JusWondering… Where Have I Seen You Before?

The beautiful Meital Dohan has entered my world seemingly out of nowhere.  I have recently been catching up on Season 2 of Showtime’s Weeds and that’s where I found her.  At least that’s where I thought I found her.

meitaldohan

***sigh***

 For my job, we use a little online service called LogMeIn, and this is the smiling face that greets me every time:

logmein

***www.sigh.com***

Could it My Sweet Meital?  It sure looks like her to me.  My friend, Aaron, doesn’t think so, but I told him how this girl I worked with at The Dive restaurant in L.A. was also on the cover of a mathematics software box at Best Buy.  He started to see the similarities after that.  Further examination:

And everybody has to get their start somewhere:

My Heart(s) All A Twitter

There’s some things that are popular that I get, and there are somethings I don’t.  Then there are some I’m afraid to look too into out of fear of never escaping.  Such a curious mind can leave you with dementied brain dents you can never straighten out (I have four – FOUR* – images burnt into my retinas that will never leave me just because I had to go poking around on the TripleDoubleU).  And then there’s always the possibility of addiction (see my Songsmith post below).

And that, dear friends, is why I avoid things like Facebook and Twitter.  This WordPress blog is consuming enough.  One of my friends, Aaron, just started a Facebook profile and he’s spiraling down the drain like a dead goldfish in a toilet.

What I decided to do was test out the concept of Twitter, which is mini-blog you maintain through out the day.  How about you better explain it, Mr. Wiki:

Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows its users to send and read other users’ updates (otherwise known as tweets), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length.

Okay, so pretty much what I said, not counting that mini vs. micro prefix.  So to illustrate how busy I am on a random day at work, allow me to present my Twitter test run.

10:35amI’m at a client cleaning spyware.  Hearts kicked my ass, but not bad enough for me to quit.  Is it bad that I quit when I’m losing?

11:27am – I answered questions after figuring out what was asked.  I held a door for a woman and she said there are still gentlemen in this world.

11:45amI was going to let a semi merge in front of me on freeway.  I used to battle truckers.  Since I’m nice now I think they look out for me.

12:02pmAt office, a minivan took its sweet time parking so I cut it off for the good spot.  So much for being a gentleman.  I had 2 pc’s to carry.

12:21pmProper restroom etiquette occurred whilst kids dropped off at pool.  Cannot linger when another is in the stall… it’s just not cool.

12:38pmHave to upgrade my copy of Quickbooks, but CD is in another pc.  Too lazy to get up.  Remoting in to share drive and install.  Win!

1:06pmAt Taco Bell (‘natch) some dude stole my cheesy double beef burritos from counter!  Was it a scam or coincidence?  I’m thinking scam.

1:39pmAt Best Buy wrestled with buying Prince of Persia for $40.  Prince of Persia won.

2:13pmMeaning to look into Drunken Recollection from last night.  Does blood thin in summer and thicken in winter?  Nurse/cousin Liz says no.

2:15pm –  Nurse/cousin Liz is right: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0CE4DE1630F935A35751C0A966958260

2:31pmDave at work asks if I’d rather see Donkey Punch (again) or Street Fighter Chun Li.  I pick Donkey Punch.

2:32pmDave then asks if I’d rather see Donkey Punch or Tyler Perry movie.  I say Family that Preys got good reviews, so that, but not Madea.

2:33pmDave then asks if I’d rather see Street Fighter or Pink Panther 2.  I say Pink Panther… barely.

2:54 pmA brand new pc’s Windows is missing so I run the restore.  While it’s restoring, I work on this entry.  I think I might like Twitter.

*Some may say “Just four?” but these four are enough for me.

So Long, And Don’t Let The Automatic Door Hit You On The Way Out!

Asta La Windows Vista, Baby!

Asta La Windows Vista, Baby!

The hell hole that stole my soul will finally be no more.  Circuit Shitty is set to close it’s remaining 567 stores by the end of March, and it’s website will shut down today.

Why do I have such disdain for the retail store?  Let me count the ways:

  1. I took the job to avenge my sister – I should have known better.  I had recently moved back from L.A. where I worked at a Best Buy.  There, they had taught me that “Circuit City” was the enemy and “working for commission” was evil.  As the DVD market was beginning to grow, I remember us laughing about the ridiculous plan CC had in motion to develop DIVX (more on this in a moment).  My sister, Tammie, had opened store #3604 back home, and she had been complaining about a manager that kept hitting on her/harrassing her.  She refused to take action so I got a job there to make sure it stopped.  It did.  That manager ended up helping me make a lot of money, so he ended up being an all right guy.  Cursed Southern salesmanship!  (NOTE: To be read as “curs-ed”… not “curst”… thanks.)
  2. It elevated my lifestyle.  When I started there in August of ’98, working in the SOHO department (Small Office Home Office), I made something like $700 my first full-commission week.  The next week, I made $1oo more, and the next – $200.  I had worked at a medical center prior to BB, and at BB, I was the Media Department’s Senior (which is a splash above regular).  This money influx was amazing.  There were days I could make my week’s pay that day.  I spent more than I saved.  And it took me a long time to break that habit, as well as another.
  3. It turned me to drinking excessively, amongst other things.  You see it in every movie: Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey, Giovanni Ribisi… they start making money and things *snap* start *snap* happening.  I had so much money I didn’t know what to do.  Couple this with the fact I worked at a nightclub Friday and Saturday nights… well, I didn’t do completely stupid things.  I just drank more than I even do now and partook in inhaling and occasionally ingesting certain types of vegetation…
  4. I had to make the sale.  No.  Matter.  What.  I never outrightly lied.  I may have slightly bent or tip-toed to the edge of what our service plans covered, but as long as I worked there, anyone that came in with a problem was taken care of by me.  Too bad I was only there for a year-and-a-half (too long).
  5. The DIVX Dupe.  For those of you only familiar with the media format, there used to be format with the same name.  The idea was you’d buy a disc for $4.50 and once you played it in your machine, you had access to it for 48 hours, after which you had the option to pay $15 more to permanently unlock it, or could “rent” it again for $3.  It put a DVD player in my house, but it was a dumb idea.  And I was forced to sell this product to every customer.  And since it was in the TV Department, all out wars broke out between SOHO and TV (because of the spiffs).  When it finally folded as a format, all the discs went on sale for a buck or two.  I bought pretty much every one.  They exist in a box in my basement and predicted my eventual DVD purchasing habit (I currently own over 1200).
  6. The CompuServe Rebate Ripoff.  For the first Christmas I worked, people had to save up to buy a home pc.  The cheapest complete system (14″ monitor, tower, printer, and of course – service plan) cost $1585.55 out the door, with something like $50-$100 in rebates.  I killed at selling this package, and it probably made me eighty-some bucks a pop.  The following August I spent backpacking in Europe and upon returning, the well had dried up.  The cheap machine boom was upon us (as was the looming Y2K fiasco), and at the center of the shitstorm laid the CompuServe rebate.  Anyone would get a $400 dollar rebate for signing a 3-year agreement to join the dial-up service at $21.95 per month, so everyone and their kitchen sink were coming in for the “FREE” pc.  Hardly any commission on that, and try to sell service plans I did – to no avail.  Where I had been swimming in cash at the end of ’98, I dove into an empty pool at the end of ’99.  I wouldn’t last many months more because in addition to making peanuts for pay (I was back down to $400 per week – the horror!), the quality of products we sold had also diminished.  This lead me to take a second job overnight at Target which brought me a great group of friends I still associate with to this day, so maybe Circuit City wasn’t that bad after all.

(I feel cleansed like this was some type of confession.  BB CCing you in hell!)

Another one buyts the dust...
Another one BUYts the dust…

In My Brain While Sleeping… Sex Dream Fail

I’m not that lucky in life when it comes to the ladies, so you’d think my subconscious would make up for it at night, right?

I was living in L.A. again, working at a super-sized version of Best Buy that felt a little more like a Costco, so maybe it was at a Costco that had a Best Buy-styled electronics department.  Anywarehouse… it was before the holidays, and I was helping a woman locate a copy of “Little Miss Sunshine.”

As I rounded the discount bins, I spotted her:

Gosh, golly, gee, she sure is purdy

Gosh, golly, gee, she sure is purdy

I made some comment that the woman I was helping was looking for one of Amanda Bynes’ movies (she wasn’t in “Little Miss Sunshine,” but see my previous posts about my failing mental functions), and she perked up and walked right up to me.  Well, she sort stumbled toward me.

She smiled that winning grin: “You’re hot.”

I was taken aback by her candor.  “Well, so are you.”

The shopper reminded me that she needed to find that DVD for a Christmas present.

Amanda stepped stumbled closer to me.  It became clear to me she was more than a little tipsy, and since she’s seems like such a sweet girl in real-life, I’ll sugar coat her speak from here on out: “I wanna fudge you.”

The woman’s jaw dropped.  Who knows what my face looked like.  She sidled up to me and slipped her arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder.  “Will you take me home?”

The woman rushed off to complain to my manager, and my manager being the awesome manager he must have been (or maybe he was a complete apple), assessed the situation and sent me home.  So I resided to the fact of driving Ms. Bynes back to her place.  As we made our way to my vehicle, she announced that her mother and brother were with her, and I’d also have to drive them.

En route to her abode, she stared at me from the passenger seat, hazy and wobbling.  Her mother and brother argued in the back seat.  Upon arriving at their apartment building, we ascended a wide spiraling staircase to find that they had no furniture – only matresses spread out all over like some heroin den.  She invited me inside.

At this point, I already began the betrayal of myself, and sought out to only get her cell phone number as she lead me to her Serta perfect sleeper.  “Yeah, I’ll have to get your number so we can hang out sometime.”

As she rested on her springed laurels, she started saying a string of numbers.

“That’s too many for a phone number.”

“I’d put good money on it that your better than Justin.”

“Justin?”

“Timberlake.  I bet you fudge better.”  (NOTE: That sounds grosser than it should.)

“How about I give you my number, and then you can call my cell and I’ll have your number.”  I fiddled with my mobile and started reciting my ten digits.

She stood up and leaned her back against the wall.  She slipped the strap off one of her shoulders revealing her right muffin.

“I should really get going.”

And I woke up.  Brain, why do you forsake me even when I’m sleeping!?

INGREDIENTS: Four tall Coors Lights and half of a three-day old cajun crust pizza.