Michigan Population, Now + 2

Posted on by sgottahurt

Holy crapola!  I was going to write a post about Daunte Culpepper getting signed to the Lions earlier, and I’m glad I waited…

The Answer is coming to the Pistons, too!  Allen Iverson wasn’t a big fan of our former coach, Larry Brown… or practice for that matter.

We have hadn’t this many marquee players in town since the 2003-4 Red Wings roster (even though hockey doesn’t really count, right rest of America?)

I mean, the 2006 Tigers had… I give up.  The last superstar we had is a gimme – Barry Sanders. 

(SIDENOTE: My buddy, Jay was a huge Barry fan.  He would have probably given anything to meet him.  One night, in a Canadian strip club, two of my other friends ran into him at the bar, and they exchanged words.  Barry left not soon after, and walked right past Jay as he was getting a $10 table dance.  I don’t know… I find it funny.)

Well, whether this is good news or not will play out in the future, but it may pay off for me much earlier.  You see, I have plans to get personalized sports jerseys for each of the teams.  I already have my #20 Seanders Lions Jersey.  I’m waiting to make sure Curtis Granderson is a Tigers’ franchise guy before I get a #28 Grandersean jersey, because I almost got a #14 Seanahan before Brendan Shanahan was traded to the Rangers (I hope he returns to retire with us, but I always have the option of #13 Datsean – #19 Yzersean seems to be pushing it).  Prior to Iverson, my best Piston pun would have been Taysean, but that’s Prince’s first name.  Could there be a Iversean jersey?

Anyhoopsandhuddles, welcome aboard, Daunte and Allen!  Hopefully, we don’t suck your souls.

Crispin In The Sun With Toonces!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I have known a few people through the years that have done things that some people may see as odd, such as wearing leather chaps to a co-ed softball game while covered in peanut butter, or making artwork out of animal intestines. 

Okay, actually, they are odd, but some people find that off-putting.  For me, these people are the spice of life (the off-the-cuff kind of spice you’d find at CVS or Aldi’s).  They’re a modern performance artist, in my opinion, and I can say I’m not too different (see the new #7 on my Fact Sheet).  Or they’re completely batshit crazy, but who cares?

Crispin Glover may be a genius or a nutjob (the separtion between the two is a thin line, and we’re not talking cocaine here… or are we?)  Check out Screen Junkies’ list of his “9 Most Bizarre Moments.”

Here’s a sneak peek at #8:

BONUS: Toonces Without a Cause:

Where The Hell Is That Smile On Your Face, That Salty Tear Down Your Cheek, That Warm Feeling Inside Your Heart, And, Um, Matt

Posted on by sgottahurt

Almost 12,000,000 people have seen this.  Up until this past weekend, I had not.  If I can spread this onto at least one more of you, I will feel that I’ve done my good deed for the year.  Now I can drink my beer, watch my porn, and insult my friends and family without any further feelings of ill will…

All right, I never feel ill will, but it does bother me that I don’t. 

No, it doesn’t.

Where the Hell is… Matt? and where the hell is my pizza!  I ordered it an hour ago!

Watchin’ The Game… Havin’ A Bummer

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve refrained from getting into political discourse on this page because there are far better blogs on WordPress for that (such as Mudflats and Margaret and Helen for example).  But this I found via BlackSpin and I’m sure it will soon be everywhere.  Ladies and gents I present to you: The Wassup Guys from the Budweiser commercials – Eight Years Later.

For memories of better times.

Ironically, Shelley Malil (Chad, the tennis guy from this Bud commercial), fared no better in the last eight years.

Wow… this is some bummerific junx.  To clean the palette:

Happy Find… Charlie Part 2

Posted on by sgottahurt

This came out earlier this year.  I must have been lost among the fugu fish when I missed it.

See the original here.

Juxtaposition, Or Joe Jaxtapostion!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Ever go ice fishing?  Ever go ice fishing listening to this song?

(Miss you, Dad!)

A Pep Talk For TV Producer Bryan Fuller

Posted on by sgottahurt

Even though the TripleDoubleU’s a-rumbling over “Pushing Daisies” (some hint that the title may become eponymous with its fate), I say, sally forth, Bryan Fuller.  Your imagination, and our societal lack thereof, needs it.

From your beginnings, as a fan who got to write for his favorite franchise, “Star Trek,” through your development of the wonderful “Wonderfalls” and “Dead Like Me,” and the best part of the crap that “Heroes” has become (FYI… he wrote the first season’s incredible “Company Man”), I don’t feel like you’ve received your just desserts just yet.

It appears ABC’s gamble last Wednseday was good one (and funny, since the episode was about gambling).  I hope that “Pushing Daisies” can find the audience it needs to keep the Brass ordering more seasons.

And fear not if all does not go as planned (crossing fingers for new “Star Trek” show).  Look how long it took Judd Apatow to click with the mainstream.  There was “The Ben Stiller Show,” “Freaks and Geeks,” and “Undeclared” way before there was “The 40 Year Old Virgin.”

We need people like you in Hollywood (and Charlie Kaufman, and maaaaybe Zack Snyder), since the Lucas and Spielberg wells have all dried up.  Who else will do battle with the Michael Bays, Stephen Sommers, Brett Ratners, and (vomit) Friedberg/Seltzers of the world?

JusWondering… “Nobody Nose” – I Smell A Conspiracy

Posted on by sgottahurt

Little voice, big um...
Little voice, big um…

You know that cringe.  

Tennis shoes and can sing? Marry me
Tennis shoes and can sing? Marry me

That recoiling feeling when something is justnotright.  It’s minor, maybe ignorable, and perhaps even a subconscious tingling, but you still notice it.  When Sara Bareillis first hit the scene with her infectious (will-it-be-one-)hit(-wonder?), “Love Song,” I took note of her CD cover in passing at a Target.  I wondered what she looked like, but I didn’t take the further effort to investigate, um, further, like by simply flipping over the case. 

I didn’t think much about the picture at the time.  It only reminded me of how they made Alanis Morissette mysterious with quick cuts (which seem slow nowadays) in her video for “You Oughta Know.”  (It’s so Nineties it’s hilarious.)

When I finally saw the video, that’s when the cringe hit me.  Could it be?  Would they?

One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is what I’ve come to collectively call: Marketing.  It’s not just about the corporations anymore (though in this case it is).  I hate being sold to, and if you’re a poser, you’re a loser (my lame t-shirt slogan… I bet I could make a shitload off selling it to posers, though).  I try to associate myself with real people for this very reason.  In fact, I think this whole country would be a whole lot better place if people weren’t afraid to be who they really are, and if they don’t know who they are, I’d hope that they could enjoy the ride of trying to figure that out.

Anyhooptyhoo, I find Sara attractive.  I’m a sucker for the chanteuses as it is, and it makes me mad that the marketers of this world (particularly her label), may not have.  They thought she might not sell if the front and back covers were reversed.  These are my own interjections, of course, but this is the same label she directed the song at.  They wanted her to write a catchy pop love song to sell to the masses, and in response, her inner cringe produced a massive hit. 

And what prompted all this old news to get dragged up?  Not as old news that’s become new news due to any upcoming DVD release.

Why cover your costar?
Why cover your costar?
Why cover your star?
Why cover your star?

I felt the cringe when the original posters came out, and I don’t think it was just because they’re not even in the slightest least bit funny…

Minor Facts That Didn’t Make It To The Fact Sheet

Posted on by sgottahurt

FACT 1: I never stop my engine when I get gas.  Someone yelled at me the other day about it.

But my argument is that it saves me at least 38 seconds, every three days, in my hectic high paced life of writing and fixing computers and drinking.  This video is why I don’t fix my sweater when I get out of my car:

 
I really do wish it was also a lesson in how blowing on a flaming gas dispenser, or scraping it on the cement to put a fire out, is a bad idea, but we can’t have everything I guess.

FACT 2: I play soccer.  It’s indoor, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been rocked in the face by a kicked ball.

Scratch that “getting rocked” comment above.  I get pebbled compared to this guy:

 
And that’s not even that bad, in comparison to this.

FACT 3: And speaking of getting rocked, I was at one point an aspiring rock star.  (This is way before I realized my dreams playing Rock Band.)

I was perhaps a little better than this guy:


At least, I would have had the common sense not to be in a shower in my video.  If I did, then the world would know I shower in swim trunks.  I must stop doing that!

Who’s Megan Fox? Are You Kidding Me?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here’s a question, and it’s a doozy.  Could you believe someone on Planet Mother @#$%ing Earth, in this age of Instant Internet Gratification, that anyone of the us in the path of The Giant Spoon Chock Full of Mashed Pop Culture (we all wait with our mouths open), would not know who this is?

Duly named

Duly named if you cover the n

My sister, Tammie, and I carpooled today, and she dropped the bombshell about the Bombshell on me this morning.  “Who’s Megan Fox?”  I dropped some names of the movies she’s been in – “Transformers,” uh, the next “Transformers,” “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.”  It didn’t help.

Not needed, but hey...

Not needed, but hey... (also not needed: butt hay)

When I picked her up after work, she had done some homework while at work.  After scouring the TripleDoubleU, she told me that Megs reminded her of a more delicate Courtney Cox (ugh).  I did disclose that she had some cosmetic surgery, and that I wasn’t a big fan of that.  But my sister regaled in the fact she was engaged to this guy (not him, but the – oh, you’ll see):

Our other discussions weren’t as noteworthy, except for the fact that during some part of the chat I wasn’t really paying attention to, I almost threw up in my mouth when she told me she and her fiance have “mutual trust.”  (I almost gagged again.)  I don’t know why.  I think it conjures S&M or something.  Gross. 

Oh, and one last thing: the song at the beginning of the trip was Weezer’s “Troublemaker.”  The song at the end – “Troublemaker.”  Ah, modern radio.