Let’s examine for one second which car companies sponsored which, um, sponsorees…
Frothy the Snow Cowell
Eight years ago, Ford Motor Company decided to back a show that was not much more than a flashier Star Search.
Was it Coca Cola’s shared involvement?
Was it a long standing crush on Paula Adbul?
Or was it amazing foresight from a company that renamed the Taurus the Five Hundred, and then redubbed it the Taurus again?
Turns out it doesn’t matter. Once Kelly Clarkson happened, American Idol legitimized and therefore blew up.
Speaking of blowing up, let’s remind ourselves which guys GM got behind (or as in the case of this image – between):
"Stuck between two loose screws" - GM's new slogan
GM decided to back Tiger Woods through its Cadillac brand, and that was a good investment for a long time.
They also paid a fair amount of cash to have their fleet of cars featured in both horribleTransformers movies, and those flicks made My Little Ponies pretty pennies.
And in the end, which car company required money from the government bailout?
There’s a common misconception on the TripleDoubleU about Actor!Sean Bean:
He dies in like 85% of his movies!
Another misconception - this is his brother.
The fact of the matter (according to my limited research) is that he’s died in hardly any of his films:
Patriot Games
GoldenEye
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Equilibrium
The Hitcher
I believe it’s the 1-2-3 punch of his higher profile roles leading up to LOTR. Not many knew who he was when he played the bad guy in the second Jack Ryan film, but that lead to him getting recognized as Agent 006 in the successful James Bond reboot, and then of course, Boromir – the most noble of his deaths. And the seed was officially planted.
There are plenty of Actors! that have died more in the movies (Robert DeNiro has 14 times, Bruce Willis has 11, Johnny Depp has 9 1/2… the article that explains the 1/2, and lists more can be found here).
The Sean Bean Effect is alive and well for those guys, and he may one day catch up and surpass them, but what about Actors! that die in television shows?
I’m going to name that effect after this guy:
Jeffrey Dean Morgan, of the Jeffrey Dean Morgan Effect
Not only did Jeffery Dean Morgan have high-profile deaths in Watchmen and P.S. I Love You, he died or was dead or was a ghost in these shows:
Weeds
Supernatural
Grey’s Anatomy
(BONUS: A victim of both TheSB and JDM Effects – Alan Tudyk. He played Wash in the awesome show Firefly, and died in the theatrically released Serenity. He also died in the reboot of V.)
(SIDENOTE: This is one whopper of a CoC, and I fear it is my greatest discovery.)
I love you, television.
There, I said it. Are you happy now? Be it that I’m an idiot for staring into your warming glow (if that’s how you want to take the term “boob tube”) or because I suckle your glass nipple (if that’s how you want to take the term “boob tube”), please know this – you complete me.
Now that that’s out of my system, onto business! I’m sorry baby, but I’ve got work to do.
Two of my favorites shows on television had “mergers” a couple of seasons ago: Lost and The Office.
Lost had this happen in their second season, and the reason why, as producers explained, was to extend the show’s storyline if needed by adding more characters with new flashbacks (I know this from memory, and I’m paraphrasing because I’m too lazy to look it up). The “merger” involved having the survivors in the tail section of the crashed airplane join the remaining survivors. At the start of the third season, the season commitment contract was locked up, and almost all of the new cast members introduced the year prior were eliminated. Almost.
As for The Office, the third season had two branches “merging,” à la the UK (original) version’s second series (that’s what they call “seasons” across the pond). Unlike the British version, almost every new character quit out frustration with their new boss. Almost.
So by now, several seasons later, only two cheeses stood, um, alone.
On Lost, it was Bernard Nadler, “tailie” and husband to Rose Henderson:
Actor! Sam Anderson as Bernard Nadler
On The Office, it was anger-prone Andy Bernard, a.k.a. The Nard-Dog, alumnus of Cornell University:
Actor! Ed Helms as Andy Bernard
So to recap… the two characters that survived massive cast “mergers” were both named Bernard. Do I smell a Coinkydink or is that a tinge of Coinkydonk?
BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK: An Actor! by the combined name of Andy Nadler played a character named Barnard (sp?) in the independent film, The Guatemalan Handshake. Consider your mind blown.
This one took me awhile to figure out, but it doesn’t make the Coinkydink or Coinkdonk any less powerful (and they’re not very powerful to begin with)…
With Actor! Jared Leto out there fulfilling his Jordan Catalano duties as the lead singer in his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, I suddenly realized that his band name was a hybrid of two other Actors!‘s band names that came before:
Keanu Reeves kept it chill in space with his band, Dogstar
30 Odd Foot of Dogstar
So… weird, huh? Slightly. I mean, Kevin Costner, Julitte Lewis, and Jada Pinkett Smith’s band names (Modern West, The Licks, andWicked Wisdomdisrespectively) don’t bear any similarity to the others or each other.
So I posed a question to my co-workers and friends… besides each being in a band, what do these three Actors! have in common?
Once upon a time in a nearby place, I had an epiphany. Okay, it wasn’t so much of an epiphany as it was a drunk idea. I thought:
Hey! Dijoo ever notes how girls shows names flow pattern?
What that means is exactly what it says. Television shows named after their female leads always give an indication as to what type of show that will be… without ever seeing the show. Whether this is a Coinkydink (coincidence) or a Coinkydonk (on purpose) will be up to you. Presenting the types:
Though 80’s classics, I never could get into the Teen Wolf movies (soon to be an MTV show). There was something unfulfilling about them, though they were ripe with fodder (<—a phrase not used often enough).
I was a big fan of both Michael J. Fox and Jason Bateman at the time of each respective release, so what went wrong?
I may have found the answer via Topless Robot’s Twitter feed. Commenters on the nerd-centric blog pointed out a peculiar Coinkydink (or Coinkydonk – vote below) to site-founder, Rob Bricken, while he was on a tizzy about NBC’s Heroes driving him to drink.
The facts are these (I sorely miss Pushing Daisies, which was created by Heroes’ only hero – Bryan Fuller):
Probably overheard saying, "I have no idea what I'm doing."
While this makes little sense to those non-nerd-centric-minded out there, the reason why Heroessucked sucks so bad (I try to pretend it isn’t on anymore), is that it was created by Tim Kring, the guy that wrote a sequel to a crap cash grab movie by Jeph Loeb, and Tim Kring brought Jeph Loeb on board to help oversee Heroes (for awhile).
(SIDENOTE: Loeb was fired last year, but it happened at the point Leo DiCaprio let go of the wood board Kate Winslet was floating on, if Heroes was the Titanic… basically, it occurred too late.)
So if you’re wondering… what am I bashing more – Teen Wolf one and Too, or Heroes? My answer is this: I’m not finished.
While Tim Kring might have went on to create Crossing Jordan and produce Providence (two moderately successful shows I would never watch), he did work on Chicago Hope and Misfits of Science (two awesome shows I wish were on DVD). And the first season of Heroes was great, which gains him some ground, but again, he did hire Loeb, so there that goes…
Now Jeph Loeb on the other hand:
Wrote the wretched X-Man for Marvel Comics, which facilitated my disconnect with the X-Men Universe in paper-and-ink form (tubby Brett Ratner did the same in regard to the films)
Produced the highly suspect, and in retrospect, pretty crappy, second season of Lost
While producing and writing for Smallville, he introduced young Superman to Red Kryptonite, which is usually green; now writing again at Marvel, he introduced Red Hulk to battle green Hulk
In his (slight) defense, Loeb did write Arnie’s Commando, and he has been recognized positively for his comic writing (he’s received four Eisner‘s and five Wizard Fan Awards). But let me get to the nitty-gritty…
Courtesy of the Onion News Network comes this gem. What I like best is the part where they’re mean to the kids…
In My Brain While Sleeping… A Costume I Never Would Have Thought Of While Awake
Blah blah blah subconscious something something weird dream… I met a man wearing this costume and when I inquired about it, he pulled granite from his pocket, placed it on the last stair and said:
"I'm Rock Bottom."
Drunken Recollection… Two Gorillas Are Better Than One
My cousin Steve and I have matching costumes. We debuted them last week at my brother’s party. It was a blast. The next day, I had another party to attend, but I opted to go as Hipster Jesus. Another gorilla was there, and my heart broke a little…
Musical Musings… How Do You Kill The Gill Man?
Is this a good song? No. But does the Monster Mash really deserve being the only Halloween song? (Not counting Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, of course.)
Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Did PB Max Get “Discontinued” For Peanut Butter Twix?
PB Max... PB Twix... hmm...
I loved PB Max almost instantly when it was released in 1990. It was the companion candy to the caramel Twix bars I’d eat everyday. (There was a 5¢ mail-in rebate deal on each wrapper, so I binged one summer, sent them all in, and received a $5 check 6-8 weeks later. You can do the math.)
Anysweettooth, seemingly as quickly as the candy burst on the scene, by th mid-90’s, it was gone. A couple more years passed and all-of-the-sudden there was a Peanut Butter Twix bar (and the original became Caramel Twix with a capital-C, as you candyC see).
Whatever happened to all the razor blades in apples and the kidnappings? The night’s supposed to be scary for kids. It’s like a PG-13 horror film these days.
Worth 1002 Words… My Old Halloween Costume Edition
Boxing Match
(lyrics to Halloween Survival Guide, you know, in case your ears aren’t working)
Smallville's Sam Jones & Big Brother's Adam Jasinski
I don't oxycodone the abuse of prescription medication.
Within 24 hours, it was announced that two former “tv stars” were picked up by the DEA in connection with buying and selling oxycodone AKA oxycontin AKA hillbilly heroin AKA Rush Limbaugh’s best friend.
Sam Jonesplayed young Superman’s best friend in the first three seasons of Smallville, and Adam Jasinski played “Baller” on the ninth season of Big Brother.
Jones was picked up in Los Angeles and had in his possession 10,000 pills; Jasinski was picked up North Reading, Massachusetts with 2000 pills, which he purchased with the half-million dollars he won on the summer long show.
What’s the connection that makes this a possible Coinkydink or a possible Coinkydonk?
The fact that they happened so close together, people. Isn’t that enough?
How weird is it that the DEA targeted two individuals selling hillbilly heroin in two different states with two different amounts in their possession? How weird is it that they were featured in two different shows on two different networks and that were opposite styles (sci-fi drama and reality)?
Jones could have been the Hollywood mastermind, a real-life villain if you will. And he used his connections to lure the champion Jasinski that just won $500,000 to distribute pills in a sorta small town.
Real-life villain… Superman meets reality tv… small town… North Reading like Smallville… the feds are watching… Big Brother has cameras everywhere… their last names both start with J… Jor-El is Superman’s father’s… Julie Chen hosted Big Brother… anything?
This post was originally going to be about my investigation into the ripping off of Bruce Hornsby (and the Range)’s Mandolin Rain (or is it Tupac’s Changes?) in Proactiv Acne Solutions’ commercials, but then I stumbled onto a greater conspiracy.
What do these young ladies’ have in common?
LiLo, KelCla, JeLoHew
They had stellar careers, booming out of nowhere, sky’s-the-limit…
Then they did Proactiv commercials.
How have they fared since?
LayLow - Kelly Clark Bar - Mrs. Jamie Kennedy?!
(SIDENOTE: You may have noticed Jessica Simpson was also in their commercials, but did she really ever have a career?)
My biggest concern of late is this cutie:
Julianne Hough of "Dancing With My Heart"
She’s been in Proactiv commercials, and although she’s well-known (?) amongst Dancing with the Stars, country music, and Juicy Fruit fans, I hope to see more from her in the entertainment world.
Ultimately, this comes down to whether or not I’m reading into this (Coinkydink) or I’m onto something (Coinkydonk).
Remember the Alamothe Titans that Coinkydink stands for Coincidence, and that Coinkydonk sits for On Purpose. Comprende?
"She's soy sauce, and I'm Worcestershire," Juno might say of Jennifer, apropos of nothing.
I feel like writer Diablo Cody is a kindred spirit. We’re both from the Midwest. We’re both Children of the 80’s. We’re both bloggers. We’re both screenwriters (I’m just not yet produced). And we’re both exhibitionists (she was a stripper; I enjoy walking around the mall in a long brown trench coat… that’s all I’m saying).
But of late, I noticed something about Ms. Cody’s produced works. So far she has three: Juno, Jennifer’s Body, and United States of Tara. And they all share something thematic in common.
Tara with her Id, Ego, and Superego
Let it be known, I was fortunate enough to see Juno before it became the Incredible Hype, and I was knocked a bit off my feet by its sentiment and reality, despite the strange language that filled the characters’ mouths at the get-go. I’m still not sure if the movie laid off the weird speak as the movie progressed, or if I got used to it (and who am I to knock weird speak… Coinkydink or Coinkydonk?), but I never held it against the flick.
Jennifer’s Body, on the other hand, felt like a misstep. There was a lot of potential for homages, over-the-top zaniness, and ironic parallels to real high school life that never came to fruition, but this film spurned my thought processes. Then I recalled her Showtime series, and it clicked:
All Diablo Cody’s characters are women dealing with things inside their bodies.
Juno – a baby
Jennifer – a succubus
Tara – multiple personalities
There’s an old adage about writing: “write what you know.” It’s not surprising (and it’s actually quite refreshing) that Ms. Cody’s scripts would center on female leads, but it is interesting to note the duality involved in each of the above characters, considering the duality of Ms. Cody herself (if that’s her real name). Until she inevitably directs and becomes a true auteur, we’re left to wonder how her adaptation of Sweet Valley High will end up, or her future original works.
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