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A Handful Of… Not-So-Inventive Musicians

Posted on by sgottahurt

When you’re a writer of any type (INSERT TYPEWRITER JOKE HERE), your purpose is – or should be – to bring something new into this world.  I’ve sort of made it my mission to call out “artists” that liberally borrow from other “artists,” but that’s not what I’m talking about this time.  (I will be discussing it again in my next post, though.)

No this is about something else… Not-So-Inventive Musicians, namely in the naming department.  It’s one of those which came first scenarios, except this one’s about a chicken and a chicken (or if you prefer, an egg and an egg).

When I was starting my band experiment, we threw out and tossed out many names.  These are those that stuck for a time:

KAGAL (Kermit and Grover are Lovers)

Monkey Spank Monkey Do (hmm… that sounds familiar…)

oddcookie

Never at anytime did we have any song called (or involving) KAGAL, Monkey Spank Monkey Do, nor oddcookie.  With these bands, that wasn’t the case:

  • Big Country’s In a Big Country
  • Human League’s Human
  • Living in a Box’s Living in a Box
  • Snoop Dogg’s Snoop Dogg
  • Spacehog’s Spacehog
  • Talk Talk’s Talk Talk Talk
  • Meredith Brooks’ Bitch

Why won’t you return my calls?!  And Snookers was our dog, not yours!

(These of course aren’t the only ones… more can be found here and here.)

Awful Battle… Creepy Celebs Sharing Their Love

Posted on by sgottahurt

Some would argue that celebrities are people.  I say, if corporations can be people, why not the Hollywood elite.

It’s just that sometimes, when they are themselves, their real selves aren’t all that alluring…

Sometimes, their down right creepy.  Take a gander and tell me what you think?

Hibbidy-Wah?! Sibling Torture And You!

Posted on by sgottahurt

One is quick enough and to the point, while the other is a meatball sandwich-sized train wreck.  Watch them entirely for the full-effect of Hibbidy-Wah?!

So which shall I begin with…?

You lose:

Palette cleanser:

Further torture:

Happy Find… The Rocketeer As A Cartoon?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This could be the greatest thing never made (into an actual show):

The Rocketeer is one of my all-time favorite films, and following the 20th Anniversary of its release, coupled with director Joe Johnston’s success with Captain America: First Avenger, there has been talk of a long-awaited live-action sequel.

I say cartoon is the way to go.  You can still use the original Actors! (or at least close enough sounding ones), instead of recasting or rebooting the series.  (Can it be a series if there was only one?)

Could a TV show fly?  Perhaps with a little gum…

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… That Hits The Spock!

Posted on by sgottahurt

This series of posts imagine “what if I had a blog back then?”  I originally was not ever going to use YouTube videos if the post took place before the site’s inception, but– it’s my blog, so I can change my own rules.  You could presuppose that if there was a forum to blog within back in 1981, there would have been a version of YouTube… and I would have been six years old…

It reminds me of CBS' Special Presentation logo.

According to the dictionary, Magnavox translates to “great voice” in Latin.  I think it should translate into “great products.”  First, they invented home video game machines, with the Odyssey.  Then they came out with neato-peato 19-inch color TV’s.  Then they made the Odyssey 2!

I can’t wait for their newest product… the Laser Disc.  They look like shiny records, or something that Spock would have played Frisbee with on Star Trek.  That’s probably why they use Actor! Leonard Nimoy in the commercials.  Since he went off In Search Of new technologies, he probably never thought he’d be stopping at one place.  And that one place is MAGNAVOX!

If this is just a small sign of the wonders they can accomplish, they will be industry leaders for years – and decades – to come!

REFERENCES:

  • Odyssey Video Game System commercial
  • Odyssey 2 Video Game System commercial

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SCeTpWzpys&h=300&w=400]

  • 19″ TV commercials
  • Magnavision Laser Disc Player commercial
  • CBS Special Presentation shirt

This kind of reminds me of Magnavox's logo.

The Sh– To Getting Sh–ty? Keith Stone And His Smoothness Limits

Posted on by sgottahurt

Upon the first time seeing this Keystone Light beer commercial, I knew the ad campaign had found a hero to compare with Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man in the World.  He was sort of the anti-thesis; the everyman that any man could be… if he drank Keystone Light.

What followed, upped his “always smooth” quotient into undeniable levels:

(In this next one, his smoothness is legit as The Shit… at least as much as a roller rink provides room to be.)

But although this latest commercial originally made me laugh, it’s been bothering me more and more upon each repeated viewing:

I don’t mind Brian, or the fact he wears no arm protection. I even like the continued use of the cougar-growl since the rollerskating commercial. Because that’s all smooth. But the magical fire? It’s a shortcut and a means to an end, but it could be a dangerous sign of things to come.

The Most Interesting Man in the World works because it’s absurdly clever; The Man Your Man Could Smell Like works because it’s cleverly absurd.  Always Smooth Keith Stone exists somewhere in the middle, shy of too absurd.

Here’s an appearance in a Funny or Die video that doesn’t help the situation (mostly because it’s more Die than Funny):

JusWondering… Does This Revenge Flick Take Place In Ohio?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Tough and beautiful (always lead with tough) Zoe Saldana has a new movie coming out, in which she will neither be a blue cat person, nor Ashton Kutcher’s love interest, of which I see no difference.

It’s called:

They forgot to say "Vengeance is Tough." Always lead with "tough."

From the previews, it appears to be a high-octane, face-busting, car-blowing-up, Zoe-in-underwear-at-one-point good time.  And I think it takes place in Ohio.

Columbiana, Ohio, as a matter of fact.  Here’s their website.  Here’s their Twitter account.

Here’s their antique store:

Come see new old things!

Here’s their movie theater:

Come here to see the movie if we get it!

Here’s (one of) their church(es):

Come and pray this film will play at our theater!

It seems like a nice quaint place… that looks nothing at all like it does on film:

But then again, George Clooney’s movie looked nothing like Rhode Island:

Syriana's in Rhode Island, right?

Musical Musings… I Might Have Isolated The Source

Posted on by sgottahurt

Let me begin by saying:

Me thinks me loves me the 2012 Ford Focus.*

It’s a nice ride and the technology inside is pretty cool.  That having been said, courtesy of the new technology, I’ve been able to jump around on my iPod a helluva lot easier.  This lead me to a discovery I wasn’t ready for.

Ever since John Cusack highlighted my lovelorn condition in High Fidelity, I’ve wondered what the alpha song was that triggered it.  There had to be a source, and I believed I may have found it.

For those unfamiliar with the quote, here it is (don’t say I never do anything nice):

What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Drum roll please.  The answer should have been obvious all along.  Maybe it’s the desert heat I’m currently in, or the new car smell of the rental…

Introducing the potential birth of the bane of my pitiful existence…

Doing It All For My Baby by Huey Lewis and The News:

*Notice I couldn’t say “I love” even in regard to an inanimate object… Wait, is a car really an inanimate object?

The Sh– To The Bigger Sh–… Shine On, Shine On, iLuminate!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t know how long these videos will be available on YouTube, but I have to share despite the risk (comment below if they are gone and I’ll find new ones).

I don’t know much about iLuminate other than they appeared on America’s Got Talent, and my friend that introduced me to them not only claims they will win, but he will pay to go see them.

Here’s their most recent performance on AGT:

Here’s their tryout:

Here’s what I believe is their inspiration:

Musical Musings… Theory Of A Social Deadman Distortion

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here’s a definition for ya folks:

lib•er•al bor•row•ing /ˈlib(ə)rəl ˈbärō-iNG/
1. The act by which an “artist” uses another artist’s work as a part of their own (usually musicians)
2. Stealing

I’ve written about this subject for more than several occasions, and it still intrigues me how often it occurs.  What’s great about this latest discovery is it might restore some of my street cred, since usually the findings are about Katy Perry, Pink, or Avril Lavigne.

Is it just me, or does Theory of a Deadman’s Lowlife sound a shit-ton like Social Distortion’s Ball and Chain (at least it’s verses)?  Is it an homage?  Do they claim it’s a sequel?  Or is it liberal borrowing in full effect?