Worth 1002 Words… South Park Costume Play Edition

Nothing Snarky

Some alternates:

  • Just Thought
  • This Was
  • Cool Enough
  • To Share

Per pconway6:


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InASense, Lost… Nostalgia’s Like An Underage Female Robot

In other words… nostalgia is pointless.  I mean, if you’re going to build a robot, why make it a little girl?  Unless it’s a weapon, I guess.

Sorry, I know the provocative title sounded like this post was going to be about something decidedly Japanese, but you’re as wrong as an underage female robot from Japan would could be.

In all actuality, it’s about the 1985 show called Small Wonder, and it’s forgotten awfulness.  I’ll let this video do the talking:

Let’s see how my fond memories of Manimal and Automan have held up:

Well, it’s like what Owens Lee Pomeroy always used to say (or at least said once)…

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson:  you find the present tense, but the past perfect!

A Handful Of… Flicks I Loathe Admitting I Like

Another day, another new category.  I’ve wanted to do a list-type post for a while now, but how many should be on it?  How about a handful?  

Today’s list isn’t composed of films I’d call guilty pleasures.  No… embarrassing pleasures might be more accurate.  These are all films I’d love to recommend, but I’m afraid of what you’d think of me.  

Let’s start with the obvious ones (for people who know me):  

  

The Notebook  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: The love story in the past is contrived, sure… boy meets girl, mom disapproves of boy, girl breaks it off, boy goes to war, girl gets engaged to another boy, boy fixes house and wins girl back.  But for me, it’s the frame story that makes the entire film work.  And the ending?  Blubbering fool = me.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: Didn’t you read what I just wrote?  

  

Bridge to Terabithia  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: I never read the children’s book it was based on so the movie’s ending shocked me.  Once again, blubbering fool = me.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: It’s based on a children’s book.  And the blubbering fool part.  

A Boy and His Dog  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: It’s weird.  The basic concept?  In the post-apocalyptic future, a boy and his telepathic dog hunt for food and women for the boy to bang.  Seriously.  It’s like a tripped out Alice in Wonderland, except not at all.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: It’s weird.  And did you see the film’s tagline?  “A rather kinky tale of survival.”  Yeah.  

  

Chronicles of Riddick  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: It tries to be exciting, inventive sci-fi.  It really does.  And to be honest, I find it more creative than Avatar.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: It’s a Vin Diesel movie.  And it doesn’t try hard enough.  Necromongers?  Underverse?  Conan the Barbarian ripoff ending?  Well, that was kind of cool.  It’s just that I usually ridicule my friend Jay for liking these type of crappy movies (Starship Troopers, Battlefield Earth, Stargate), and I can’t rip on him for this one.  Well, I do, but hypocritically.  

  

A League of Their Own  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, and it contains one of Tom Hanks sincerest performances.  Even Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell fail to annoy me.  Plus, Madonna’s This Used to Be My Playground is (arguably) a touching ballad.  And if you have siblings, how can you not relate to the story of competitive sisters?  Oh, and one more thing (I’m beginning to see a pattern here)… the ending turns me into a blubbering fool.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: Do I really need to go into it?  

  

Hostel  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: What are all good horror stories essentially about?  Their cautionary tales.  The 80’s slasher flicks prayed upon this idea like fat kids and ice cream.  What did they teach?  If you have sex – you’re gonna die.  If you do drugs – you’re die.  This film merely upped the ante in those departments, and added an international relations angle.  If you’re a boorish American in a foreign country – you’re gonna die.  Plus, this movie made me apprehensive about travelling abroad (I’ve since gotten over the fear by visiting Amsterdam and surviving being a boorish American).  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: It’s a gross (and boorish) film.  

  

Nightmare Man  

THE REASON I LIKE IT: It’s an odd mixture of the schlocky Italian giallo and the raunchy American slasher.  It really feels like two movies overlapped into one cohesive and oddly entertaining film.  

THE REASON I LOATHE ADMITTING THAT: Four words –  invisible demon rape scene.  

Not pictured: Nightmare Man... because alas, I do not own it.

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Nerd Abbreviations Edition

What came first: the soda or the code?

Ladies and gentlemen – neither of which read this blog… it is my honor and duty (I wrote on-her and doody, heh heh) to present this new category: 

So, Duh! Pop Quiz

Today’s installment is a simple one (hence the So, Duh! aspect), and nothing like the query in the above photo. 

SIDENOTE: Slurm is a soda-ish beverage in the TV show Futurama, but it also stands for Simple Linux Utility Resource Management.  The episode originally aired in 1999; the open-source manager (whatever that means) was developed in 2003.  This could be fodder for a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk?  Probably not… 

AnyWHO, the following abbreviations (or acronyms if you want to be super-nerdy about it) have no hold on the real World Health Organization.  They may have a hold on the WOW, though… 

1). Which of the following was not a TV series in this sci-fi series: 

    a) TOS
    b) TAS
    c) TPM
    d) TNG

2). Which of the following animated series from the 80’s was never a movie: 

    a) MASK
    b) TMNT
    c) BTTF
    d) MOTU

3). ROTF is to MTMTE as TROC is to : 

    a) SPAM
    b) NCIS
    c) LARP
    d) ARAH

4). ROTK is to FOTR as ROTJ is to: 

    a) ANH
    b) TPM
    c) a case could be made for either a) or b)
    d) none of the above

5). What pairs have the most in common: 

    a) BSG and BTVS
    b) SMB and LOZ 
    c) AVP and HPATCOS
    d) MMPR and SGU

 

    Linux Penguin and Slurms McKenzie chillin’…

(This quiz translated with italicized answers after the jump) Read More

In My Brain While Sleeping… M&M’s Meet Yu-Gi-Oh!

I might have had a million dollar idea In My Brain While Sleeping.  Consider this posting my poor man’s copyright. 

In this dream, I happened to be in the toy section of a department store (surprise), and on one of the end caps I saw new candy display. 

Bright blue bags of what appeared to be M&M’s filled the pegs, but they were called something different:It was a new candy/trading card-type game, like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!  Basically, it was played like so… 

  1. Kids would buy a package (or more) of em-em-oh’s!
  2. They’d face off against each other by opening their packs.
  3. Upon discovering what character they had, they would battle their friends using the different colored M&M’s found inside as points.
  4. As you lost points, you’d eat your candies.
  5. Last one with candy left wins!
  6. Each candy would have its own attribute:
  • Blue candies = amount of magic
  • Red candies = amount of life
  • Yellow candies = amount of money
  • Orange candies = amount of friend points
  • Brown candies = amount of land

The good guys would be called fren-em-em’s, while the bad guys would be called en-em-em’s

(Not So) Artistic Representation of the "eMnivore"

The entire concept would be a branching out against of the proconceived notions about M&M’s, much like how Bionicle expanded Lego’s brand. 

Food fight!

And they game would be replayable!  You’d send in wrappers to get actual trading cards, and there would even be chasers – those rare wrappers with exclusive characters. 

Once kids have the first series, others would follow.  When new battles were waged, players would grab random handfuls of M&M’s, so future sales would remain stable, and possibly increase. 

The only setback I see is parents of fat kids blaming em-em-oh’s! for their children’s woes. 

My response to that: at least they’re playing with their food before eating. 

DREAM INGREDIENTS: I was probably eating Reese’s Pieces before falling asleep.

Happy Find… Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

There’s not much more than can be said about this Happy Find than can be said by this logo:

If it doesn’t make any sense, here’s the translation: Selleck Waterfall Sandwich. And you haven’t had your fill of 80’s facial hair, beautiful flowing landscapes, and, well, meat and cheese between bread slices, here’s a tasty taste:

A submarine sandwich? How rich! (Click image if the GIF isn't working)

Feel free to think of this post as a belated Valentine’s Day present, or as a Heart Shaped Boxing Day present for our Canadian friends!

Hibbidy-Wah?! Somebody Needs A Hug (…E-Gram)

This salesman is having a vewy bad day…

What he needs is one of these!

I kind of like how the red Hug-E-Gram crosses out the one lady.  I really like how the salesman swears with reckless abandon. 

If time machines existed, I would go ahead in time one week to pick up the Hug-E-Gram I’d order today, then I’d go back 50 or so years and bring him a set of plush arms so he could record that message of love for his boss.