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In My Brain While Waking Up… Sweet Jehovah! A Demon Dog Is In My Hallway!

Posted on February 14, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m not sure exactly why I do this, but I think it had something to do with me staying up too late and not waking up for work to get money so I could stay out too late or something, but I keep my alarm clock in the bathroom.

Now the only reason I’m mentioning this is because this morning, on my stumbling walk from my bedroom to the bathroom to hit snooze (as per my snooze addiction – the only reason I set my alarm for a Saturday morning), my t-shirt scared the piss out of me.

As I bumped the doorway at an angle I usually don’t (I often bump walls and doorways because I don’t open my eyes much), I spotted the corner of my black tee from last night in the hallway and thought it was a Demon Dog from Ghostbusters. Woke me up instantly.

At 9:37am between snoozes - yes.

Although it actually got my heart racing, I still hit the snooze bar on my alarm clock and laid back down, making sure to change the location and placement of the image-inducing cotton product.

What finally fully awakened me was my doorbell. And the door knocking. And the doorbell again. Oh yeah, there it is – interior door knocking now.

It must have snowed last night, was my first thought, and the incessant attention seeking noise was my neighbor kid wanting to shovel the walk, because sure-as-shit, the area Jehovah’s just ain’t that persistent. They politely knock, stick a pamphlet in the door handle, and move along, proselytizing. And if it was anyone I knew, they would have called in tandem with the racket, and my cellular remained silent. I checked out the window, and yup – two inches of snow on the ground.

Sure I could shovel it, I thought. But it’s going to melt anyway.

Bonus Saturday morning cartoon:

Extra bonus weekday syndicated cartoon:

(via Worst Cartoons Ever)

JusWondering… Flooded Bathrooms, Head Sizes, Spasms, And Dirty Words?

Posted on February 11, 2009 by sgottahurt

Just some things I’ve been thinking about the last 24 hours:

At the bar last night, someone left a faucet running. It filled the sink and started flooding the floor. I turned it off and alerted the waitstaff. The waitress’ response, “Not again.” This made me wonder: Are we so used to automatic water faucets that we don’t remember how to use the old ones?

Now... you grab what and pump how again?

I get an occasional twitch in my left thigh where my cell phone usually hangs around. Should I change the pocket I carry my cell phone in?
I used to be pretty good at math, and I’ve always loved board games. People used to tell me I should have went into statistics, but I thought that would have been boring. Maybe I should have invented some new kind of puzzle game.
Brit pop star Lily Allen has a new CD out. Kevin Smith’s latest movie just came out on DVD. While I was at Target, I looked at the back of Lily’s CD and saw that she had a song called “Fuck You,” clear as day on the back. Yet, Zack and Miri couldn’t have Make a Porno on it. So a “Fuck You” on your back is better than a “Porno” on your front?
"What's a p****, mom?" "A p**** is a video of people fucking, honey."
This song I heard on the radio last night as I was driving home reminded me of discovering new music in my college years:
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist would have been better if Nick and Norah’s heads were in proportion to each other. I’m not sure if Michael Cera’s head is too small or Kat Dennings’ chest head is too big. (I’m thinking the prior.)
Made me not-so-afraid of NYC... I've seen too many 70's movies.

I Am Not An Addict, And I’m Not Denying It (I’m Curious, Is All)

Posted on February 9, 2009 by sgottahurt

So this is the second time today I’ve experienced the extreme need of getting to my computer. It may be an early sign of addiction, but I’m not denying it, so there!

During the drive home, on the radio, David Bowie and Queen’s Under Pressure played away, and I actually listened to the entire thing and enjoyed it thoroughly.

What’s the big deal? you might think, or I can’t believe you actually did that! or What’s the B.F.D. you addict!?

Well, here’s Part One of why I needed to get home – I used to hate that song. I despised it to the core. I don’t know if it was Vanilla Ice’sliberal borrowing of the back beat for his horrendous tune or David Bowie’s lavish oddness and his affinity for the indulgent, but it was a station changer for sure.

Part Two of why I needed my num-num (laptop) – it made me extremely happy hearing it, and I needed to know why. I don’t even know if it’s supposed to be a happy song, or what any of its lyrics are. I decided that it must have reminded me of something I liked so much that all of my past transgressions against the song faded away.

Courtesy of the wonders of the TripleDoubleU, voila! (I’m so embarrassed, btw…)

Happy Find… How To Dance: The Final Chapter

Posted on February 9, 2009 by sgottahurt

I think my brain melted over the weekend.

During my marathon of a certain horror film series that gets its reboot this Valentine’s Day weekend, I stumbled across a particular scene in The Final Chapter (not really) of Friday the 13th that I had seen once before. While working on an older post about Back to the Future’s Crispin Glover, I had played through some videos of his career and life missteps. This is one glaring example of a misstep if I ever saw one:

Musical Musings… There Could Be Worse Ear Worms

Posted on February 8, 2009 by sgottahurt

Ever hear of Carly Rae Jepsen? Ever hear her song Tug of War? Well hear ya go!

May it get stuck in your head as it has mine.

InASense, Lost… The Third Film Of A Series, Then In 3-D!

Posted on February 7, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m on a bit of a Friday the 13th bender, and I’m happy to say that the third film in the series was originally in 3-D. Which in the olden days meant random objects were held up and pointed at you… Eeeeeek! Scary!

( Man, how I already miss Don LaFontaine.)

In this film, aside from the opening credits, I was “shocked” to have the following things aimed/thrown/extended at me:

a laundry line
a TV antenna
a rat walking out on a plank
a fake looking snake leaping
a baseball bat held back by a child
a joint
a wrapped-up eyeball
a bundle of hay
a wallet
a chain through a windshield
a fist threw a car window
a yo-yo
a girl climbing a ladder
a pitchfork (its handle)
a pitchfork (its… forks)
a double dose of different pitchfork handles
a machete blade, walking by
juggling apples and oranges
a harpoon shot… (also the first time Jason wears his hockey mask)
popping popcorn
a hot fire poker
an eyeball popping out of a squeezed head (SRSLY)
a bookshelf full of books
a girl (our hero) dropping from rafters
then Jason dropping as well
finally, Jason’s chasin’ hands (<–good band name, btw)

With the reinvigorated hoopla about 3-D films, I can’t wait to see what will be thrust at me next!

Happy Find… Billy Mays Dubs

Posted on February 7, 2009 by sgottahurt

I feel like when I even write about Billy Mays, I should WRITE IN CAPS! He’s the RonCo for a new generation. As ubiquitous as he is, and as pretentious as that sounds, toilet humor has never been better than in these dubs of his commercials. I had trouble picking which ones to highlight, so I picked three and gave you a heads up what you might find in them if you’re SHORT ON TIME!

If someone decides to take a shit in the bathtub or have sex in a vase, check this one out:

If you can relate to this level of hate: “Look at this rug, I hate this rug, I’m going to ruin this rug!” Check this one out:

If when you’re outside picking up shit, you’re afraid the kids are inside stealing your food, then check this one out:

You can check out the rest at JaboOodyDubs YouTube page.

(via FilmDrunk)

Better Happy Find… Christian Bale Rant (Remix)

Posted on February 4, 2009 by sgottahurt

Christian Bale lost it on the set of Terminator Salvation. You would think it would be directed at director McG, but… it wasn’t. The Director of Photography, Shane Hurlbut, was fiddling with lights during an emotional scene (in T4… SRSLY?) and the Batman removed his cowl and bit down hard.

Thank you to the dearest Madame Librarian for bringing this light into my life:

Original rant with “explanation” here.

Is It Abby Jolie Or Angelina Elliott?

Posted on February 2, 2009 by sgottahurt

It should be abundantly clear that I’m an unmerited fan (some may say) of Abby Elliott (since she hasn’t done that much on SNL… though enough for UCB). This is her best impersonation yet (IMHO). It’s also one of the few funny things that happened on Steve Martin’s latest stint as host:

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