Musical Musings… Kamikaze Karaoke (Buzzkill Songs)

"Bye bye, Miss American Pie..."

"Bye bye, Miss American Pie..."

Ever want to bring a fun night of karaoke to a stand-still?  Here are some suggestions to do exactly that (in no particular order):

Name – Goo Goo Dolls

Rumored to be about singer/songwriter Johnny Rzeznik’s childhood.  Both of his parents died when he was young, and he’s singing the song to his sisters that raised him.
BONUS DOWNER: His father was an alcoholic.  And just remember where you’re at when singing this.

The Freshmen – The Verve Pipe

Singer/songwriter Brian Vander Ark wrote this song that covers these incidents: a cancelled wedding, an abortion, and a suicide.  Only one really happened (see the next song for a hint).
BONUS RUMOR: My brother went to Western Michigan University, where this band also hailed.  Story goes they were kicked out of WMU because one of the band members raped a girl.  Party time.

Brick – Ben Folds Five

Band front man (duh) Ben Folds’ girlfriend has an abortion, and this melodic mood killer (bad choice of words?) tries to express how he felt… and succeeds.
BONUS SALT IN THE WOUND: The procedure takes place the day after Christmas.
BONUS HOT PEPPER SAUCE IN THE WOUND: They were still in high school.

Lightning Crashes – Live

Lead singer Ed Kowalczyk dedicated this song to a friend that was killed by a drunk driver.  The drunk driver was fleeing from police after committing a robbery.  The friend – she was only 19.
BONUS SILVER LINING: She donated her organs and saved the lives of others, including a 10-month-old baby.  That’s what the song is really about.  But still… bummer.

Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton

Anyone that doesn’t know the story behind this song is lucky.  Well consider yourself lucky no more.  It’s about how Eric Clapton felt after his 4-year-old son, Conor, fell out of a window — on the 53rd floor of an NYC apartment building.
BONUS “REALLY?!” He hasn’t performed this song since 2004.  His reason:

I didn’t feel the loss anymore, which is so much a part of performing those songs. I really have to connect with he feelings that were there when I wrote them. They’re kind of gone and I really don’t want them to come back, particularly. My life is different now. They probably just need a rest and maybe I’ll introduce them for a much more detached point of view.

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This final bit contains the Unholy Trilogy which have actually caused me to leave a bar.  If you have to click any because either A) you don’t know it or B) you actually like it… I hate you.

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SIDENOTE: If you feel the need to reignite any karaoke night obliterated by any of the above performances, feel free to press the button below to save the night, despite what this list might claim:

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InASense, Lost… HotMilk Lingerie

The film American Pie introduced the world to a couple of notable items:

  • Stiffler

    Guess what four-letter word he's thinking of...

    Guess what four-letter word he's thinking of...

  • Shitbreak

    Who hasn't been there on a Sunday morning?

    Who hasn't been there on a Sunday morning?

  • A horrific connection to apple pie (no image necessary)
  • And the concept of MILF’s (courtesy of Stiffler’s Mom)

That film came out eons ago, so I’m left to wonder… why does this commercial trouble me so?  (The ending kind of freaks me out.)

Now I know it’s not as horrible as a dick hole in a pie, and maybe I’m being unenlightened by thinking this, but why do things keep breaking in that video?  Is her stomach knocking up over shit?  Is she crazy?  Isn’t that dangerous to have an expectant mother in heels walking around smashed glass?

So many questions…