Hibbidy-Wah?! | monkeyBLOG monkeyDO

Hibbidy-Wah?! Why Is No One Pitching A “B” About This?

Posted on March 5, 2012 by sgottahurt

I think it’s really ~~weird~~ surprising that a channel like ABC would have a show on it called GCB. Here’s the poster:

It stands for "Good Christian Blondes," right? It doesn't!

Well, that’s a one-in-a-thousand shot-in-the-dark(ness-of-hell) scenario. It’s based on a book written by a lady, so there’s that. But the show’s written and produced by men, so there’s that. But at least one of them is gay, so there’s that.

I don’t know what any of those that’s are really about, but what about the chances that this exists! And on the same network!

Please tell me this "B" is short for "Black-Haired Girl"...

Have we come so far as a society that it’s okay to name not one – but two – TV shows using the short-hand form of the word bitch? And both of those shows are on a channel owned by Disney?!

I guess ABC Family raised (?) the bar with its Secret Life of the American Teenager:

(Thanks Joel McHale and The Soup!)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Hibbidy-Minaj?!

Posted on February 13, 2012 by sgottahurt

I believe Nicki Minaj is trying to drive me insane. Or at least make me feel like a Stupid Hoe:

I find the strangest allusion (in the midst of strange illusions) to be this:

Nicki Minaj meets Lily Tomlin meets Big Chair

A reference to Edith Ann? Is that because Edith Ann was an ~~alter-ego~~ character of Lily Tomlin, and Nicki Minaj also has ~~a character~~ an alter-ego that goes by the name of Roman Zolanski? Also, is Nicki Minaj possessed? Am I going to keep asking questions?

What do you think, Edith Ann?

Hibbidy-Wah?! Are You Effing Kidding Me?

Posted on January 19, 2012 by sgottahurt

No.

Seriously.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Click this picture to read the Amazon reviews.

I’m not about to jump on the bandwagon of slamming some misguided, self-righteous kid, but boy… do I want to. This is one of those situations best illustrated by illustrations I made to defend Justin Bieber:

By hating on McKay Hatch and his No Cussing Club, you only make his message stronger. But then he goes and makes videos like this, and it takes you somewhere completely different:

The only reason I know about him and his fruitless endeavor is because he came out against an episode of Modern Family in which the toddler Lily says:

Fudge.

That’s really what she said in real life. Fudge. They just bleeped it out like Jimmy Kimmel does in his Unnecessary Censorship:

And he wonders why he’s “the most cyberbullied kid in the world”?

Here are rational reasons why; here’s the irrational; and here’s one more.

Hibbidy-Wah?! There’s A World Record For That?!

Posted on January 5, 2012 by sgottahurt

Hmm.

I don’t know what would ~~sex~~ drive a man to beat this record, but I’ve got to hand it to this guy for sticking to something. (I chose not to italicize the puns to give you a shot at picking them up. It’s not that hard.)

(via)

Hibbidy-Wah?! There’s Fake And Then There’s FAKE

Posted on December 16, 2011 by sgottahurt

This, of course, is fake (but spot on):

As for this TV spot previewing The Darkest Hour, keep a lookout for this guy at the 0:15 mark:

No, that is not a hula hoop around him.

Is that Max Headroom, or a waxy-faced man who doesn’t know how to run natural? Here’s the commercial:

BONUS (MAYBE) FAKE!

In this ad for eHarmony, do we really believe Jon? No guy really doesn’t want to be single that bad… plus, I only think about 1 in 10 guys roll their eyes upward when counting to the number two:

Hibbidy-Wah?! Looks Like I Made It! (But I Got No Credit…)

Posted on December 1, 2011 by sgottahurt

I listen to Dave and Chuck the Freak (and Lisa) on 89X every morning here in Detroit. I’ve listened to them since the days of when it was just Kelly Brown and Dave Hunter, and I remember when they had the contest to name Chuck inevitably The Freak. I remember when Lisa Way was the traffic wench (but only on days when Kelly was gone), and I rejoiced when she ended up officially joining the show (though she still doesn’t share the headline).

So this morning, when they called out for help to send them a picture of a billboard they were talking about (Podcast 12/1/11 Part Two), I ran to my phone and emailed them a link to my blog.

This was the link.

They rejoiced upon receiving it (Dave wanted to share the image of the gynecologist/weekend DJ with Chuck and Lisa), but I heard no personalized thanks. I waited for maybe an email (Dave is usually very kind about sending responses), but nothing. They mentioned they were going to throw the pic on their blog, and so I waited.

Maybe it wasn’t my picture that I took with my camera…

But it was:

*sniff* No DJ (or gyno/DJ) love...

I guess it’s only karma… I use other people’s online pics all the time.

Hibbidy-Wah?! This Can’t Be Real

Posted on October 18, 2011 by sgottahurt

Sharks don’t have eyes like this, even if they have two:

I looks like a giant noodle with a glass eye.

Sharks have eyes like this:

I hope this one's dead.

It doesn’t even have teeth! I know it’s supposed to be a bull shark fetus. Wait… what does a bull shark’s eye look like?

Oh my jaws!

(via)

Hibbidy-Wah?! What Ding-A-Ling Came Up With This One?

Posted on October 2, 2011 by sgottahurt

If you’re a fan of workout equipment that reminds you of male dirty bits, then move over Shake Weight, because the Free Flexor is in town!

Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is A Thing Now, Too?

Posted on September 17, 2011 by sgottahurt

I’ve brought up cone-ing once before, but I had no idea that there would be an anti-movement against it.

If you’re unaware of what cone-ing is, it’s the process of buying an ice cream cone from McDonald’s and grabbing it by the ice cream. It’s apparently become such an epidemic that the workers are striking back: