Awesome Battle… Which VHS Acid Trip Do You Prefer?

Who am I kidding?  These are both great.  So it’s an Awesome Battle that ends in total win!

(SIDENOTE: I miss you, Everything is Terrible… I promise not stay away so long ever again!)


  • Rosemarie Lombardi when she was 36 and loving wind in her face.*
  • Rodney enjoying a time out to talk with the ladies.
  • Mike Douglas on a skateboard.
  • Elliott Gould on a swing.
  • Priscilla and John – two lovers that never found Plymouth Rock.
  • Beer enriched shampoo!
  • Leonard Nimoy with a human head (Vincent Van Gogh?) replica for some reason.
  • The late Ernest Borgnine loving stamps.
  • Sonny Bono and his Sonny Clone-o’s.
  • Bruce Jenner with his old face and an old Minolta camera.
  • A clown on the phone.
  • Hizzoner?
  • An interesting reveal by Della Reese.
*I don’t know who Rosemarie Lomobardi is either.

InASense, Lost… It’s Already Been A Dozen Years

The 1990’s.

They finished twelve years ago.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

Some of the stuff in this video happened twenty years ago:

Microchips, microwaves, faxes, airplane phones, Hammertime, monthly visitors, witches were women, Cinderella would talk deals on her cellular phone and throw her wicked step sisters into the pool, people kissed, girlfriends had girlfriends, parents discussed sex with their children – or not, you would say something cool before you hit someone in the face, unnecessary litigation…

Anybody miss the hair?



Hibbidy-Wah?! Why Didn’t These Tips Work For Me?

Self-help videos may be a thing of the past (YouTube anyone?), but they were vital to making me the me I am today.  I’m the best kisser anyone knows, and I can take down the biggest bullies just long enough to run away in a hurry.  Want to know what I know?  Check these videos out!

(I love you, Everything is Terrible!)

Awful Battle… Inappropriateness, Now With Kids!

Today’s competitors aren’t exactly on level ground.  One’s a movie trailer (wait for the fart), one’s a movie scene (watch the whole thing), and one’s a re-edited masterpiece that borders on annoying until the money shot payoff (skip to the end if you can’t wait).  The latter is by my heroes over at Everything is Terrible; the formers are all real.

(BONUS!  A re-edit of Gooby as a horror film.)


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Happy Find… A Guide To Getting Yourself Beat Up Trying To Be Cool

I want to kick everyone’s ass involved in the making of this video.  Fucking seriously.  Watch it and tell me you don’t feel the rage:

The above clip (which should have been called How To Be A Spaz!) exists courtesy of a site I’m looking forward to exploring further called Video Home System, and that’s the true Happy Find.  (Must remember to watch Show Off! anytime I need to get pumped up for a game of murderball, or actual murder… breathe… breathe…)

They share the similarly lofty goal that Everything is Terrible and Videogum, um, share:

To shed light on the unbearable world of previously produced crap, let it dry out in the sun, and hopefully grow some hallucinogenic mushrooms for consumption by all. 

(Truer words have never been spoken… by me.)

Happy Find… Behind Behind The Making Of Left Behind

I try not to pick on religion too much on this site, because I know a lot of people might see the url MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo and think, “Hey, they might have the answers I’m looking for!”  And I’d be all like, “Yes, I do.  It’s up in the Theory Sheet.”

So I’ll leave to the always wonderful Everything is Terrible to mock religion… particularly, a religious film starring none other than Kirk Cameron, Gary Busey, and the Lawnmower Man himself, Jeff Fahey (Jeff, you’ll always be The Marshal to me).  Oh yeah.  It’s about the rapture.

Some of my favorite quotes from the behind the scenes making of Left Behind:

It’s not a real movie until you blow something up!

You see a camel on sand… it says desert.

I think the success of this film really depends on a lot of people going to see it.  [Producer’s emphasis, not mine, unlike at the top of the post… that emphasis was all mine – Ed.]

Happy Find… 3-Minute Movies (Via Everything Is Terrible)

I’ve posted about my love of 5 Second Films before, but for those uninitiated, here’s a sample:

Well, on another favorite site of mine, Everything is Terrible, they’ve been perfecting their craft of the 3-Minute Movie edit, even though two of the most recent releases have fallen under 180 seconds.

From the Stephen Baldwin/Tom Berenger collaboration, Cutaway:

Brain-‘sploding intensity from Scanner Cop II:

And although this is not from EIT, it sums up Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen perfectly.  (NOTE: It feels long even though it’s one minute long.)

Happy Find… Emo Baby Huey

This is unspeakably insanely awesome.  Watch it and guess what year it was made…

Is that a giant onion in his diaper?

Is that a giant onion in his diaper?

If you guessed anything but 1999, you’re an idiot!

For a second, I thought that bridge was the same one that was in Silver Bullet (at the 2:oo minute mark), but I was wrong.  Who’s the idiot now?!

(via Everything is Great Terrible, as per usual)

Forget My Birthday – I Want A Princess Memorial Day Barbecue!

This needs to happen stat!  (Why does ‘stat’ mean ‘now?’  Does it even mean ‘now?’)  So let’s get to work and watch this video!

Somebody get sand in Ziplock bags.
Somebody wrap said sand-filled Ziplock bags in purple tissue paper.
Somebody sprinkle fairy dust on the Pretty Pink Pathway.
Where are the pink and purple and white helium balloons?  I specifically asked for pink and purple and white helium balloons!
Why does that creepy announcer dude keep laughing to himself?
I don’t care if your hands are sore from cutting out stars!  We need more stars!
What the fuck is that?  It doesn’t even look like a star!  It looks like a fucking claw!  Gah, you’re worthless!
Stop crying!  You’re giving me a headache!
Seriously, if you don’t shut up – where’s all the breakable stuff, ‘cuz I wanna break something on your head!
Peeper get back here and give me back my GD real tiara!
Is it just me, or Gwendolyn way too into letting Peeper lick icing off her finger?
Who had fairy princess music on their iPod?  Don’t tell me I put on my dancing shoes for naught!
I’ll make a fairly good wager that if ‘king dad’ got hit in the nuts holding that sliding princess piñata, he wouldn’t feel it (‘cuz he’s nutless, you see).
Hurry up baking!  I wanna eat the fuck out of that princess cake.
You want your goody bag of treasures, right?  Candy lipstick and bubbles don’t grow on trees!

(via Everything is Terrible)

Awful Battle… Sherman The Robot Or Gary Oldman As A Little Person?

I’m not sure which idea/makeup transformation is more awful:

Sherman the Robot from 1989’s Millennium (which also featured Cheryl Ladd and Kris Kristofferson, as well as the thought-provoking closing lines displayed below the video)…

This is not the end.
This is not the beginning of the end.
It is the end of the beginning.

Gary Oldman portraying Matthew McConaughey’s twin brother whom also happens to be a little person?  (Couldn’t they have given a real little person the part in the direct-to-DVD flick called Tiptoes?)

BONUS AWFUL: Did that preview really show Kate Beckinsale readying to perform fellatio on Matt?

(via Everything is Terrible and VideoGum)