TV

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Time To Cash In On The Collective Unconscious

Posted on by sgottahurt

The other morning, I was waking up (as opposed to not waking up, which would be dying I guess… and digress), and I watched an infomercial for this:

The 30 Second Smile as it is known was an old idea of mine called The Teethbrush.  Well, it’s not exactly the same, but mine would be even easier/messier.  It would have been a retainer full of moving bristles on the end of a stick, and could have been even quicker than The 30 Second Smile.

(SIDENOTE: As a man who loves puns, I feel like they missed out on an opportunity.  “30 Second” sounds a lot – er, I mean, exactly like “32nd”… Grown adults have 32 teeth…  I don’t know what the punny slogan could have been.  I’m not paid to dream up their ad campaigns!)

So anytooth, this isn’t the first time my ideas have been plucked from the collective unconscious, and I think it’s time for the collective unconscious to pay!

Here’s a list of thoughts nabbed from my napping noggin in the past.

Most recently, it was in the form of an iPhone app I wished existed, and now finally does…

Does not provide directions to the actual border...

Oh, that app was out long before I wrote my post?

Time for me to start doing better research.

(SIDENOTE: I’m probably not really going to do better research.)

Awesome Battle… How Did These Slip Under My Radar?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m an adult.  I know this.  I try to remind myself of this fact every day.  I own a house.  I drink beer legally.  I have to use my arms and my legs to stand up from sitting.

So it’s fitting that at least one of the items in this Awesome Battle contains the word adult…

There is an incredible show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that no one but my friend, Chris, and I watch.

It’s entitled Delocated, and here’s a sample:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sure, I should have set up the video, but I like to throw people in the deep end, let them get their feet wet and water in their lungs, you know.  Essentially, it’s a fake reality (?) show about a family in the witness protection program, and it’s so absurd I absolutely love it.  Season 2 premieres August 22, and I can’t believe I missed it during its initial run.

This second item… I’m not too proud about my excitement.

Apparently, some time between me leaving grade school and starting high school, these toys were out in stores:

Computer Warriors?!?  Fucking robots hiding inside soccer balls, flashlights, and Pepsi cans?!?  Mattel must have been trying to capitalize on the success of M.A.S.K. (my all-time favorite toy line) and Transformers, but just a tad too late or too early.  If these would have lasted on the market, or arrived on the scene two years later when I had my first job at a toy store, I would have had them all.

But I’m an adult.  I shouldn’t try winning some of them on eBay…

…but I will.

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Detroit Tigers (And Vice Versa For The Lions?)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay… dubbing the Detroit Tigers “The Shit” might be a bit much, but the recent turn of events has not boded well – hence them becoming “Just Shitty.” But the season’s not over, and the boys of summer can turn it around any second.  Or minute.  Or day now.  Perhaps it’s just a last season slump happening way ahead of schedule, and they can come back for a big finish?  Or maybe I’m dreaming…

But what else is a sports fan supposed to do in Detroit, other than dream?  How about dream big:

*sniff*

I seriously tear up every time I watch that video…

Happy Find… Not So Pure Michigan

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve written about locally produced advertisements before, but these homegrown commercials are spot on.  Enjoy!

In case you didn’t get it, these are actually courtesy of Not So Pure Michigan… The original commercials they are spoofing can be found here.  Check out the other videos on their site.  Hopefully there will be many more!

(Thanks to Steve for finding this!)

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Simpsons Of The Futurama

Posted on by sgottahurt

To post this picture first might give away the punchline, but here we go anywiggums:

The All-New Depressing Simpsons!

I’ve dreamed in cartoon only once before (and also in comic strip), but now I’m able to add another to the short list.

Somehow, I knew this episode of The Simpsons came from five years from now, when the show would be in something like its 30th season.  Clearly out of ideas, the yellow family revamped itself in this way:

  • In the opening of the episode, it is revealed that Bart won a contest to be home plate umpire in a major league game.
  • For the last call of the game, he calls an outside pitch a strike, and the fans storm the field and trample him, in effect, killing him.
  • Upon further review of the call, it’s revealed at Bart’s wake that he was 100% correct.
  • Despondent, the Simpsons seek out and adopt a baby from Africa that looks a lot like Hermes from Futurama (even though he’s Jamaican).
  • Also, Milhouse moves into their home, since he too is riddled with grief.
  • Every joke that’s attempted throughout the episode falls flat, and a beat following every punchline, Milhouse sobs over what the show has become…

…just like all the old fans.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Orko And The Scooby-Doo Brood

Posted on by sgottahurt

A wise man once said:

Do as I say, and as I BOOM! – Michael Bay

Basically, what that translates into is if you’re lucky to find something that pleases the masses, give ’em more!

This Hollywood trick is also known as The Scooby-Doo Brood.  Almost as soon as the crime-solving canine entered the animated scene, he was a hit amongst his fans, so Hanna-Barbera thought, give ’em more!  And over the course of many, many years, Scooby was brought back and re-purposed in the forms of other family members.

He-Man and the Master of the Universe would later go on to do the same thing with kid-friendly favorite, Orko, and introduce his Trollan Scooby-Doo Brood.

Orko and Scooby-Doo

Orko is the original, just like Scooby-Doo.

Dree-Elle and Scooby-Dee

Dree-Elle is Orko’s love interest, while Scooby-Dee is… SD’s cousin?

Uncle Montork and Yabba-Doo

Well, Orko’s Uncle Montork is obviously his uncle; so Yabba-Doo is… SD’s brother?

Yuckers and Scrappy-Doo

Yuckers is Dree-Elle’s little brother, and Scrappy-Doo is SD’s nephew.  Hrm.

Snoob and Scooby-Dum

Snoob is a misguided Trollan wizard, and Scooby-Dum is just dumb.  I’m not seeing a pattern here at all…

Prankster (Wakrapanike) and Dooby-Doo

Prankster (his real name is Wakrapanike) is the only Trollan to reveal his face, and Dooby-Doo is a rare cousin of SD that has hair.  Aargh!  That’s not even close…

Doctor Zoog and Whoopsy-Doo

How about Doctor Zoog is an evil scientist, and Whoopsy-Doo is a clown…  Grrr!

Okay, well at least this counts:

The website Totally Looks Like states that Orko looks like the Black Mage from the Final Fantasy game series, but in all actuality, the Black Mage (created in 1987) looks like Orko (created in 1983)… BOOM!

And how’s this for a real-life Scrappy-Doo… DOUBLE BOOM!

(Trollan pics via Frank’s He-Man Page, everything else is from Google)

Worth 1002 Words… There’s My Chippy Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Great Job!

Some alternates:

  • Clean Shave
  • Infant Ink
  • Sh–ty Chippy
  • Tat Who?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Michael Cera’s Series Of Series

Posted on by sgottahurt

That outfit's kinda Kick-Ass...

Ever since Michael Cera’s breakout performance in Arrested Development, he’s seemed to become obsessed with series.  Because Arrested Development was a television series, you see.  Don’t believe me?  Check out these Coinkydinks (or Coinkydonks)…

Though not officially a remake, revision, or reboot (or whatever Hellywood wants to call unoriginal ideas), the main characters’ were named after the main characters in The Thin Man film series – Nick and Nora Charles.  Interestingly enough, The Thin Man films were also adapted into a TV show, but all of it was based on a single novel by pulp writer, Dashiell Hammett.

The movie is based on the first book in a series by C.D. Payne (which could be a pretty good Garbage Pail Kids name in more than a few ways).  Will there be sequels to the movie, though?  The youth revolted instead of seeing this one at the theater, so I’m going with no.

This film adaptation has yet to be released, and though I don’t think it will meet everyone’s tastes, I’m certainly looking forward to it.  Director Edgar Wright made Shaun of the Dead; he also made this flick.  ‘Nuff said.  But if there is more to be said, it relates to this overall post… the movie was based on a comic book series.

"He does seem to prefer series... and my costume!"

Hibbidy-Wah?! Olivia Was Munn-derful?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s looking like the end of an era for G4’s Attack of the Show.  The (Self-Proclaimed?) Mayor of G4, Kevin Pereira, is probably going to be losing his co-host, Olivia Munn, officially to The Daily Show.

I am of course basing this on the fact that AOTS films in LA, while TDS films in NYC… and there’s the fact of the matter that she makes a pretty good correspondent:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

My suggestion for Olivia’s replacement:

She could handle three shows, right?

The lovely and lilting Alison Brie has already charmed my heart, and when she’s been on AOTS in the past, she’s gotten along swimmingly with Kevin.

And speaking of swimming(ly), here she is in a bikini:

I wonder if I'd feel the same about Brie cheese?

Worth 1003 Words… Katy Perry WTF Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Whipped Into Shape

Oh, and by the way… this is me self-promoting another side project called I Giffed a Girl.  Hey, a sorry from me is more than you’ll ever get from Katy Perry.  Or from Shake Weights.  But not from Reddi Wip.