What A Bunch Of Duck-ing Ice Holes!*

So this happened at the University of Oregon

For the record, it doesn’t look fun or funny.  But if someone was playing Winter Wonderland on a boombox… (daydreams… considers mixing the Youtube video)… no, still not funny.


*The school’s team is the Ducks, in case you were pundering.


A Handful Of… Things I Want For Christmas

Just in time for Christmas Eve, I’ve assembled a list of containing A Handful Of items I may actually want, even though I told all my loved ones not to buy me anything because I didn’t buy them anything.  Will they listen this year?  Hopefully.  But they haven’t yet, and I feel like a real dick when they do.  Unless that’s what they wanted.  Then they did get a gift from me after all!

So you can keep warm while looking cool.

So you can keep warm while looking cool.

I missed it when this Marc Ecko product had its original run, but aren’t we living in the age of the TripleDoubleU?!  Anything’s possible!  But probably not buy by tomorrow…

This game looks just like you’re playing the TV show.  Do you know how many times I’ve wished Friends would have done that?  Oh, and I should mention this – I would like the 360 pre-order version so I can get Mysterion.  So what if this doesn’t come out until next year.  I can wait.

I will not name him Tony.

I will not name him Tony.

I was just telling my brother the other day that I have three loves in this world:

  1. Robots
  2. Taco Bell
  3. Duets

The other two are kind of off-point, but this little robot would be a nice beginning for my impending robot-infested dominion.

Final words before my inevitable incarceration: "See you all later... you know, because I was secretly video taping you."

Final words before my inevitable incarceration: “See you all later… you know, because I was secretly video taping you.”

My sister actually brought these to my attention, and they haven’t left my consciousness since.  I brought up the possibility of getting these to a few friends, and one deftly responded: “Creepersville.”  My initial interest was genuine – wear this to bars to capture conversation flows or to a soccer game to get a first-person perspective of my awfulness.  But it’s there – right on the fringe of Creepersville no matter my intent.  The only other inevitable problem is that I have enough difficulty living in the moment as it is.  With these, I’ll be living in perpetual time-delay.

Awful Battle… Out Of Ideas NBC?

Don’t ask me how it happened, but I watched the ending of Howie Mandel’s new game show, Take It All.  (And Michael Bublé’s Home for the Holidays.  No excuses for that either.  Actually, Elmo was going to be on it, and I wondered if there were going to be any tasteless puns.  I got to hand it to them – there weren’t.)

Anyhowie, the end of Take It All was a hell of a lot (and by hell of a lot, I mean exactly) like an old Game Show Network, um, game show called Friend or Foe? (hosted by the MTV VJ that vocalized keeping her the V-card, Kennedy).

Greed Or Greater Good?

Nothing like a new game show for the holidays.

Essentially, at the game’s end, both players much choose between A or B.  For Take It All, A equaled “Keep Mine” and B equaled “Take It All,” and on Friend or Foe?, A equaled “Friend” and B equaled… I can’t recall.  If both people choose A, both people win.  If both people choose B, both people lose.  If only one chooses A, they win everything.

So apparently, NBC is running with this Take It All mentality with some upcoming shows.

Deception looks a lot like ABC’s Revenge to me.

A girl infiltrates a group pretending to be someone else to get revenge... I mean deceive them.

A girl infiltrates a group pretending to be someone else to get revenge… I mean deceive them. Why? Because rich people are assholes.

Even better, NBC is ripping off their own failed projects, because Do No Harm Done seems a lot like Awake.  Did they just have a bunch of leftover scripts?  (And art department files?)

A guy is living two lives. One splits a twelve hour shift; the other waking and sleeping hours. Which for a pothead is twelve hours. Neither of these is about a pothead.

Each one is about a guy is living two lives. One splits a twelve-hour shift between his dual lives; the other splits waking and sleeping hours. Which for a pothead is twelve hours each. Neither of these is about a pothead.

Happy Finds… Doubly Overstimulated Edition

I hate to be crude, but I’m having difficulyt typnig write know…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

(IF IT DOESN’T WORK CLICK HERE —> Happy Easter From Kate Upton Video, posted with vodpod

hears another… perha[s on3 someladies may enjoy a bit two…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

(IF IT DOESN’T WORK CLICK HERE —> The Sun – Romantic Death (Official Music Video)…, posted with vodpod

JusWondering… What Does 37 Mean To Me?

So like I JusWondered above:

What does 37 mean to me?

Perhaps an old Michelle Pfeiffer film?

It also starred Peter Gallagher.

Perhaps mutant Detroit Tigers’ pitcher Max Scherzer?

He's a better pitcher than a belly itcher.

Perhaps a rather blue scene from the black-and-white film Clerks?

Oh, wait.  I remember.  That’s how old I am now.

This is about right.

Hibbidy-Wah?! There’s Fake And Then There’s FAKE

This, of course, is fake (but spot on):

As for this TV spot previewing The Darkest Hour, keep a lookout for this guy at the 0:15 mark:

No, that is not a hula hoop around him.

Is that Max Headroom, or a waxy-faced man who doesn’t know how to run natural?  Here’s the commercial:


In this ad for eHarmony, do we really believe Jon?  No guy really doesn’t want to be single that bad… plus, I only think about 1 in 10 guys roll their eyes upward when counting to the number two:

A Handful Of… The Video Games That Got Away

It’s closing in on Gimme Gimme Day, and what better way to celebrate the joyous overconsumption and high-expectations of youth than to examine the video games I was never Given Given.

Here are A Handful Of… The Video Games That Got Away:

Ah, the good ol' days of 16-color EGA graphics...

Not what you’d expect to be first.  This came out back in the days of me playing the original Maniac Mansion and Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders, but it was only available for Commodore 64.  I had an IBM-compatible.  To those not around at the time, that’s like wanting Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, when all you have is the Wii.

I had a Sega Genesis, but I didn’t get the system when it was originally released with Altered Beast.  Then again, ToeJam and Earl was still released after that.  I’m not sure why I didn’t get this game.  All I know is that I wanted it.

Another nerdy PC game.  (It was available for DOS, but it looked fantastic on the Amiga.  So I wanted the Amiga.)  I didn’t even really play chess, but I guess I craved digitized violence.  Don’t be surprised if one day it’s revealed that this game paved the way for Mortal Kombat.  Speaking of kombat

This was one of the two arcade fighting games I was good at (the other was Virtua Fighter), so when it was announced that there would be a version for the Super Nintendo, I was ecstatic.  Then I realized how people must have felt when Pac-Man was finally released for the Atari 2600…  Here’s the SNES commercial:

cavern of the evil wizard

"I get to be on top!"

This game might look familiar, although its name is not.  That’ sbecause you probably saw Tom Hanks playing it in the movie Big.  Sadly, TCOTEW never existed in the real world… until now.   Try it by clicking here.

Think of it as my early Gimme Gimme present for you.

Drunken Recollection… Latitudes, Longitudes, And Flucrush

Everything's eventual... don't be in such a "flucrush."

This has to be one of the strangest bar arguments I ever got into.

It was at trivia, which is a rarer thing these days, and a question came up:

At what latitude is the north pole?

And at first I thought zero, but then we remembered the equator is zero.  So our (my) next “logical” jump was to say 180.  We paused on 90, but stuck with 180, and answered incorrectly.  We weren’t mad about that.  But it jump-started one of the loudest vocal challenges.  Degrees, and spheres, and pi (yes the pi without the e), and Tropic of Cancer, and Prime Meridian, and pumpkins were involved and shouted.  (The pumpkin still at the bar provided a nice example of the way longitude is measured.) No one jumped in; no one told us to quiet down; everyone looked.

I was going to explain the resolution of our semantics, but then I realized that’s even worse than what’s above.

So I’ll mention the invention of a new word – flucrush – and that it’s pronounced FLUH-KRUSH, not FLOO-KRUSH.  It has no meaning, but you’ll know when to use it.