While The Monkey’s Been Away… AKA monkeyHEARmonkeyDO

Hey! How could I have not thought about this before now, but in the past year, I’ve been working on another project – The Film School Janitors Review Films!

We have plenty of NSFW podcasts about some of the last years biggest (and some of their not so biggest…) films. Check them out on iTunes, SoundCloud, or Stitcher! Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook!

Or watch this video my cousin made a few years back (it won an award or something):

The Ultimate Saturday Night Live Movie!

Not to be confused with "Married... With Children: The Movie"

Not to be confused with “Married… With Children: The Movie”

They’ve been trying to make The Saturday Night Live Movie since 1990, and I think I’ve cracked it (in film speak – I’ve broke it).  Here’s the pitch:

Film Title: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVES

Opening Scene: It’s 1:01am on Sunday, just after an episode of SNL has finished taping.  Everyone is congratulating each other and the guests on a great show.

Seth Meyers stands off on the side, alone, ignored.  In this reality, Seth Meyers is the character he plays for Weekend Update – his real name (in the film) is Geth Pliers.  Current cast members pass by Geth as he tries to make a joke (“We’re only live on Saturday Night for a half hour.  We should change it to Some Saturday Night and Some Sunday Morning Live.”), but no one interacts with him.

He retires to his office (which is stall in a restroom) and is happy to find that he’s finally received a response from a woman named Standra Dee Light (Cecily Strong) on a dating website.  He takes to the hallways in excitement and runs into Bobby Moynihan and Kenan Thompson on their way to the after-party.  They tell Geth that she’s probably a fake and that he’s getting catfished.  Geth plans to meet Standra that night at an apartment party anyway.

The Setup: Meanwhile, on the top of buildings across the city, cell phone towers begin exploding, and inter-dimensional beings called Vitargs emerge through a portal.  The first few through immediately discover they’re repulsed by our gravity and fly up into the air.  The next wave realizes they must grab things on the roof to stay grounded.  They then embark upon entering the buildings through the rooftop entrances.  Once inside, they suck out the souls of the rich people in the people in the penthouses, and then they are able to use our gravity.  (Insert jokes about rich people having souls and eating the rich.)

The Main Story: It’s a cameo-laden comedy in the guise of a disaster/invasion movie spoof (think: Cloverfield).  As Geth takes to the streets to find the one person with which he’s made a connection, he must navigate the crowds of people freaking out because: 1)there’s an alien invasion and 2) there’s no cell phone reception!  (Not necessarily in that order, either.)

He finds help in the form of Weekend Update guests like Stefon (Bill Hader) and his Drunk Uncle (Bobby Moynihan).  Stefon leads him through the underground club scene which features actual Internet Trolls and  literal Catfish behind computers (and maybe Coneheads).

In the end, Standra is indeed whom she claimed to be (The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation with at a Party), and Geth finds true love, the respect of his coworkers, and true friends, all while saving the day.

In a post credit sequence, we learn where Greg (Bill Hader) came from prior to co-hosting Game Time with Dave and Greg:

Greg was a Vitarg!

Greg was a Vitarg!

Recognize Anybody In This Old Commercial?

Oh, you don’t?  I thought she was… and he was… oh, never mind.

This Has To Be A Recipe For Disaster

I would have sworn that Amazon was not new to the TripleDoubleU, but apparently hiding in their warehouses, there isn’t a single pervert to be found.

Scratch that. That’s exactly where they’re to be found.

It’s the head honchos and the hardware and software developers that didn’t think this Mayday Button through:

Haven’t they ever heard (even a whisper) of ChatRoulette? Those poor workers at Kindle support are in for a surprise. But then again, maybe pervs don’t own Kindles. Hopefully that doesn’t turn out to mean:

NOT OWNING KINDLE = PERVERT

Because then I’d need to go buy a Kindle. But if I bought a Kindle now, after having this idea, I’d look like a perv. Maybe I’ll just FaceTime a stranger for their openis– er, opinion!

Was This Genius Or Was I That Drunk?

Last night was the first time I ever watched Fox’s ADHD (Animation Domination High Definition, I think).  This was the opening:

I was blown away.  It was succinct.  It captured the week’s pop culture highlights.  Including a potential SPOILER.

But I was extremely drunk.  My Detroit Tigers had almost completed a post-season no-hitter against the Boston Red Sox, which was also a 1-0 victory.  I honestly had to have had almost (if not exactly) ten Blue Moons.

So is this brilliant?  Click each day for the relating link:

Let me know what you think in the comments.  I’ll be at the bar.

#BeenThereDoneThatAlready, Subway!

Well that didn’t take long.

The so-called-artists of Subway apparently don’t exist in their advertising department.

Take a look at their latest commercial:

Why am I up in #arms, you ask?  Jimmy Fallon (and Justin Timberlake) already took a crack at this last month:

But what should I expect from a place that makes sandwiches?

Happy Find! This Is My New Favorite Thing(s)!

Good ol’ WordPress won’t let me embed non-traditional videos anymore, so you’ll have to click on the pictures to head to Conan’s show’s page, but to me – they’re worth it!

Who has time to go to the beach? He does!

Who has time to go to the beach? He does!

The Nappiest Place on Earth!

The Nappiest Place on Earth!

Hibbidy-Wah?! Can This Be (Pause Like Chandler) Anymore Outdated?!

1992 doesn’t sound that long ago (unless you were born in or after that year of course), but this anti-piracy ad certainly dates the date:

Speaking of outdated, check out this meeting of the old and the new.  The ending before the ending is pretty good, and of course, so is the middle.  If you’ve never heard Leonard Nimoy singing the original version of the song he’s singing (no spoiler), then click here.  Otherwise, enjoy:

The Silver Lining… Let’s Laugh With Kmart Instead Of At Them

Is this commercial on TV?  I haven’t seen it.  But then again, I do time shift the ship out of my shows.

So could this mark a renaissance for Kmart?  Probably not.  But if we’re in store for a slew of new comedic ads, just maybe they’ll find more of us in store.

But probably not.

Worth 1,000,002 Words… I’m Speechless

SIDENOTE: For reference…

BONUS SIDENOTE: Too bad William Shatner is Canadian, otherwise SHATNER 2016!