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Happy Find… Micro Mike Rowe

Posted on April 26, 2010 by sgottahurt

Eye Spy

Sorry, but mentioning this Happy Find sort of feels like nepotism… like something that belongs on STFU, Parents… or like one of those situations where parents make their kids put on performances.

A reenactment:

Parent – “Show them what you can do, honey?”
Child – “I don’t wanna.”
Parent – “But everyone’s waiting…”
Parent’s Friend that’s either drunk, brutally honest, or both (usually me) – “I’m not.”

Allow me to present to you my side project:

Micro Mike Rowe

If you don’t know Mike Rowe by appearance, you most likely know his voice. Not only is he the voice of most Discovery Channel shows, he’s also the guy telling you to try a Ford.

Anywhoring, I’m having fun making the photos, and I wanted to share them with you.

Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is Barely A Spoof

Posted on April 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

I recently learned you’re not supposed to eat more than 2000 calories a day. Apparently, this is why there has been all the hoo-hah about calories for yearrrrssss…

The only reason I bring this up is to illustrate the decreasing speed of my learning curve. I already brought up a Saturday Night Live skit recently, but the mere fact that I was out of the loop (again!) is killing me!

I thought this fake commercial was inspired by the scare-tactic style of old Brinks Security commercials. I thought Broadview Security was a clever, mock name (because they view broads, you see). Check it out here:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is Barely A Spoof“, posted with vodpod

Imagine my surprise when this was revealed to me (man, AJ is an a-hole!):

For other unintentionally funny scares, click each of the names below (FYI – the above vid is entitled “The House Party”… because he was a kid looking for play, I guess):

“The Ex” – “First Date” – “Backyard” – “Treadmill” – “New Home” – “Wrong Door”

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? This Is No Longer A Coinkydink, Right?

Posted on April 20, 2010 by sgottahurt

I once drunkenly questioned the intentions of a skit on Saturday Night Live, and wondered whether the bit was spoofing the Insane Clown Posse or not.

This occurred on the last episode hosted by Ryan Phillippe, and I can’t stop laughing about it:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Then I found out about this, and I can’t stop laughing about it more:

My Drunken Recollection has been proven, right? I wish I had seen these videos in the opposite order, but oh well. Just add it to the list of magical mysteries, under blankets and magnets…

In My Brain While Sleeping… Taylor Swift Returns To SNL (And I Suggest A Skit!)

Posted on April 19, 2010 by sgottahurt

(I had this dream before I recently revisited New York. That trip will be an upcoming tale I’m sure you will care less about than this trip. You most likely don’t even care about this thing that happened In My Brain While Sleeping, and I’ve already lost you. Have I lost you? No…? I guess if I lost you before reading this, you would have no idea I even cared that you were gone. Because I do. It helps my hit counter. But I guess it counts as a hit whether you keep reading or not, so moving on…)

*Le sigh*

In this dream, singer (and now Actor!) Taylor Swift was making her second appearance on Saturday Night Live.

I was in the audience and a participant of the Try Out as a Comedy Writer Program.

I suggested a skit, and the producers ran with it.

The concept was this: Swift was trying to sell a baby on the black market to none other than Kristen Wiig (she’s like in every skit).

The lovely chanteuse messed up line the punchline about taking the baby for one million dollars, instead of selling.

Wiig’s character finally agrees, and Swift hands the baby over. But the catch is that the infant has a tail (like that one baby in India), but it’s more like a boa.

A little bit of this mixed with a little bit of that...

I ended up meeting the baby later and it could talk, à la Baby Herman from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

That catch was he had a beard, à la Chippy from Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show Great Job!

A little bit of this mixed with a little bit of that...

WTF is wrong with my subconscious?

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome Revealed!

Posted on April 17, 2010 by sgottahurt

Here it is! Your ultimate Final Foursome! (For previous rounds, start here.)

The live-action version:

Michelangelo! Eric Cartman! Ray Stantz! Peter Venkman!

The animated version:

The action figure version:

As with other sports brackets, here are the results… plus other stats!

HEAD HONCHO: Peter Venkman 21 – Stan Marsh 5
SECOND BANANA: Ray Stantz 14 – Raphael 9
ROUND OUT: Eric Cartman 13 – B.A. Baracus 11
WILD CARD: Michelangelo 12 – Toad 11

(More after the jump) Read More

Musical Musings… America’s Next Top American Idol Judge!

Posted on April 16, 2010 by sgottahurt

This idea simply popped in my head, just like how the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man did in Ray Stantz’s.

With Simon Cowell leaving American Idol to host his own version of American Idol called X-Factor, there has been a buzz around the TripleDoubleU about his replacement. I say look no further than one of Fox Network’s early birds (and The Simpsons surrogate mother), Tracey Ullman.

I thought this was funny and actually LOL'd. 4RLZ.

The reasoning?

She could take on the roll of two judges – Cowell and Ellen DeGeneres. Cowell for the British honesty; DeGeneres for the comedy.
She’s been in the music business à la Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi, and in particular – Paula Abdul.

I searched to see if any others had thought this, and yes – there was one site. But I think this needs to happy.

Or Ricky Gervais. For the very same reasons… Okay, I’d prefer Gervais, but in a pinch, Ullman will do.

He LOL'd, 2. 4RLZ.

JusWondering… Are These Titles Titillating Or Am I A Perve?

Posted on April 15, 2010 by sgottahurt

I think what follows JusWondering above is all the introduction this gallery needs…

This movie title spawned this list. Hmm, should I have put Spawn on here?

This game doesn’t take place anywhere near water.

This one was a stretch. And too long of a title.

I also JusWonder how many hits the tags below will garner…

Worth 1002 Words… If Futurama Was Real Edition

Posted on April 13, 2010 by sgottahurt

Dubai 2012

(via Unreality)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Bigger… And… Faster… Ah, Forget It

Posted on April 8, 2010 by sgottahurt

"Draw Your Own Conclusions" Edition

Jimmy Johnson is an NFL coach that demands hard work and speed on the field. When off the field, he promotes Extenze (I refuse to make the Z a capital letter).

Jimmy John’s is a sandwich shop that demands hard work and speed in the field. When in the stores, they promote hard work and speed in creating tasty sandwiches.

Here are the Urban Dictionary definitions of jimmy and johnson.

I believe there is a comedy bit in here somewhere, but I don’t feel like shuffling through the gutters of my twelve-year-old mind.

So here’s an excellent bit from the Onion. It will be doing the heavy lifting.