  Well, it’s her or being in The Cable Guy.*  The cursed Jim Carrey vehicle came out in ’96, and the pair married in May of ’97, so the timing is a little fuzzy, but as a result, this is what followed:

matthew_broderick_bad

Now don’t get me wrong.  There were a few glimmers of hope peppered in there (independent films, such as Election and You Can Count on Me were great).  And there are some films I haven’t even mentioned.  (I never saw The Producers, so I can’t comment on its quality, but I did see Finding Amanda, and that was pointless.  Therefore, it’s a wash…)  But I’d say the best chance at redemption came through his guest appearance on 30 Rock:

 

30rock-cooter-broderick-baldwin

Dubya called him Cooter Burger. Or should I say, "dubbed him."

A good comedy series where he plays a dad that used to be The Shit à la Ferris Bueller might be a cool idea, and a career saver.  It could be called Back In My Day, or something like that.  Say, that’s a really good idea… how do you copyright a blog post?

 

ferris_bueller_laid_off

Or he could make this movie...

*It actually could have been The Road to Wellville that started the slip.  I didn’t count it because it came out the same year as The Lion King, but the film did revolve around colonics – and that’s Just Shitty.

Musical Musings… Danke Schoen, John Hughes (For The Memories)

Passed Away After 59 Candles

Passed Away After 59 Candles

An 80’s staple and a 90’s thumbtack (and a 2000’s bottle of correction fluid), filmmaker John Hughes was influential (Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow site him as such), omnipresent (he released at least two pictures a year for awhile there), and iconic (see below). 

For those that grew up with his films, the majority of his earlier works stand out in our memories mostly because of the songs associated with them.  With his passing at the age of 59, let’s synch up his celluloid hits and misses with their synonymous Billboard hits and misses.

MOVIES NAMED AFTER SONGS

MOVIES THAT HAD MEMORABLE THEME SONGS

I know there’s plenty of other tunes in his movies to choose from (such as Danke Schoen and Twist and Shout for example), but these are the most direct songs associated with these films.

Thank you, Mr. Hughes, for the fond memories.  Not so much so for the Flubbers.

(P.S. You were thisclose to being featured in one of my The Sh– To Just Sh–ty posts.  Bullet dodged, my friend.  Farewell, and well done…)

InASense, Lost… Zack Morris And I Used To Be Friends… Were To!

I had several idols growing up…

  • From the Detroit Tigers, there were Champ Summers and Lance Parrish
  • From the movies, there were Luke Skywalker and Han Solo Indiana Jones
  • And from TV, there were Alex P. Keaton, Mike Seaver, and Zack Morris

Because of my heroes from the Tigers, I’ve always felt at home in the outfield or behind home plate.  Because of Luke and Indy, I learned to stand up for what’s right, and still do, whether if it’s my friends (and the galaxy far, far away) that are in trouble or if there’s an artifact that belongs in a museum. 

But with TV – that glorious, nuturing glass nipple – I’m not sure if everything’s the same. 

I was a Conservative Republican in my youth because of Marty McFly Alex P. Keaton.  Not only was President Reagan keeping us “safe” from global nuclear disaster, Michael J. Fox’s character on Family Ties knew a thing or two about money… and what kid doesn’t like money?  Since then, I’ve become more of a political moderate, and money is not the end all I thought it once was (I can get candy and toys whenever I want, you see).

Not a mug shot... Although he's in court...

Not a mug shot... Although he's in court...

While I looked up to Mike Seaver, I never got into The Boss or harassed either of my sisters into anorexia like he did.  I’m not sure what I admired him for except for his confidence (and his MILF… and his WILF), but it sure as hell wasn’t his beliefs

When it comes to Zack Morris, it’s a little bit different, though.  We were both in high school at the same time.  He was a likable kid that couldn’t quite get the cool and pretty Kelly Kapowski.  I was going through the same thing in my mind life with a girl I had a crush on. 

But how is he different from Ferris Bueller or Parker Lewis, one might ask?  My response: he was believableZack Morris, even with his time-outs and asides, seemed like a kid you could know, and the credit for that goes to Mark-Paul Gosselaar.  That’s why whenever he gets more chances to move on in his career, I applaud him, like when he was in NYPD Blue or in Raising the Bar, or last night on…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

 

Never mind.

JusWondering… Wait-And-See Sequels Worth The Wait To See?

A bit ago, IMDb ran this poll:

imdbpoll

Grant it the survey was held with tongue planted firmly at the back of the throat (I know they say ‘cheek’ normally, but it is ‘growing’ out of your throat like a plant… this was funnier and not as gross in my head).

Anyjohnhughes, as much as I would love to see Ferris Bueller’s Laid Off, it ain’t gonna happen.  As of now, not any one of those films have a chance – nay, a whisper – of development talk.

These on the other hand, these sequels have been chatted up dearly:

Why not?  We’ve already seen these guys ride a cheetah in the wrong direction, and spoke down with W.  And everybody knows National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was the best of Chevy Chase’s screen family’s exploits.  Too bad they never made that Swiss Family Griswold that Chevy promised.  Oops… they kinda did.

  • Ghostbusters 3 (maybe to start filming this Christmas) – I am afraid of part 2:

This movie is the childhood dream behind a fourth Indiana Jones movie.  Keep fucking Lucas and Spielberg away (should be easy since they had nothing to do with the first two), and let Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky’s script have room to glow.  The duo writes for The Office; The Office can be is funny.  Thank Gozer that Atari (wait… really, Atari?) got the Ecto-1 rolling on making a new video game based on the franchise.  That probably helped accelerate enthusiasm, and something something clever about waking ghosts.

Is Oliver Stone relevant?  The antithesis to the ‘Greed is good’ mantra from the first film certainly is alive and unwell.  And Michael Douglas isn’t doing anything except Catherine Zeta-Jones.  Greed certainly is good for the studios, but this long-not-so-awaited sequel is a little more The Two Jakes, than The Color of Money (neither is much of a compliment).  Wait… Shia LaBeouf is in it?  Are you sure he’s not too busy?

I remember wanting to skip a summer baseball game to see the original.  Would I want to skip a soccer game as an adult to see the sequel?  No.  But I would go see a midnight sneak preview afterwards.  Director Robert Zemeckis – reigning king of creepy CGI work in The Polar Express, Beowulf, and the upcoming A Christmas Carol (third holiday shout out on this post) – wants to include… creepy CGI.  Could be an interesting mash-up of styles, and could make for a neat-o picture.

Some rumored projects that will most likely never see the light of the darkened theater.  Never say never…