TV

Mental Illness As Defined By Female Characters In Superhero Films (A Drunken Recollection/JusWondering Joint)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I have a friend that, as another of my friends pointed out (who is also friends with him), suffers from Mary Jane Watson Syndrome.

“Mary Jane Watson Syndrome?” you may ask.  “That’s not in the DSM-IV.”

You’d be the wrong kind of nerd for asking that question, but it is true.  The Mary Jane Watson Syndrome, as explained by my friend (about my other friend):

He likes to make people think he’s doing better than he’s actually doing, because it’s too embarrassing.  Like in the first “Spider-Man” film, when Mary Jane runs into Peter for the first time in New York, and she tells him all the wonderful things she’s accomplished.  Then the short order chef comes out and exposes her lie…

It’s the Mary Jane Watson Syndrome.

Poignant, geeky, and spot-on, for sure.  But it got me wondering – are there other conditions that could be defined by the ladies in superhero films?  I mean, they typically aren’t written as the most stalwart of women.  Otherwise, who would be left for the hero to save if there were no damsels in distress?

(more after the jump) Read More

In My Brain While Sleeping… Russell Simmons’ New Game Show

Posted on by sgottahurt

Russell Simmons had a cast of about fifty people from all kinds of ethnic backgrounds for his new game show – “Yellow & Blue Make Green.”  We were all outside of the set, and questions were brewing amongst the potential contestants.

“Do you think green means environmental, or do you think green mean money?”

The warehouse doors opened to allow entrance.  Inside resembled a Nickelodeon show like “Double Dare.”  There were shelves containing yellow liquids and blue liquids.  Some had yellow clay and blue clay.  Yellow paint and blue paint.  Yellow pudding and blue pudding.

I was curious.  In between each of the pairs of substances existed one green colored combination of the two. 

“I’ll bet we’re supposed to compete by mixing these and whomever gets closest to that color the fastest wins.”

Russell finally greeted us all and lead us into another area of the warehouse that looked more like a store.  He picked ten people of which I was one, and sent the rest into the green room.

He said the first person to bring him a green balloon would win, but he didn’t say what they’d win.  As everyone tried to combine yellow and blue balloons, I found a green one and brought it to Russell.  He said I get to chose the fate of someone in the green room.  I asked in what way, and he said whatever I thought that meant.

I decided to let everyone play, and he said that meant everyone won!

“Money?” I asked.  He shook his head.  “Environmental awareness?”  Again he shook his head.

“Harmony,” he responded.

INGREDIENTS: eleven bottles of Miller Lite, thirty combination pizza rolls, and three spoon fulls of large curd cottage cheese… yum!

FYI… TVIsMyIV.com No Longer Flatlined!

Posted on by sgottahurt

This is a small heads up to anyone interested.  Seriously, is anyone interested?

This site’s sister site, TVismyIV, should be having more regular updates.  It’s a place where anything concerning the ol’ boob tube has a nice little home.  Check it out.  You can click the link above, or under the Blog Roll on your right.  It’s on my left, in case you were wondering. 

What?  Didn’t you know that us words are looking back at you?  Think about that the next time you’re taking care of business while staring at a pic of Megan Fox (or for the ladies – Brian Austin Green).

Hooked to the Tube Instead of You

Hooked to the Tube Instead of You

Did He Just Say James “Siberius” Kirk? Don’t They Do More Than One Take?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Vodpod videos no longer available.Seeing as how I was supposed to get to see this preview attached to “Quantum of Solace” this past weekend, and seeing as how I didn’t get to see said preview for some quantum of a reason, I present it to you here.  Y’know, in case you didn’t get to see it too.  (It’s the new “Star Trek” movie, dummy!)

more about ““, posted with vodpod

 

 

Man, I seriously wanted some James (Bond) on James (Kirk) action!  O&BTW – the flick looks beautiful. 

No, no, don’t kick me in the nards for saying that! Uumph! (keels over)

(via Buzz Cuts)

Happy Find… Abby Elliott And The Upright Citizens Brigade!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Since the video on my other post about Abby Elliott got pulled, here’s a new one.  It’s from the Upright Citizens Brigade Midnight Show (that’s the YouTube channel it’s from, ‘natch), and it also stars Steve Agee (from “The Sarah Silverman Program”) and Jeff Sloniker.  It’s safe!

In My Brain While Sleeping… Perry Como Torture

Posted on by sgottahurt

I woke up this morning with this lyric stuck in my head: “Gee, the traffic is…”

I couldn’t remember the other word.  “The traffic is delicious.”  “The traffic is ridiculous.”  “The traffic is… delicious.”  I felt like Andy Bernard in “The Office” when he could remember the end of “Break me off a piece of that-duh-duh-duh!”

So first thing I do is turn on my pc to Google search the lyric, and found that “Gee, the traffic is terrific.”  Leave it to Perry Como to be happy about it!  And no wonder I couldn’t think of it!

Anywaterunderthebridge, I also dreamt an idea for “Hard Rain 2,” which may come in handy since Christian Slater’s once again out of work.  Although, in my version, Seth Rogan was one of the guys, and I think I had Nicholson Lite’s role.  I would detail it here, but it is actually pretty cool (IMHO) so I’m holding onto it for now.  If I change my mind, you’ll be the first to know (after any person I know in real life that will pretend to listen to me, i.e. my siblings).

(Some Andy Bernard highlights after the jump… and some bonus Creed.)

Read More

Yippee Tracy Morgan! Boooo Kathie Lee!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Vodpod videos no longer available.Isn’t Kathie Lee Gifford such a scrumptious piece of heavenly delight?  Is not her sense of humor unmatched by the kings and queens and paupers of comedy?  Her comedic timing with Regis Philbin was impeccable, and often, she outshone him!  Even Tracy Morgan can’t keep up with her!  Amazing!

more about ““, posted with vodpod

 

 

(I pray that was a sufficient amount of sarcasm… I don’t have all day.)

(via Best Week Ever)

Happy Find… The Muppet Whatnot Workshop

Posted on by sgottahurt

Ever see something you didn’t know you wanted because you didn’t know it existed and then when you finally saw that it existed you knew you really wanted it?  **deepbreath**  Well, I just found something I really want that I didn’t know existed.

I can design my own Muppet Whatnot.  What’s a Whatnot, you ask?  So did I!

Apparently, a Whatnot is to the Muppets what a Redshirt is to “Star Trek” – in other words, a stock character, that’s usually lifeless in the end (‘cuz Muppets ain’t real… right?)

I don’t know to what extent the personalizations can go when there are only three body types (the samples they show are fairly unique), but starting in February, it sounds like you should be able to design the Muppet online at FAO Schwarz’s site.

SIDENOTES: I designed a “South Park” version of me.  And here’s a Redshirt Whatnot.

InASense, Lost… Vodka Tampons And Butt Beer Bongs

Posted on by sgottahurt

Chalk this one up in the category of “now I’ve seen everything.”  Necessity is the mother f-er of invention, and leave it to the people of this day and age to come up with this (or the children and kids, as the lead idiot doctor puts it):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

 

Now, aside from the fact that this may or may not be something new to the scene, one aspect of consideration remains: Stupidly, who gave these stupid doctors a show?  (<— In reference to random ethnic lady doc’s double vag comment… hilarious!  No?  Oh, well.)

One of my friends from back in the day, John, put it best.  At a Halloween party on U of M’s campus, one of our mutual friend’s roommates – who was a space aeronautics and astrophysics student, mind you – decided to streak around the block.  John’s observation: “I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a rocket scientist.”  Check and mate!

(via Best Week Ever)

Drunken Recollection… Drinking Math Sucks!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Now with more granite!

Now with more granite!

Okay… I feel like I’m at full steam again.  It’s not like I haven’t drank ten pounds of beer before, but at age 33, I might as well be drinking Quikrete.  Actually, I don’t even think it’s so much of an age thing, or an amount of food eaten thing.  It comes down to a timetable.

In Chicago – 12 lbs. beer / 8 hrs = ah, who cares… I was going to make a big math post about drinking and yada yada… Since it’s already boring me, I’ll shift gears and chat about dead people jewelry.

Did you know you can turn the ashes of a loved one (already deceased preferable) into a diamond?  How crazy is that?  I mean, I guess it make more sense than keeping an urn on the fireplace mantle, but still.

It may seem insensitive (probably because it is), but I wonder what other kinds of memorabilia could fashioned out of cremated remains:

Maybe a Japanese Zen Garden.  How about a fingerprinting kit (human carbon has to be a lot safer than asbestos).  Then there’s always an idea like Litter Critters…