I regularly watch Conan on TBS mostly out of guilt for not watching him regularly on The Tonight Show before he got shit-canned from NBC. But that feeling of unease cannot compare to the stomach flip I feel when someone disses Andy Richter, like comedian Nick Thune did during this appearance on the show (it happens at about the 5:30 mark):
What’s wrong with the world? Why can’t people just be polite?! It takes minimum time and provides maximum comfort. If people could only rectify their wrongs– wait, Nick Thune did what?
I recently saw this commercial, and it gave me pause…
“Is this the new record scratch?” I wondered.
This meaning suddenly hit by bus.
So I started thinking about where this trend began, and I think I can link it back to The Hit that I think is The Shit.
THE SHIT MEET JOE BLACK (1998)
Sure, it’s not a bus, but it was shocking – and eventually entertaining? Most of all, it was first.
THE PINCHLINE MEAN GIRLS (2004) HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (2008) GHOST TOWN (2008)
These accidents are used for comedic effect. What the fuck is wrong with us America? (See the Ghost Town clip in the montage below.)
THE PLOP DEVICE
STRANGER THAN FICTION (2006) LOST (2007)
Dramatic tension is high, and these scenes drive the plot, so… why couldn’t the Will Ferrell hit been less real and more ha-ha?
THE FART NOISE (IT’S SO OBVIOUS) FINAL DESTINATION (2000)
“Woh-woh…” *wet trombone fart noise*
THE TURD VERSION OF THE PLOP DEVICE FELICITY (1999) NIP/TUCK (2006)
These really aren’t that interesting, so check out the montage below.
JUST SHITTY BUBBLE BOY (2001)
Hey look! Zack Galifianakis! Just don’t look at the rest of it.
PHANTOM POOPERS CONTAGION (2011) DEXTER (2012)
These are too new to be found anywhere, butt they’d probably fall under PLOP DEVICE since one had a contagious kid get smashed and the other had a serial killer get smashed. I’ll let you guess which one each belonged to.
MONTAGES (there has to be a pun in there somewhere…)
This 42″ tall playset gets a definite YES! from me.
There are plenty of geeky things to get to today. So let’s start with the big one.
YES! J.J. Abramshas been confirmed as the director of Star Wars Episode VII. Be ready for fanboy battles to reach all new levels. Can the director of Star Trek pull off the switch? Considering he was raised suckling the hairy teat of George Lucas, I wouldn’t worry. Plus, this might pave the way for Joss Whedon directing Episode VIII. (No logic for that statement… only hope and speculation.) The only downside – a Damon Lindelof rewrite of Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt’s finished script. Fuck you, LOST!
NO! Two of my favorite newer shows are getting cancelled!Ben and Kate and Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 have officially received the ax. Hopefully they receive a DVD release – I don’t think I’m ax-ing for much. At least they’re in good company. Some of my highest recommendations lasted only one or two seasons – Wonderfalls, Pushing Daisies, Freaks & Geeks, Action, Profit, Undeclared, Jericho, and Firefly. (Veronica Mars, Deadwood, and Arrested Development got three.) P.S. I’m still waiting for my Sons and Daughters and Warren the Ape DVD’s!
YES!
Two cool video games I’ll buy and never play: LEGO Marvel Super Heroes and Pokémon X and/or Y!
NO! OR MAYBE YES? Django Unchained toys came out, and that’s a baaaaaad idea. A good idea would have been buying them, though. They’re selling for upwards of $500 each (though I’m not sure what they started out at, I’m sure they were under $50). An entire set went for $6000 on eBay! Why are my feelings so conflicted right now?!
In honor of You, Me, and Dupree being quite ubiquitous this weekend on some cable channel that was on whenever I woke up (yes, it happens more than twice in two days), here is Owen Wilson’s Dupree explaining (well, not really explaining) Seven Different Kinds of Smoke:
But here it is in action:
You’re welcome.
(SIDENOTE: I don’t know what this movie is about, since I’ve never seen anything but these parts. But as for these parts – they’re pure Dupree gold.)
(BONUS SIDENOTE: This is probably a good time to mention that I have my own Advice Sheet at the top of the page. It’s full of monkeyBLOGmonkeyDO gold, which despite how that phrasing sounds, may or may not equal poo.)
If you’re unfamiliar with the almost award-winning fourth-most-popular folk duo in New Zealand, Flight of the Conchords, then shame on you. Or should I say lucky you because then here’s your first taste:
Here are the lyrics if you want to print them and sing (?) along:
So, you’re leaving, aren’t you?
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That’s when I definitely knew
But if you’re trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don’t’ turn back to me
Don’t turn around and see if I’m crying
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
It’s just been raining on my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my face
Please don’t tell my mates
I’m not crying
No, I’m not crying
And if I am crying
It’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking of a friend of mine who you don’t know who is dying
That’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions
I’m making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I’m not crying
No
There’s just a little bit of dust in my eye
That’s from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I’m not weeping because you won’t be here to hold my hand
For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
I’m not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They’ve been searching around
They’re like searching for you
They’ve been looking around
Even though I told them not to
These aren’t tears of sadness
They’re tears of joy
I’m just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
Sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
I’m not cry-y-y-y-
-y-y-y-y-ing
And here’s the original for comparison, I guess. Even though there’s no comparing…
Don’t ask me how it happened, but I watched the ending of Howie Mandel’s new game show, Take It All. (And Michael Bublé’s Home for the Holidays. No excuses for that either. Actually, Elmo was going to be on it, and I wondered if there were going to be any tasteless puns. I got to hand it to them – there weren’t.)
Anyhowie, the end of Take It All was a hell of a lot (and by hell of a lot, I mean exactly) like an old Game Show Network, um, game show called Friend or Foe? (hosted by the MTV VJ that vocalized keeping her the V-card, Kennedy).
Nothing like a new game show for the holidays.
Essentially, at the game’s end, both players much choose between A or B. For Take It All, A equaled “Keep Mine” and B equaled “Take It All,” and on Friend or Foe?, A equaled “Friend” and B equaled… I can’t recall. If both people choose A, both people win. If both people choose B, both people lose. If only one chooses A, they win everything.
So apparently, NBC is running with this Take It All mentality with some upcoming shows.
A girl infiltrates a group pretending to be someone else to get revenge… I mean deceive them. Why? Because rich people are assholes.
Even better, NBC is ripping off their own failed projects, because Do No HarmDone seems a lot like Awake. Did they just have a bunch of leftover scripts? (And art department files?)
Each one is about a guy is living two lives. One splits a twelve-hour shift between his dual lives; the other splits waking and sleeping hours. Which for a pothead is twelve hours each. Neither of these is about a pothead.
This was going to be Worth 1002 Words, but I forgot I had one waiting. You’ll see that tomorrow. Instead, I’m upset I can’t embed videos unless they’re of a certain kind on WordPress anymore. But like the title of the post says…
Air Robinson
(SIDENOTE: You see, because that’s Craig Robinson of Hot Tub Time Machine and The Office, and he’s dun— oh, never mind. Watch the video by clicking here. There are more stars than you can shake a stick at. What’s that, you say? You can shake a stick at seventeen stars? Well then there’s as many stars as you specifically can shake a stick at.)
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 