Film

Awesome Battle… Good Will Hunting Vs. Swinging Mike Peters

Posted on by sgottahurt

It's like Matt and Ben are the hood of the car.

Swingers and Good Will Hunting hold a sort of distinction in film history as being the “ones that dun it“… meaning, despite their best previous efforts, until the comedy and drama became success stories, nobody knew:

  • Jon Favreau
  • Vince Vaughn
  • Matt Damon
  • Ben Affleck

But which film is the better Bar Mitzvah Quinceañera Sweet Sixteen coming out party?  Let’s wage an Awesome Battle!

BOX OFFICE

Swingers was put together for $200,000, and it went on to make $4.5 million.  Good Will Hunting was produced for $10 million and it netted almost $226 million.  That’s pretty close ratios, so let’s get specific:

$4,555,020 gross / $200,000 investment = 22.7751 (Swingers)

$225,933,435 gross / $10,000,000 investment = 22.5933435 (Good Will Hunting)

So Swingers earned just over 2277% of its budget, whereas Good Will Hunting earned just over 2259% of its budget.

  • WINNER: Swingers
  • APPROPRIATE QUOTE: “You’re so money and you don’t even know it!”

CRITICAL ACCLAIM

We can take two aspects into consideration here: reviews and awards.

Swingers received 87% Fresh from critics (45 positive reviews and 7 negative)

Good Will Hunting received 97% Fresh from critics (68 positive reviews and 2 negative)

89% of the audience liked Swingers; 92% liked Good Will Hunting.

As for awards, Good Will Hunting won Best Supporting Actor for Robin Williams and Oscars for Best Original Screenplay went to Damon and Affleck.  So that’s three for the drama; zero for the comedy.

  • WINNER: Good Will Hunting
  • APPROPRIATE QUOTE: “How do ya like them tomatoes apples?”

INCREASE IN STAR POWER

So let’s take a quick rundown of everyone’s successes following these films?

Jon Favreau has directed these films which together grossed about $1.6 billion:

  • Elf
  • Iron Man
  • Iron Man 2
  • Cowboys & Aliens

Vince Vaughn has starred in these films which together grossed about $744 million:

  • Old School
  • Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
  • Wedding Crashers
  • The Break-Up

Matt Damon has starred in these two trilogies which together grossed about $2.1 billion:

  • Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen
  • The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum

Ben Affleck has starred in and/or written/directed these critically acclaimed films which together grossed about $477 million + Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor which made another $449 million:

  • Shakespeare in Love
  • Gone Baby Gone
  • The Town

(Plus Ben Affleck was getting plenty of J. Lo when the getting was good.)

  • WINNER: Their agents
  • APPROPRIATE QUOTE: “You move, you die.” – Jason Bourne, in The Bourne Identity, which was directed by Swingers’ director, Doug Liman (full circle)

SO THE OVERALL WINNER IS…

Us… I guess?  Nope, nope.  It’s their agents.

Unofficial Trilogy… “Who Arted?” Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

This was another situation in which I happened to watch three films in order, and each subsequent film made me re-evaluate the prior one.  If this sounds arty as fuck, that’s because I watched three “documentaries” about the nature of art:

Aren't posters art unto themselves?

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Watch this film first.  It’s imperative to do so.  Plus, it’s the most accessible.  It unfolds as a documentary by a man obsessed with street artists, that unfolds into a documentary about that very same man.  Director and street artist Banksy examines what makes art “art” via this romp that also asks what makes a documentary “a documentary.”

Catfish

Like ETtGS, this film received a lot of slack about whether it was real or a setup.  I sit on the sidelines and commend it for making me think not only about the events in this film (which though not surprising are still somehow shocking), and Banksy’s effort.

My Kid Could Paint That

I’m not big into abstract art, but I do have to admit that the artwork presented in this film was appealing… no matter the artist.  Again, I don’t want to give away too many details, but this film really shines a light on aspects of the first two films, by asking:

Are we admiring art or the artist?

Or as I titled this Unofficial Trilogy:

Who arted?

JusWondering… Why Is There Still No Film About Moe Norman?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t read as much as I should, and I don’t follow as many sports now as I may one day in my life.  But the convergence of those two facts lands as straight as one of his shots on Moe Norman:

That's Moe, mo' or less...

He’s a Canadian golfer that has a couple of books written about him, but the Wayne Gretzky-produced movie based on his life has yet to see the light.

Check out this video about him:

It’s supposed to be titled Dance the Green, but I have some other suggestions:

  • “Pipeline” (that’s his nickname, so it’s an obvious one)
  • “Teed Off” (sounds like too much of a comedy, although the film would likely be comical)
  • “UnderMoe” (underdog pun meets undertow rhyme)
  • “Golden Tee” (people might think it’s based on the video game, ergo, go and see it)

My best suggestion would have to be this one:

  • “Who is Moe Norman?”

A Handful Of… Former Soap Stars You Didn’t Know You Liked

Posted on by sgottahurt

I would guess that except for two people I know that read this blog, no one that reads this blog watches soap operas.  (While in all actuality, no one I know reads this blog…)

Anyboohoo, there are probably some Actors! you like that you didn’t realize were on soap operas earlier in their careers.  And these appearances weren’t just cameos or extras work… legit characters were given life by these fan favorites.  Let’s begin with one that you may know about:

  • Sarah Michelle Gellar – Kendall Hart, All My Children (1993-95)

She played Buffy. She played Daphne. Who can't she play?

WHY YOU LIKE HER: On one hand, the background in the above photo should be a clue.  On another hand, this.

  • Tom Berenger – Tim Seigel, One Life to Live (1975-76)

City Mouse and, um, Country Mouse

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: Come on… he was a bad ass.  Not only was he in both Major League films, he was in Platoon, the first The Substitute, and three Sniper films.  Grant it – I’ve only seen the baseball comedies.  Did you know there were three Sniper films?!

  • Richard Dean Anderson – Dr. Jeff Webber, General Hospital (1976-81)

All he needs is a paper clip, a gum wrapper... and a mullet.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: It should be a mantra – MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1…  You get it.

  • Alec Baldwin – Billy Aldrich, The Doctors (1980-82) / Joshua Rush, Knots Landing (1984-86)

Everybody used to look like this eventually.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: This is my controversial entry.  Not just because you may have never heard of The Doctors soap opera (there’s a stupid talk show starring a Bachelor reject with the same name) nor because Knots Landing was a nighttime soap, but because some people don’t like him!  This blows my mind, just like the fact he was on TV waaaay before Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock.  (P.S. Check out Malice if you’ve never seen it.)

  • Christopher Walken – Mike Bauer, Guiding Light (1954-56)

So many choices... I chose this.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: I was going to close with Rick Springfield until I made this discovery.  I mean, Jesse’s Girl is the never-dying, one-hit wonder I’ve always wished joked that wished I could write, but how many movies would have never made it to production if Walden didn’t get involved?  Blast From the Past, The Stepford Wives, Joe Dirt, Excess Baggage, Balls of Fury, Envy, Country Bears… I should have went with Springfield.

(more here)

InASense, Lost… It’s Already Been A Dozen Years

Posted on by sgottahurt

The 1990’s.

They finished twelve years ago.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

Some of the stuff in this video happened twenty years ago:

Microchips, microwaves, faxes, airplane phones, Hammertime, monthly visitors, witches were women, Cinderella would talk deals on her cellular phone and throw her wicked step sisters into the pool, people kissed, girlfriends had girlfriends, parents discussed sex with their children – or not, you would say something cool before you hit someone in the face, unnecessary litigation…

Anybody miss the hair?

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/29455771]

(via)

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Girl With The Drag-On Preview

Posted on by sgottahurt

I thought this preview was The Shit:

It really spoke volumes to me.  (Probably because it is a very loud preview in the theater.)  I’ve been a longtime fan of director David Fincher, and even with his misstep that was the ingratiating The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I had hopes that The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo could be good.

Until I saw this:

Boooooooooooorrrrrriiiinnnnnngggg…

If I wanted to read the book, I would have read the book.  This follow-up “explanatory” trailer has completely turned me off of the movie.  And that’s Just Shitty…

Unofficial Trilogy… Man’s Mind Trilogy

Posted on by sgottahurt

This has been a topic I’ve intended to set up for a quite while now: a focus on the Unofficial Trilogy.  And since the majority of my posts tend to rally around music or TV, I wanted something that’s solely movie related, hence this.

On more than several occasions, I’ve seen three movies consecutively, or close enough to each other, that all tie into a similar theme.  To initiate this category, I will discuss the Man’s Mind Trilogy.

Look at how dark all those posters are.

Roger Dodger

Ladies… do you think men are pigs?  Are they born that way, or are they made?  That’s kind of the simplest breakdown of this film’s thesis.  It examines the effects of wanting/having/needing sex on the male mind, and how that gets passed down through the generations.  Campbell Scott plays uncle to Jesse Eisenberg, back when Jesse was just Hallie Eisenberg’s older brother, and not an Oscar-nominated Actor!  Who’s Hallie, you also ask?  Remember the Pepsi Girl commercials?

High Fidelity

Author Nick Hornby could have made this list twice (About a Boy was thisclose to making this trilogy), but this one is on here because it examines what men think about relationships.  Every aspect of relationships.  Before they’re in them.  While they’re in them.  Even the flickering relationship men have with the memories of their faded relationships.  And it takes place in a record store.  You know, because records is a metaphor for records, yo!

Fight Club

What does it mean to be a Man in the Modern World?  Fight Club certainly doesn’t pull any punches (ha!) when examining this question.  I won’t divulge the scope or the twist of this film because if you haven’t seen this somehow, I won’t be the one to ruin it.  But I have three parting words for you: duvet… and Bitch Tits.

In Defense Of… This Unlikely, Unlikable Couple

Posted on by sgottahurt

You may not know the names Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stoddard, but if you watch celebrity gossip shows, you know their faces:

This is marriage, with an emphasis on "age."

Yes, this is the happily wedded couple consisting of the 51-year-old Actor! and the 16- or 17-year-old Country Singer(?)!  Many uproarious reports have been filed and fed to the public, but I’m here to *ahem* defend them.

Why have I waited so long?  Basically, the bottom of the barrel has been scraped away, and they are what’s left.

To begin, I’m not going to get into any of the age junk; I’m more interested in the weirdness factor.  That’s the only thing I can defend.  They’re getting their own reality show, and it begs the question – is this what they’re all about?

Let’s examine other trainwrecks that have had their own reality shows:

In reality TV, their show would simply be a combination of The Real Housewives and Toddlers & Tiaras, and both of those are certifiable hits… and certifiable misses.

JusWondering… What Song Titles Would Make Really Good Movie Titles?

Posted on by sgottahurt

What do Roy Orbison, Neil Sedaka, and Phil Phillips all have in common, other than you probably have no idea who they are?

They have nothing to do with this movie, that's for sure.

Guessing that they’re all singers is the cheap answer; the real answer is that they’ve all had movies named after their songs: Phillips’ Sea of Love, Sedaka’s Calendar Girl, and Orbison’s Pretty Woman and Only the Lonely.  (I was going to add Huey Lewis and The News to that mix, but I don’t believe Jacob’s Ladder: The Movie was named after Jacob’s Ladder: The Song.)

So I started JusWondering, what other song titles could make good movie titles?

The year is 2053.  God is dead.  Only a handful of sentries can hold the world in balance, and they are… the Karma Police.

From the producers of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, here comes Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand… starring whoever is the next Jim Carrey in a serious role, or a twit Brit like Hugh Grant.

The long-awaited sequel to Al Pacino’s 1975 classic, Dog Day Afternoon.  Follow Sonny Wortzik’s life after prison, and Leon Shermer (Chris Sarandon) as a woman.

Look!  In the air!  Is it a bird?  Is it another flying animal that makes musical noises?  It’s Piano Man!

The video for this song is already like a movie:

(SIDENOTE: Did you know Ryan Gosling’s latest, Drive, is named after the Incubus song?  Did you know I made that up?)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Sillydink Or Sillydonk?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Of course I know in reality, this is neither a Coinkydink or a Coinkydonk, but it’s fun nonetheless.

The first time I saw this preview, I thought it was brilliant… a throwback to previews of films from the 70’s edited in the style of Generation YouTube.  Here is the trailer for David Fincher’s upcoming The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo:

The first time I saw this preview moments ago, I thought it also was brilliant.  And green.  Definitely green…