InASense, Lost… Garfield Hates Mondays, And Veterans Apparently

Whoo, boy… you’re going to have to sit down for this one because itza doozy, lemme tell you.

Garfield creator Jim Davis recently apologized for this:

 

Talk about "Wooof" (see the last post)

 

I mean, it’s not only an affront to this nation’s veterans (you read the linked article above, right?)*, but it’s also terribly…

…not funny.

Seriously, why the fuck is this shit still being produced and published?  I’d have to harken back to a time in my youth when I looooved Garfield, but even now, I’m hard-pressed to recall if I ever thought the strip was humorous.

I think my reason for liking him stems from the fact that he was the first character I taught myself how to draw, or it’s simply because I had limited options outside of Peanuts, Blondie, and Cathy.  (This time frame falls well before the genius that was Calvin & Hobbes, and his pissed-off merchandising rip-offs.  And come to think of it, at this time in my life, I did enjoy ABC’s TGIF lineup.)

In closing, this atrocity needs to meet its end, and if he’s lucky… maybe we’ll celebrate a National Stupid Day in his honor.

*It was published on Veteran’s Day.

JusWondering And InASense, Lost… Could This Actually Taste Good, And F— You Up?

I sure loves me some chocolate milk.  It is pure delight, especially with Oreos and Chips Ahoy!

I also sure loves me some booze.  It is pure delight with Taco Bell and pizza!

But can the two work together?  This company sure thinks so…

Introducing Adult Chocolate Milk!

What do they mean re-taste?! I still drink chocolate milk!

With a 20% alcohol content, it better leave you feeling dairy effed up.  Too bad it’s only available in Arizona, California, and Minnesota currently, and it’s super expensive to ship.  Because I could really go for some booze and cookies…

InASense, Lost… My Sensibilities Are Waning

The older things get, the more faded they become.  Take these two instances as examples of my fading mindset.

  • I thought this was funny.

Apparently, there’s a company named this:

Getrag is an automotive supplier that makes transmissions.  I never heard of them prior to driving past one of their plants, and I found their name to be humorous in a juvenile way, but if you asked me to explain why, my answer would be fuzzy at best.

  • I thought this was creepy.

This all might have happened on the same day, but one of these pulled up behind me, and I thought it looked evil:

 

Hyundai Santa Fe

 

It’s not like I had seen one before (maybe I haven’t), but the design is intimidating.  At least it was in person.

Man, was I off my game that day… or just hung over…

InASense, Lost… This UFO Stuff Is Really Starting To Get To Me

It’s one thing when rednecks and daytime talk shows are talking about the true existence of aliens (or my drunk friends after witnessing strange lights over the ocean at night while on a cruise), but it’s a whole ‘nother thing when Stephen Hawkingthe Vaticanhigh-ranking government officials, U.S. Air Force missile silo operators, and China are chatting it up.

And then there’s this:

I know I’ve mentioned my top three fears on this site before, but I would like to officially add a fourth.

4) Aliens

InASense, Lost… Buffy, The Jedi Master?

This. Almost. Happened:

 

"There is no try, only do me."

 

Good old George Lucas originally wanted to name Yoda… well, I let io9 fill you in (from their list of “10 Things You Didn’t Know About The Empire Strikes Back):

Yoda was originally named Buffy. No, really. In George Lucas’ earliest outlines for the sequel, Luke meets a supernatural entity named Buffy, or Bunden Debannen. Here’s how Lucas described it:

Buffy very old — three or four thousand years. Kiber crystal in sword? Buffy shows Luke? Buffy the guardian. ‘Feel not think.'”

And Lucas concludes by saying Luke will become the chosen one, “the human Buffy.” In later drafts, he thought of Yoda as a kind of small frog, and Yoda had a full name: Minch Yoda. In the earliest script draft, Minch has the immortal line: “Skywalker. Skywalker. And why do you come to walk my sky, with the sword of a Jedi knight? … I remember another Skywalker.”

Yikes.  The guy that three years later would bring you this, could have preemptively brought you the above image.

I know, I know.  It wouldn’t have worked out like that, but a guy can daydream and pretend he’s a Jedi, right?

(SIDENOTE: While Photoshopping Sarah Michelle Gellar into Dagobah, I couldn’t help but realize I should Photoshop girls more often.  They’re more fun than Mike Rowe .)

InASense, Lost.. The Flintstones Made A Dick Joke?!

This clip comes from Asylum’s list of the Dirtiest Sexual Innuendos in Children’s Cartoons, but I have to put it here because it sort of shocked me.

I know the show originally aired in prime time, but I don’t even think The Simpsons would try what The Flintstones pulled here

– and no, that’s not an innuendo.

InASense, Lost… Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Disney BLAM!

I did not know Disney BLAM! existed, nor should I have, as I don’t watch the Disney Channel (that much).  So upon finding these videos, I did not initially realize one of them was a parody, and it just about destroyed me.

Thank Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body (or maybe it’s just his head, à la Ted Williams) one’s a fake.  Can you figure out which one before your brain freezes in abject refusal to continue on?

(answer after jump) Read More

InASense, Lost… The Force Is No Longer Strong Within Me

Like many (all?) guys my age, I grew up on Star Wars.

And like many (some?) guys (nerds?) my age, I was way too into it for far too long.

I collected the toys when I was a child, and when they returned to the scene in 1995, I was spellbound.  I gobbled up every figure, ship, and accessory I could get my hands on.  I even waited in line at midnight to get the first wave of toys from The Phantom Menace.

That was a mistake.  And the collecting didn’t last much longer.  In fact, I recently sold my collection for $400.  It originally cost me around $3000.

But like all bad habits, one remnant remains.  I still like to look at the new lines.  It’s been fun to see what figures finally got made, and how some (many) get re-made.  Unfortunately, with The Clone Wars animated movie and TV show, I’m realizing how out of the loop I am when I’m not recognizing them anymore.

Some of the later figures I’m aware of, such as Ahsoka Tano, Asajj Ventress, and Jacen and Jaina Solo.

And some of the faces I recognize if not the names.

The following are the ones I don’t (even though a few were in the original six films):

  • Cad Bane – from The Clone Wars show

Cad Bane is hired by Darth Sidious to break into the Jedi Temple and steal a holocron containing the secret names of future Jedi. The resourceful and cunning bounty hunter carefully puts his plan in place using schematics of the temple, a techno-service droid and an unscrupulous shapeshifter.

  • Leesub Sirln – from Episode IV: A New Hope

Leesub Sirln is a Qiraash and one of the patrons in the Mos Eisley cantina on Tatooine. She is hiding from Imperial authorities that suspect her of having precognitive powers and have declared her a Force adept.

  • Rum Sleg – from Episode I: The Phantom Menace

The Boonta Eve Classic Podrace draws a huge crowd of spectators including bounty hunter Rum Sleg. Held just outside Mos Espa, the race is a high-speed, death-defying competition, which doesn’t stop young Anakin Skywalker from competing.

  • Admiral Yularen – from The Clone Wars show

The Republic admiral oversees a large fleet during the Clone Wars, coordinating battle campaigns from the bridge of his flagship, the Resolute. He contacts battle leaders, such as Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, to keep track of ongoing situations.

  • Hondo Ohnaka – from The Clone Wars show

Hondo Ohnaka is the leader of a band of Weequay pirates and is always accompanied by Pilf Mukmuk, his Kowakian monkey lizard. The pirate chief captures Count Dooku and plans to demand a large ransom for the return of the powerful Separatist leader.

  • Willrow Hood – from Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Willrow Hood works for the gas mining company on Cloud City. When the Empire seizes control of the city, Hood destroys a computer memory core to prevent the Empire from discovering information about secret transactions with the Rebels.

(SIDENOTE: Oh!  He’s also known as the Ice Cream Maker Guy.)

What is he carrying? An ice cream maker!

  • Gelagrub Patrol – from Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Clone troopers ride gelagrubs to patrol the fungal forests of Felucia. Also known as Felucian ground beetles, gelagrubs are easily domesticated in their larval form to be used as mounts. Republic forces invade Felucia to free it from the control of the Separatists and capture the Commerce Guild’s headquarters located on the planet.

  • Jeremoch Colton – from Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Jeremoch Colton is the pilot of Senator Bail Organa’s ship, the Tantive IV. As Colton is flying the vessel into Coruscant, he receives a message from Chancellor Palpatine’s office, which he plays for Organa and his passengers Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

  • And I have no idea who this chick in a Stormtrooper chest plate is supposed to be…

Needless to say, the last good Star Wars thing I saw was Genndy Tartakovsky’s take on the Clone Wars cartoon.  I’ve only seen Episode III once, hence the fuzzy memories.  And after all this, what is my lesson learned?

I need to start watching The Clone Wars on the Cartoon Network!

InASense, Lost… If At First You Did Exist, Try, Triceratops

(From "Art of My Mind" - click image for link)

I don’t get this discovery.

Apparently, Scientists! (my sarcastic pronouncement in honor of Actors!) have determined that this…

Of course it's the Triceratops.

…didn’t exist.  “They” (wait – we know it’s the Scientists!) say that Triceratops are really just the baby version of this:

This is the... Torosaursus?

Nobody knows what a Torosaurus is!  Why not say that the Torosaurus didn’t exist, and it’s the grown up version of a Triceratops!?

(SIDENOTE: I know I’m not supposed to capitalize the terrible-lizards-that-may-be-terrible-birds’ names, but they have a special place in my heart… a place that’s apparently German and capitalizes nouns.)

This is tantamount to Twix calling their original candy bars Caramel, and their peanut butter versions Twix!

Or the drawing at the post’s start.