JusWondering… Who Would You Pay $75 To Ask One Question?

Posted on by sgottahurt

 

He's so irreverent!

Director Kevin Smith recently announced he was returning to Detroit for one of his Q&A fests, and tickets in “the good seats” are going for $75.  This increases the chance that you can actually A one Q, but is $75 worth it?  On a lucky day, you might be able to get Smith to respond to an inquiry on Twitter, and that’s free.  Besides, would I even have a question that wouldn’t be embarrassing to ask?

My wondering:

Mr. Smith, do you consider yourself a capable director?  Like, could you ever direct a high-minded, genre piece, worthy of an Academy Award nomination?  (SIDENOTE: I threw in the filler word “like” to simulate a Pulitzer Prize nomination worthy question… y’know, to like make it real.)

This got me wondering… who else would I pay $75 to ask a question?

Barack Obama, Steven Spielberg, George W. Bush, George Lucas?

Sure.  Each one of them would get a humdinger of a wringer”, but who would I pay more than $75 to get to the bottom of things?  Probably just one:

 

She's so irreverent...

My one-part quiz:

Ms. Fey, can I write for your show?  Here’s a sample of my ability, and it happened In My Brain While Sleeping…

 

*Here’s the others:

  • President Obama, do you believe in the Prime Directive?  Is that dictating your actions?
  • Mr. Spielberg, just why?  A refrigerator?  An army of monkeys?  Seriously!
  • President Bush, wanna play some Frogger?
  • Mr. Lucas… will there be Episodes VII through IX, as they could save Star Wars?  Otherwise, fuck you.

Hibbidy-Wah?! Perverted Puppets Are Fun, Especially Out Of Context

Posted on by sgottahurt

Remember in high school at the strip club, when the nuns would talk about how God makes it rain you made it rain on that stripper, and you’d get “excited” for no a very good reason?  Well this video is kinda nothing like that.

(via Found Footage Festival)

Musical Musings… It’s Almost As If These CD Covers Are Telling A Story

Posted on by sgottahurt

Just sit right back and y’all hear a tale…

"Go on... I'm listening... or should I say, play on?"

…about a woman who had a dream…

"Tis true. I did dream a dream. And I sang what I sing. Plus I ate what I eat."

…that this strange creature came from another world…

"I am here for only one thing - your entertainment. Possibly via my _____."*

…and there was this cop that was trying to stop the blue haired extra-terrestrial,
but he feared he was starting to feel… something more.

"Is it crazy to think... that I might be... in love? And also, don't I kind of look like Michael J. Fox in this picture?""

*The tale of course for adults, and therefore rated…

"Isn't it weird almost everyone has a hand or two on their face?"

Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Loser Family

Posted on by sgottahurt

To begin… these aren’t special deals.  These are suggestions I’ve hand-picked for you.  I’ve categorized them into groups for those hard-to-buy-for loved ones.  A lot of them happen to be USB products.  Go figure.  (Click each image for more information.)

FOR GRANDMA:

Grandma collects good luck trolls and loves cats, so why not get her one of these!  (Possible setback: Grandma doesn’t have a computer… hey, there’s another gift idea on the house!)

Yoda blushes when his lightsaber glows! Wait, that sounds NSFW...

Transforms your jump drive into a cat!

FOR GOTH SISTER:

She hates almost everything… except cigarettes and ironic murder!

When Texting & Driving meets Smoking & Typing...

Even unicorns hate mimes...

FOR ANNOYING KID BROTHER:

Known for liking gross things and dumb things, you can’t go wrong with these!

Saves the mess of squeezing a real frog.

This ain't your daddy's Pet Rock! It has a USB cord!

FOR PERVERTED UNCLE:

I’d suggest having these delivered to his house.

She gyrates whether or not there's any porn surfing.

I'm not here to judge. Only to provide ideas.

FOR DOUCHEBAG BROTHER AND MASSEN-GIRL SISTER:

Oh brother… oh sister…

Leave your guitar at home and play Maroon 5 songs on this shirt!

Perfect for when girls go wild!

FOR DAD:

Dad thinks he’s funny.  I mean, he maybe once was, but times change.  Time to change his towel:

FOR MOM:

Mom would like to be funny as well.  This might provide her the chance to freak everyone out.  Maybe.

FOR GRANDPA:

He’s classy.  He maybe fought in a war or two.  He married your grandma and stuck around as the above brood grew.  Get him this:

It's understated, and upside-down.

I Am Thankful For… Pink Hair

Posted on by sgottahurt

Today is the day before the big T-Day, and what better way to celebrate than by thanking the universe for pink hair.  (I was going to sing the praises of open soda fountains in fast food joints, but faint rouge follicles FTW.)

It doesn’t matter if the puce  a wig, dyed, or animated, pink is a winner.  Now presenting three solid examples:

jillwagner_jem

Also known as The Mercury Girl (click image for commercial), Jill Wagner gets the mercury rising.

natalie_portman_closer

Natalie Portman is Closer to a rapper than the singer Pink ever was (click image for proof).

Erin+Esurance

My insurance policy on how much pink hair rules (click image for more thoughts on Erin Esurance).

Not a chance this is better than pink hair (but if there happened to be Mountain Dew)...

 

I Am Thankful For… Alison Brie

Posted on by sgottahurt

There are three phases to my gratitude for the lovely Alison Brie.

1) As Trudy Campbell on Mad Men, she first caught my attention.  Playing a put-upon cuckquean, she somehow reminded me of a real-life Disney Princess that realized wishing gets you nowhere.  And oh how I wish to meet her! she was on Saturday Night Live instead of co-star January Jones!

His disregard for her feelings makes me a mad man!

2) As Annie Adderall Edison on Community, she wriggled further into public awareness in a more notable role.  And she’s also proved she’s funny.  And funny goes a lot further in the cute department, of which she’s the manager.

Will she end up with Troy, Jeff, or the entire Community?!?

3) And of course, there’s always this case study in stunning black and white…

I Am Thankful For… This Bobblehead Existing

Posted on by sgottahurt

If have never heard of Tommy Wiseau or The Room, then you’re missing out:

Watching it is like having a fever dream, only the movie makes less sense than a parasite-driven meltdown.

The fact that this has been produce and is ready for sale brings great joy to the cold cockles of my heart, and for that, I’m thankful.

I wish his hair was real.

Also thankful?

The Gang can always make room for The Room

I Am Thankful For… Otherworld

Posted on by sgottahurt

otherworld

"Hey would you like to swing on a star..." Oh no wait, that's the theme from "Out of This World"

…or should I say, “I am thankful someone else has heard of Otherworld.”  In the days since the TripleDoubleU has taken its foothold as our MRS (memory replacement system), there are few things I cannot find any mention of out there via Google. 

Unfound(dead) Item #1 – Fender Bender ring anyone’s bells? 
Unfound(dead) Item #2 – Anyone else ever hear that John Williams reversed a song he wrote to make the Star Wars theme (other than the Indiana Jones theme which is the dumbest rumor I ever heard!)?

Anydogpile, I remember Otherworld for only one thing – everyone there was primarily left-handed.  Nobody on all the other blogs I checked mentioned that.  Oh well.  It existed.  You can watch all eight episodes from the 1985 show here.  Or just watch the intro and end below.  Or do nothing but dream about turkey.  This was my Thanksgiving miracle, not yours, so I’d understand.  Jerk.

I Am Thankful For… Boston Eco Pods

Posted on by sgottahurt

I wonder if Eco Pods make good echoes...

I’m environmentally conscious.  I don’t pollute, and my biggest pet peeve is polluters.  Whether it’s plastic CD wrappers being dropped walking out of stores, fast food bags being tossed out car windows, or emptied glass bottles being left in parking lots, my blood instantly boils.  I’m not perfect in the green department, but in this regard, I mark myself an emerald shade.  (I even changed one of my friend’s littering ways.)

Not to be outdone, this is filled with marijuana plants.

So I’m always looking for ways to improve, and it appears the city of Boston is, too.  An architecture firm and science lab teamed up to produce the above…

…a vertical tower of prefabricated “eco pods” filled with bio-fuel producing algae for the space. The new tower would act as a center to test new algae species and different growing methods.  (via Inhabitat)

Even though I truly despise Boston’s sports teams (I’ve mentioned it before), I really liked Boston Legal.  And now I’m in favor of the sci-fi flavored forward-thinking that’s going on there.  Perchance the developers bring such technologies to Detroit?  We have tons of abandoned buildings.

Do you think robot arms are ticklish?

P.S. I also hold this against Boston…

Self-Titled Boston Rob: World-Titled Survivor Douche

I Am Thankful For… These Pics From Burning Man

Posted on by sgottahurt

For 23 years, the Burning Man festival has taken place in the Black Rock Desert, and since I first heard about it in an old issue of Marvel’s X-Force (it was issue #75 at the point when Cannonball, Siryn, Warpath, Sunspot, and Boom-Boom Boomer Meltdown comprised the line-up), I’ve been curious about it.  By saying I’m curious, I’ve been picked on at work.  I’m not sure why, exactly, because based on the pictures below, it looks… weird.  And I’m always thankful for that.

(The above pics and more via The Chive)