Worth 1002 Words… More Bruce Than Bruce Can Handle Edition
Die Hard-On
Some altercolorofnights:
- Mood Lighting
- Pulp Friction
- Heart’s War
- Twelve Monkeyspanks
- Arms A-Gettin’
- Dupli-Sin City
- Hudson Hawks
(via)
JusWondering… How Would iCheat?
There was a recent court case in Scotland in which a young autistic girl needed to listen to her iPod in order to concentrate on her tests. The argument against this is obvious – she could be listening to answers. But she won the case and blah, blah, blah…
This got me JusWondering that if this became common practice (and I was still in school), how would I hide notes about my geography, literature, history, algebra, science, art history, and Spanish classes?
In My Brain While Sleeping… Will And Kate… And Me
What a weird dream. Extra weird as weird dreams go. (Don’t I always say that?)
It’s not like this dream occurred anytime around their wedding either, but… ugh… I dreamed I was friends with Prince William. Apparently, I had met him years ago while on vacation in Las Vegas, and he thought I was a class act and a bloody riot, which is a good thing I guess.
We had lost touch over the years, but as his wedding to Kate Middleton approached, he started bring me around more:
Us all in England... somewhere...
It was all part of the build-up to him asking me to be his best man. He wanted me to give a speech and everything. Kate so enjoyed my company, she asked me to be her best man, too. The cropped picture from their wedding website can be viewed here, but this is the original full-sized (although still bleached-out) photo:
They really got a kick out of my full beard and Red Wings hat, so they begged me to keep it for this portrait.
Drunken Recollection… Garfield And Lil Wayne Really Like Lasagna
They also hate Mondays (but they do love themselves).
Again, this is a song that’s been out for a long time, but I only recently listened to Lil Wayne’s 6’7′ enough to hear this lyric:
Real Gs move in silence like lasagna…
I was drinking heavily at the time, so my bemusement over such a strange lyric was definitely intensified. There’s plenty of “controversy” over whether the G in lasagna really is silent, amongst other things, but I find rhyming lasagna with behind ya and kinda to be kinda lazy… another thing Garfield and Lil Wayne have in common.
(SIDENOTE: It’s only fair to admit that at least he’s not making up words to rhyme.)
What I posit to question is why not choose any of these other words with real silent G’s:
- campaign
- design
- diaphragm
- foreigner
- gnat
- gnaw
- gnome
- reign
- resign
- sign
What I propose to attempt is my own rap using the above words… *clears throat*
Imma design a campaign to send pain yo way
To gnaw at you raw till you fall like Bin Lay-
Den you can roam the globe like some gnome with no home
Foreign lands full of gnats and king’s coal and no comb
By the size of your sighs, diaphragm’s showin’ signs
Your reign will stop raining, you’re not Shaq – you resigned
I don’t know where that “anger” came from… *bows*
Oh wait, I forgot this line: Real Gs move in silence like bologna…
Happy (Sad) Finds… Maybe Memorial Day Weekend Got To Me
These songs are life affirming even though they might come across quite the opposite. One of them causes me great concern, though… am I about to turn country fan?
The first video, David Crowder Band’s SMS (Shine) was sent to me by my sister quite awhile ago, and I’ve finally opted to watch it. This was her actual pitch:
it’s a christian rock band, but the animation is cool
…now you understand my initial hesitation. But it’s definitely worth checking out…
Now if I had followed her advice earlier, I might not have felt as effected as I did this day, because I just heard this (apparently old) song on the radio, and it too captivated me:
I guess The Band Perry’s If I Die Young found new life (so to speak) when Lauren Alaina performed it on American Idol, and I might be glad about that.
Musical Musings… Best. Song. Ever? (Bonus Best Dancing Ever??)
From the incredible Birdemic: Shock and Terror…
(SIDENOTE: BTW, this is my new family anthem, which is good, since we didn’t have one. To be honest, I didn’t know we needed one until I witnessed this.)
(BONUS SIDENOTE: Birdemic II: The Resurrection 3D is in the works, and I’d be lying if I said I can’t wait.)
InASense, Lost… How Did These Slip Through The Approval Department?
First, the depths to which our society is willing to let, um, society go to will never cease to sadden me. Case in point – an item I found in a vending machine at a local Coney Island restaurant:
Even the Care Bears are See-Thru...
Second, I guess we’ve been in the sewers gutters for a while now. A magnet to mull over:
Alternate slogan: "Gimme a piece of that pie!"
In Defense Of… The Twilight Series
The best part of the Twilight series is that it’s closer to being over. Just like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the final book in the series will be split into two films, Breaking Dawn, Part 1:
They were "thisclose" to going with Breaking Wind.
And of course, Breaking Dawn, Part 2. (SIDENOTE: If this wasn’t a post In Defense Of the films, I might have added that I needed to spell that out to the fans, but it is, so I won’t.)
Anyedward, to stand up for this pop culture phenomenon, I could use writer/director Kevin Smith’s logic:
But I’m going to go with anti-logic instead. (SIDENOTE: Again, if this wasn’t a post In Defense Of the films… well, you know.)
My big defense is at least it’s not this film:
Hibbidy-Wah?! Wait, I Know That Zombie!
Having grown up filming all kinds of skits on VHS, it’s nice to finally see my brother filmed in HD.
(SIDENOTE: I believe it’s his finest acting to date*.)
*He’s the slow doorbell ringing zombie.
Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Attached Friends With No Benefit Strings
So we’ve already seen this:
Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher
And we’re about to see this:
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis
And we used to see this:
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis
And we want to see more of this:
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis
But please… never this again:
Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake
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