Music

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Internet Meme Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

How did stuff like this get around without the TripleDoubleU?

For this round, how about covering recent TripleDoubleU memes?  Shall we?

1) This cat’s name is Bento.  What’s the name of the original Keyboard Cat?

    a) Pepto
    b) Furby
    c) Pepsi
    d) Fatso

2) The original lyrics for this song are:

    a) Fatsososo
    b) Trololo
    c) Tralala
    d) Doodoodoo

3) Why do I love this mashup so much?

    a) Jabba the Hutt (non-CGI) is inherently funny
    b) Parks and Recreation’s theme song is catchy
    c) All the above
    d) Eh, I’ve seen better

4) Who owns this song?

    a) Ram Jam
    b) Epic Beard Man
    c) Tyrone
    d) Amber Lamp

5) What process has been applied to this photo?

    a) PolizziShop
    b) SnookiShop
    c) PhotoShop
    d) RafikiShop (please click)

Answers after the jump

Musical Musings… Better Lady Than Never

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hey Ladies!

This shit is bananas!  B-A-N-A-N-A-S!  Or at least it’s P-L-A-N-T-A-I-N-S!

From my understanding (which translates to “I just learned this”), Lady Antebellum has been a part of the music scene since 2007, but I’ve only recently heard about the group courtesy of their simple and catchy crossover hit, Need You Now.  The group is composed of Charles Kelley, Dave Haywood, and Hillary Scott (pictured above), which makes the trio’s name no less strange.  It’s two guys and one lady.  And antebellum means pre-war so no further help there.

Like Lady Sovereign before them and Lady Gaga after them, perhaps their moniker was inspired by…

BONUS MUSICAL MUSING: I’ve intended to gripe about this for a while now, but I kept forgetting to.  It’s more shit that is plantains, and I didn’t hear any mention of it anywhere else.  Why was Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl (I’m not linking the video for spite) such a huge deal when Jill Sobule sang about the same thing back in 1995, when it was still sort of taboo?  Nowadays, it’s kind of slutty.

SIDENOTE: I’m not saying I want it to stop.

BONUS NON-MUSICAL MUSING: Cougars grow up to become cat women.

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Hip Hop Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

"Makes your booty pop (and lock)!"

This one will not be as difficult as my last So, Duh! Pop Quiz (or as nerdy).  Well, maybe it’s still (white and) nerdy.

1) I don’t know what they want from me, but from you, I want to know what mo money often brings you?

    a) mo toys
    b) mo taxes
    c) mo family and friends coming out of the woodwork
    d) mo problems

2) Complete this analogy… H : IZZO :: V : ?

    a) AGINA
    b) IZZAY
    c) VENDETTA
    d) VISITORS

3) Unscramble these performers names:

4) Who’s going back to Cali?

    a) LL Cool J
    b) The Notorious B.I.G.
    c) both a) and b)
    d) George Lucas

5) Which of the following ingredients LEAST help one feel laid back while thinking about money?

    a) indo
    b) Seagrams
    c) Tanqueray
    d) juice

Imma let you finish this quiz… after the jump… Read More

Drunken Recollection… DrunkWonderings

Posted on by sgottahurt

While boozing with my fellow booze hounds not to long ago, a few wonderings popped in my head.  These are them (is that proper English or proper drunk-speak?):

1) As a child, I was a fan of the wrong film series.

"I've made a huge mistake."

For most of my life, it’s been Star Wars all the way for me, baby.  And as an (alleged) adult, I’ve paid for it dearly, both figuratively and literally.

  • Figuratively… in the sense that James Bond would have fostered my inner Lothario, as opposed to Luke Skywalker inspiring my inner whiny “hero.”  (Granted, I could have looked to Han Solo, but he didn’t have a lightsaber and couldn’t use the Force.)
  • Literally… in the sense that I spent way too much fucking money on toys in a bid to recapture my lost youth.

On the other hand, if I had idolized Agent 007, I might have lived a life of danger (both in and out of the bedroom), but definitely his love of gadgetry would one day complement mine.

2) I should have picked different friends.

"Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?"

Some of my friends I’ve known since I was four years old.  And at times I’m left to wonder, what does a kid know?  I already mentioned that I chose to make Luke Skywalker my hero and not James Bond when I was a young ‘un.  The incident that triggered this thought:

  • A friend-that-shall-go-unnamed-(though-he-knows-who-he-is) ran around Hooters getting the entire staff to sign the calendar he purchased for his toddler son.  Although one girl was clever (and inappropriate).  She wrote:

May your dreams be wet, and your diapers stay dry.  (Or something like that.)

  • To be honest, it was the gayest heterosexual thing I’ve ever witnessed.

3) Why does twelve seem like it’s a plural form of twelf, like how it is with pants and pant?

4) If going “number one” and “number two” means what they mean, what would going “number three” on up represent?

BONUS SOBER WONDERING, WHICH I GUESS SHOULD BE A JusWondering:

Why can’t I stop watching this video?

Here’s the shortened version for a maximized quick hit:

Musical Musings… So Wait, What’s Better? Being 2 Or 1?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sugar and Spices, not in that order

When bouncing between radio stations like I do, the mind wanders along with the melodies.  Sometimes the music is anthemic; sometimes it’s depressing.  At other times, it’s flat-out confusing.

For instance, Taylor Swift (and Boys Like Girls) have a new(er) song out called Two is Better Than One (click on highlighted song titles to watch the videos).  In this song, they say that, duh, being two is better than one.

And here I thought couples were supposed to become a singular entity?  At least that’s what the Spice Girls taught me with their song 2 Become 1 (shouldn’t it be “2 B3cm 1“?)

Singer/songwriter/crooked teeth-haver Jewel stated the same thing with her 2 B3cm 1, I mean, 2 Become 1.

U2 proclaimed that Two Hearts Beat as One, and they’re not alone in that sentiment.  Long ago, Stacey Q agreed that Two of Hearts should beat as one, and Phil Collins even crooned that Two Hearts are best when they’re believing in just one, um, mind.

What about when there are more than two hearts?  Ask Feist and Plain White T’s about 1234?

Village People 2K10

SIDENOTE: Weezer might agree with Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift because they sing I Want You Two… oh, it’s I Want You To.  Well, then what about in their ditty Can’t Stop Partying?

In that tune, Lil Wayne (ugh) makes an appearance and auto-tune (ugh) raps:

Party like tomorrow is my funeral
Gotta stop mixing alcohol with pharmaceuticals
And the unusual is the fucking usual
Man, my life is beautiful and my girls are mutual

The key word there is mutual.  What does he mean by saying that?

The definition of mutual is this:

  1. (a.) Reciprocally acting or related; reciprocally receiving and giving; reciprocally given and received; reciprocal; interchanged; as, a mutual love, advantage, assistance, aversion, etc.
  2. (a.) Possessed, experienced, or done by two or more persons or things at the same time; common; joint; as, mutual happiness; a mutual effort.

So see?  Weezer via Lil Wayne agree that two is better than one.

finis

Hibbidy-Wah?! The Limit Of Pointlessness, Which Is Either Redundant Or An Oxymoron

Posted on by sgottahurt

This video leaves me equally speechless and wishing for a friend… one that would travel down the road and back again and kick this guy in the nuts for freaking me the fuck out!

BTW, where’s Sophia?

To think, I was going to post this video and leave it at that:

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… We Are The World

Posted on by sgottahurt

Just like (almost*) all remakes, We Are the World doesn’t even hold a candle to the original.  The thrill of all those superstars getting together for a great cause was unprecedented… at least for 1985.  No one seemed to be involved for the face time or the advancement of their careers because they already had plenty of face time and stable careers.

Soloists from the 1985 version (known as USA for Africa):

Not one of them (not even Kim Carnes, who had previously won two Grammy’s for Bette Davis Eyes) was an obscure artist.  Sure, chorus had its odd inclusions (Dan Aykroyd and Bette Midler par exemple), but the overall tone of the arrangement felt sincere.  Especially since Madonna wasn’t any part of it.

LINGERING QUESTION: Why didn’t Smokey Robinson get a solo part?

Now before ripping, um, getting into the new Artists for Haiti version, I must give pause to ponder: are my feelings based in nostalgia (which is like an underage female robot), or in actual taste?  Has the concept of this type of project been tainted by the likes of Voices that Care, I’m Fucking Ben Affleck, 30 Rock’s Kidney Now, and Huey Lewis’ I Am the World (videos below)?  Or am I simply jaded?

Without further ado, ugh, We Are the World 25 for Haiti (skip to the 1:12 mark to get around the egomaniac that is Jamie Foxx):

Could you make it through the entire thing?  You’re a brave soul indeed.  Now I can’t really fault or knock the intentions or the cause, but here are some things that I can knock:

  • Who the fuck is Justin Baby Bieber and why the fuck is he taking Lionel Richie’s spot?  Oh, he’s a YouTube star?  My bad.  (*wanking motion*)
  • A Pussycat Doll?  Srsly?
  • Academy Award-winning, non-American Idol-winning Jennifer Hudson can sing.  That’s for sure, but compared to the grouping above (save poor Kim Carnes), is she that big of a star?  (I was being figurative, no pun intended… even though I love puns.)
  • Even though I didn’t know who Jennifer Nettles was, I found out she’s from Sugarland.  I know think they’re a popular country band, so she earns her Kenny Rogers card.
  • The next stretch I can approve of: Tony Bennett, Janet Jackson, and Barbra Streisand. My only problem (besides the reused MJ footage) is it feels like foot-stomping.  (Foot-stomping = “Wah!  I didn’t get my turn!”)
  • Josh Groban and Mary J. Blige are welcome parties, but their presence (see what I did there?) reminded me of their comedy appearances below.
  • Fuck Miley Cyrus.  I don’t mean literally, of course.  Because she’s underage (and maybe a robot).
  • Enrique Iglesias has been around awhile, has family credentials, and brings a Latin flair, so okay.
  • Jamie Foxx simply leaves a bad taste in my mouth, er, ears, or whatever with his Ray Charles impression, so fuck him.
  • Another deserved stretch: Wyclef Jean, Adam Levine (of Maroon 5), Pink, BeBe Winans, Usher, Celine Dion, Fergie, and Toni Braxton, with passes for Mary Mary (gospel singers) and Isaac Slade (of The Fray).

This is when it turns Just Shitty:

In closing:

  • Why is the Pussycat Doll shown so much?
  • Why weren’t these artists given solos over some of the others: Gladys Knight, Natalie Cole, Faith Evans, or Rob Thomas (amongst others in the chorus)?
  • Srsly, why is the Pussycat Doll shown so much?
  • Why did Paul Haggis have to direct this?  And why couldn’t he get the core soloists together like in the original?
  • What is Wyclef saying at the end of the song?  Unity?  Piety?  R.U.T.?
  • And I just can’t shake the feeling that all these people have the same agent…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

*Dawn of the Dead and The Hills Have Eyes were decent remakes.

Musical Musings… Sir Charles = Saint Nick, At Least According To Taco Bell

Posted on by sgottahurt

Immediately upon hearing the song in this commercial, I liked it:

It’s infectious, it’s about my favorite fast food joint, and it’s… Christmas-y?

The jingling in the background of the “rap” sounds like this to me:

Musical Musings… When Did I Stop Caring?

Posted on by sgottahurt

In the early 90’s, I had my musical awakening, if you will.  My tastes might not meet the standards of most high-brow music snobs, but those years should be celebrated merely for opening my eyes ears.

Here were some bands that I quickly attached to, and somehow just as easily detached from.  Was it a demise in the quality of their music?  Did they grow beyond me?  Did I grow beyond them?  Or did I simply stop caring?

In My Brain While Sleeping… Fictional Character’s Children Don’t Share

Posted on by sgottahurt

30 Rock, oh 30 Rock, how much do I love thee?  Apparently enough to dream about you on more than one occasion.

Or at least this guy:

Tracy Morgan and Tracy Jordan

In this particular brain drain, I was spending Christmas with the Jordan family.  I had bought Tracy Jr. a guitar, and I couldn’t wait for him to open it up so I could play it.

Once dinner was finished, he opened it and I helped put the guitar together (because for some reason, assembly was required).

Somebody 30 Rocked this guitar.

Once I tuned the six-stringer, I readied to strum.  But he wouldn’t let me.  Even after I reminded him that I bought it for him, and that I put it together, he still shook his head, arms outreached.

I handed it over, sort of peeved, and woke up.

DREAM INGREDIENTS: A late night helping of pizza sticks… and an episode of 30 Rock.