Film

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? We’re All Puppets In Some Way, I Guess

Posted on by sgottahurt

The Muppets and Stars and Guest Stars and Cameo Stars and a Building and Horizontal Blinds

I saw the new Muppets movie around Over-Indulgence Day, and something about its cast struck me as interesting on a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk level.

It occurred to me that cameo star John Krasinski (better only? known as Jim Halpert from The Office) has connections to three of the ladies in the film.

Johnny Be Good

In The Office, John Krasinski’s character dated both Amy Adams and Rashida Jones’ characters, and in real life he’s married to Emily Blunt (she played Miss Piggy’s receptionist in Paris).

So is he in it because they’re all in it, or, no – it wouldn’t work the other way…

That’s crazy, right?  It’s at least as crazy as Stephanie Courtney being in the Cavemen TV show:

You see, she was in a show based on GEICO characters, then she'd later be a character in Progressive ads. Talk about job insurance!

BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!

Disney’s Muppets:

Fozzie, wait for it...

Disney’s Puppets:

...okay, go for it! "Wocka, wocka, wocka!"

(SIDENOTE: Isn’t it weird that Miss Piggy is wearing the same outfit?)

Why the non-Muppets are puppets:

  1. Whoopi Goldberg is one of the hosts on The View which is on ABC… which is owned by Disney.
  2. Rico Rodriguez, or Manny from Modern Family, and it’s on ABC (see above).
  3. Selena Gomez was on Wizards of Wizardly Place, which was on The Disney Channel.

BONUS BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!

The last two movies I saw in the theater featured this guy, and he’s only been in like six twelve films:

The NPH

A Handful Of… The Video Games That Got Away

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s closing in on Gimme Gimme Day, and what better way to celebrate the joyous overconsumption and high-expectations of youth than to examine the video games I was never Given Given.

Here are A Handful Of… The Video Games That Got Away:

Ah, the good ol' days of 16-color EGA graphics...

Not what you’d expect to be first.  This came out back in the days of me playing the original Maniac Mansion and Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders, but it was only available for Commodore 64.  I had an IBM-compatible.  To those not around at the time, that’s like wanting Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, when all you have is the Wii.

I had a Sega Genesis, but I didn’t get the system when it was originally released with Altered Beast.  Then again, ToeJam and Earl was still released after that.  I’m not sure why I didn’t get this game.  All I know is that I wanted it.

Another nerdy PC game.  (It was available for DOS, but it looked fantastic on the Amiga.  So I wanted the Amiga.)  I didn’t even really play chess, but I guess I craved digitized violence.  Don’t be surprised if one day it’s revealed that this game paved the way for Mortal Kombat.  Speaking of kombat…

This was one of the two arcade fighting games I was good at (the other was Virtua Fighter), so when it was announced that there would be a version for the Super Nintendo, I was ecstatic.  Then I realized how people must have felt when Pac-Man was finally released for the Atari 2600…  Here’s the SNES commercial:

cavern of the evil wizard

"I get to be on top!"

This game might look familiar, although its name is not.  That’ sbecause you probably saw Tom Hanks playing it in the movie Big.  Sadly, TCOTEW never existed in the real world… until now.   Try it by clicking here.

Think of it as my early Gimme Gimme present for you.

Musical Musings… What An A$$…

Posted on by sgottahurt

In the 80’s, it seemed like every song was about love.

In the 90’s, it was all about dancing.

In the Aughties, it was all about sex.

Now — it’s just about body parts:

What I find extra funny, aside from it reminding me of this scene from the excellent Idiocracy…

…is that it samples MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This, which in turn sampled (or more accurately, liberally borrowed) the hook from Rick James’ Super Freak.

So this translates to one of two things:

1) “A copy of a copy isn’t quite as sharp as the original.”

Take this scene from Multiplicity, in which Two has made a clone of himself, which in turn was already a clone of Doug (Michael Keaton).  Enjoy:

2) This song is the audio equivalent of this:

Ass, ass, ass, indeed.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Scarlett And Amber In The Same Dream?! Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Posted on by sgottahurt

I am enamored with Amber Heard:

The Gods Heard My Heart

And everyone loves Scarlett Johannson (except Ryan Reynolds, and maybe Sandra Bullock):

I should write her a Scarlett Letter...

Well, lucky me had a dream in which both of them appeared…

…except they only wanted to talk.

About the meaning of life.

In an abstract setting.

As they walked and discussed the infinite, the scene kept changing like a screensaver.  Or a Salvatore Dali painting:

Not cool, subconscious... not cool...

Unofficial Trilogy… Cartoonish Nazi Bashing Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

I know you’ve seen these, but I implore you to watch them again.

Fun times in not-so-(Nazi?)-fun times

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Raiders of the Lost Ark might be critically regarded as the best of the Indy films, but I was fourteen when Indy went on his supposedly Last Crusade and it’s my favorite.  I’m not a huge movie quote-spouter regularly, but with this film (and Ghostbusters), I can whip out (ha!) more than a few.  And don’t forget Sean Connery!  Plus Hitler signing the Grail Diary!  This film belongs in a museum.

The Rocketeer

One of my all-time favorite episodes of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was when there was a bad guy so bad that He-Man and Skeletor teamed up to save Eternia.  Aside from the happy heroics and the happier soundtrack, this film does the same – the Rocketeer teams up with mobsters to fight Nazis!  America, fuck yeah!

Inglourious Basterds

This film seemed to be the most fun Brad Pitt had since Snatch (take that whatever way you want).  We get not only exposed to one of the greatest film villains of all-time in Chistoph Waltz’s Colonel Hans Landa, we are treated to an early glimpse of the greatness that is Michael Fassbender/Magneto.  Bonus: Mike Myers isn’t playing Shrek!  We also get one more guest appearance from Hitler himself, but the Inglourious Basterds accomplish what Indy couldn’t, so once again… America, fuck yeah!

Awesome Battle… Nathan Fillion Vs. Brendan Fraser

Posted on by sgottahurt

Wanna bet Brendan Fraser is jealous of Nathan Fillion because he’s what Fraser always wanted to be?  Let’s check out the comparisons…

Fraser: "Bring it!" Fillion: "It's brung..."

NATIONALITY

Fillion was born in Edmonton and remains Canadian; Fraser was born in Indianapolis and later would move to Ottawa and Toronto.

POINT: Fillion, for sticking to his maple leaf logo guns.

BREAKING INTO HOLLYWOOD

Fraser’s first major role was as an unfrozen caveman in Encino Man; Fillion starred as a cast regular on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live.  (He should have been on this list.)

POINT: It’s a wash.

CAREER HIGHS

Fraser was in the critically acclaimed Gods and Monsters, the Academy Award-winning(ly bad) Crash, and the monetarily successful Mummy trilogy; Fillion was in Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan (as the wrong Private Ryan) and Firefly/Serenity.

POINT: Fillion.

CAREER LOWS

Let’s see… for Fraser, where do you begin: Airheads, George of the Jungle, Blast from the Past, Dudley Do-Right, Monkeybone, Journey to the Center of the Earth, and Furry Vengeance; for Fillion, you have just Blast from the Past?

POINT: Fillion.

CURRENT PROJECTS

Fillion is already into season four of the hit (?) ABC show Castle; Fraser is set to appear as Vanessa Hudgens’ absentee father in a flick named after a Rolling Stones song.

POINT: Another wash, as I don’t watch either.

But my POINT is this:

Although Brendan Fraser has appeared in way more movies, a fair amount of which were even successful, and Nathan Fillion has had to muddle his way through plenty of failed TV shows to get to this one… Fraser would fetch Fillion’s fervent fan base in freaking flash!  Alliteration!

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Ranking Nerd TV Producers

Posted on by sgottahurt

Nerds love nerds.  Even the candy.

But nerds also hate nerds, and no one more nerdy than a nerd can properly slam another nerd.  You know the old nerd adage:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

There’s one exception to that:

Nerds’ words hurt nerds worst.

What I plan to examine here is a gaggle of famous nerd TV (and film) producers (and writers), and do what every nerd dares to do to others, but fears to have done to them — rank them as TV producers… from The Shit To Just Shitty.

THE SHIT (EXPECTED)

Joss Whedon

WHAT HE’S DONE: Firefly… plus Dollhouse, Buffy, and Angel if you’re into those as well

WHAT HE HASN’T DONE: Screwed over his fans.  Whedon is such a fanboy nerd, he took his box office failure of a movie, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and created two long-running shows from that; he also took a failed TV show, Firefly, and wrapped up its story in a movie (Serenity)!  BONUS: Fans have a lot of faith in his upcoming film, The Avengers, because of his previous writing credits in comics (The Astonishing X-Men) and earlier screenplay efforts (in whole or in part) for Toy Story, Speed, and one of my favorites, Waterworld.

THE SHIT (UNEXPECTED)

Bryan Fuller

WHAT HE’S DONE: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies

WHAT HE HASN’T DONE: Stayed with Heroes.  He wrote the series best episode, Company Man, which fleshed-out Horned Rim Glasses in a fantastic way that the show could never replicate, and in many ways, would even abandon.  Having characters that make sense?  Heroes would never stoop so low.

KINDA THE SHIT

Rob Thomas

WHAT HE’S DONE: Veronica Mars and Party Down

WHAT HE HASN’T DONE: Enough.  More please!

USED TO BE THE SHIT

You know who this is...

WHAT HE’S DONE: Amazing Stories, Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, ER, and later, Band of Brothers

WHAT HE HASN’T DONE: Lived up to producing anything up to the caliber those shows: Pinky and the Brain, Freakazoid, Toonsylvania, Falling Skies, and Terra Nova?  Smash and The River sound no better…

JUST SHITTY

J.J. Abrams

WHAT HE’S DONE: Felicity, LOST, What About Brian, Six Degrees, Undercovers, Person of Interest, and the upcoming Alcatraz

WHAT HE HASN’T DONE: Shit on me.  LOST might not have been all his fault, but the supernatural element was his suggestion.  I didn’t include Alias or Fringe because I haven’t seen them… but if you read this blog regularly (I doubt it) or know me (know one I know reads this), click here to see how I feel about LOST…

Happy Find… Ideas Assemble!

Posted on by sgottahurt

The Avengers aren’t hitting the big screen until next summer, so here’s the trailer for the small screen version now:

Aside from that, there’s a newer online dating site called HowAboutWe that could be interesting… if I online dated.

But my other big to-do is about the Lytro, a functional light field camera, which means you can take a picture without worrying about focusing – you can change the focus later:

Unofficial Trilogy… Halloween Horror Oreo Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m especially proud of this Unofficial Trilogy… The Halloween Horror Oreo:

Horror films always mess with our heads, even in the posters.

It’s very possible that you haven’t heard of any of these films, and if you did, it’s probably more likely that you’ve never seen them.  Watch them!  And in this order.  The Oreo-ness will become apparent soon enough.

The Brood

This David Cronenberg film proves my theory that size matters in regard to what’s scary.  I would explain what this film was about, but I fear (ha!) it would give too much away.  Cronenberg is known primarily for his “body horror” films, and this one is no different.  Watch it first to set the dark mood…

The Stuff

This goofier horror film about a dessert that turns people into zombies is the cream-filling needed to clean your palette after The Brood, and prepare you for…

Frailty

This film is atmospheric as fuck.  And well-written.  And well-directed.  And well-acted, which is weird considering Matthew McConaughey is in it.  It’s about the sons of a serial killer that believes he’s carrying out God’s plans.  Man, is this dark movie good… unlike my write-ups on all these films.

So in closing, when you ask me:

Trick or treat?

You’ll have to watch this Unofficial Horror Oreo Trilogy to find out!

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Movie Preview Circle Jerk

Posted on by sgottahurt

I just wish I could find the inspiration for this post online.  Believe it or not, I saw a trailer on TV for Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar that ripped off the Inception sound.  (I recorded it off TV – unfortunately it’s not as clear as I hoped.  Click here to hear.)  If you don’t know the infamous BRMMMM, click here.

It’s already been ripped off in this past summer’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon and next summer’s The Avengers:

This has happened once before with the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre using the flash bulb sound from the original trailer, and then it popped up everywhere (I just can’t remember where, for the life of me):

Previews are so terrible today, a woman is suing the advertisers of Ryan Gosling’s Drive for being misleading.  I was under the impression it was a cool, 80’s throwback movie based upon its neon logo, until I saw this TV spot:

Unbeatable?  Unstoppable?  Unkillable?

I started thinking he could be some supernatural driver out of the 50’s!  (The lawsuit states the woman thought it was going to be like The Fast and the Furious… my version is better.)

And how about this preview for James McTeigue’s follow-up to V for Vendetta…The RaVen (the capital V is in the preview just to remind you):

Anyone else think the inspector is the murderer?