A Handful Of

A Handful Of… Songs I Haven’t Heard In A While

Posted on by sgottahurt

This post begins a series of what should mostly reflect my recent trip to California.  My brother moved out there; I used to live out there.  I wouldn’t say that I missed being out there, so I’ll type it: I missed being out there.

For one, I love my 89x here in Michigan.  Well actually, Canada.  While out there, I forgot how much I enjoyed KROQ, and I was glad to find that its playlist hadn’t really changed.

Here are A Handful Of songs I haven’t heard in a while that I heard there:

  • Bad Religion’s Infected
  • White Town’s Your Woman
  • Stabbing Westward’s Save Yourself
  • Sneaker Pimps’ 6 Underground
  • Ming Tea’s BBC

(Okay… that last one I heard while at Universal Studios.)

A Handful Of… Fake Business Cards

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m letting Fernando Reza of Fro Design do the heavy lifting for me today.

Here’s A Handful Of business cards he made based on unforgettable corporate entities from TV and film.

Okay, here’s my one contribution… that somebody else did:

A Handful Of… Actors Acting Like They’re Singing Singers’ Songs

Posted on by sgottahurt

This little list occurred to me while I was drinking at lunch, and the video for Paul Simon’s You Can Call Me Al came on the telly.

It simultaneously made me think about other videos in which Actors! pretended to sing Artists! songs, and it made me happy that Chevy Chase is working again (Alison Brie and Community returns to NBC this fall).  Here are the ones I could think of.

Oh, and by the way… you can call me, Allison Brie!

  • Paul Simon’s You Can Call Me Al (featuring Chevy Chase)

  • Elton John’s I Want Love (featuring pre-Iron Man Robert Downey, Jr.)

  • Elton John’s This Train Don’t Stop There Anymore (featuring Justin Timberlake)

  • George Michael’s Freedom ’90 (featuring Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, pre-Pepsi commercial Cindy Crawford, Tatjana Patitz, and three male models I don’t care to mention… interestingly enough, this was directed by Fight Club helmer, David Fincher)
  • Fiona Apple’s Not About Love (featuring pre-everything Zach Galifianakis)
  • Milli Vanilli’s Blame It On the Rain (featuring Milli Vanilli)

(More Than) A Handful Of… Nameless Lead Characters In Movies

Posted on by sgottahurt

As a writer, one of the first things you do when starting a new story is come up with… a title.  Well not really, because that can happen last.  Actually, you come up with a narrative idea first, then the lead character’s name next.  One hopes to conjure up a moniker that would match what the imaginary protagonist would be like (if you’re a good writer).  Bella Swan?  Really?

Anywhoisthat, here are some of the more notable exceptions to the naming game.  I present to you (More Than) A Handful Of Nameless Lead Characters In Movies:

  • TOTALLY NAMELESS

The protagonists in these films don’t have a hint of a name.  The film credits don’t even give a clue.  Well, if you don’t count Nada, Doctor, Doctor’s Wife, Guy, Girl, XXXX, Man, Boy, and the second Mrs. de Winter as clues.

They Live - Blindness - Once - Layer Cake - The Road - Rebecca

  • NICKNAMED NAMELESS

Everyone in this group is referred to by a name other than their own.  Or at least we’re lead to assume this.  Even though the lead character is called Smith, Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock, Tallahassee, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Mr. Brown, Mr. Blue, Mr. Blonde, The Man With No Name, or El Mariachi, we never learn their real names.

Except for Wichita (Krista), Mr. Orange (Freddy Newandyke), Mr. White (Larry Dimmick), Mr. Blonde (Vic Vega), or The Man With No Name (Joe in A Fistful of Dollars, Monco in For a Few Dollars More, and Blondie in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly) that is.

Shoot 'Em Up - Zombieland - Reservoir Dogs - The Man With No Name Trilogy - Desperado

  • EVENTUALLY/ MAYBE/ KINDA NAMED NAMELESS

Sure, ten of the twelve jurors may happen to reveal their real names by the end of the film, Bill Paxton might be called “Dad” or “Mr. Meiks” throughout, Tyler Durden could actually be The Narrator’s name, and D-FENS is found out to be William Foster, but these movies are super bad-ass despite any ambiguity about the leads’ true identities.

12 Angry Men - Frailty - Fight Club - Falling Down

Oh, and one more thing.  His character is named Nameless:

Hero

A Handful Of… Michigan Artists That Are Cooler Than Mike Posner

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t like this guy.  At all.  My reason is to quickly follow.

The way he sings in a whisper makes me imagine a man holding his cat’s front paws and making it dance, while he cooed much to the feline’s dismay, “You think you’re cooler than me.”

Anymeow, Mike Posner is from Southfield, Michigan, and as much as I seek to support local performers making it big, this guy – not so much.

To be honest, I originally thought his name was Mike Poser, and in a way under that belief, I appreciated his irony.  Now he’s ironic in another way.

So here is A Handful Of local acts done good (not counting Motown, to make a point)… after the jump… Read More

A Handful Of… My All-Time Favorite Duets (Some Are Guilty Pleasures)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Peanut butter and jelly.  Peanut butter and chocolate.  Macaroni and cheese.  Chicken in a Biskit and Easy Cheese.

All better because of their combination.

Well I feel the same way about singers (when I’m not hungry).  Almost any song sung by a man and a woman is instantly superior to the solo acts.  Sure, some same-sex double-ups are equally improved, but today, I don’t feel like focusing on cheese and cheese (although that does sound appetizing).

In no particular order, I present my list of all-time favorite duets:

The Human League – Don’t You Want Me

(more after the jump) Read More

A Handful Of… Sort Of Obscure Films Watched Over And Over

Posted on by sgottahurt

They say youth is wasted on the youth.  Well I say, adulthood is a waste if adults aren’t wasted.  (See what I did there?)

Today I present to you A Handful Of flicks (as opposed to a fistful of punches) that I have seen way too many times growing up, wasting my youth as a youth.

  • Summer School (1987)

This movie lead to me discovering (what I consider) the greatest horror film of all time: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Without this film, it would have taken me longer to discover who Carl Reiner (the director and Rob’s dad) was, but it might have spared me from seeing Mark Harmon’s Worth Winning (going into my Netflix queue… right now).  Also, it may be a contender for starting the “dogs wearing sunglasses” genre of movie posters.

And not speaking of (big red) dogs, but of grown men portraying obnoxious children, there’s…

  • Clifford (1994)

Okay, I might not have been so young when I watched this film over and over and over again.  But I mean, come on!  Martin Short is playing a ten-year-old boy!  Hijinks and hilarity ensue!

Now back to dogs (and films made in 1987)…

  • Walk Like a Man (1987)

Howie Mandel – of America’s Got Talent, Deal or No Deal, Bobby’s World, Good Grief, and blowing up rubber gloves over his head – was raised by dogs.  ‘Nuff said.

  • Moving (1988)

Without this Richard Pryor vehicle, the world would never have met Stacey Dash (where has she been, by the way?)… but it would have also been spared Dana Carvey and Randy Quaid… moving on…

  • Cloak & Dagger (1984)

Elliott wasn’t good in this movie, E.T... Henry Thomas’ character shot and killed a bad guy in the end of this movie!  Try to fit something like that in the next Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakuel, Hollywood!

  • Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)

I’ve already professed my love for Amanda Peterson long ago on this site, so let’s leave it at that.  Well, that post and this quote:

There’s only one other titty, quite this pretty…

How’s this for a segue…

What can money buy, if not love?  Ho, ho, ho’s!

  • Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

This is the first movie I ever remember reading a review about.  I recall some comment about producer Alexander Salkind’s obsession with origin stories.  You see, this film dealt with Santa’s humble beginnings (unlike Tim Allen’s punderful The Santa Clause), and Salkind’s previous productions included The Three Musketeers (1973) and Superman (1978).  Three films = obsession, I guess.

And this last cinematic masterpiece just screams REMAKE WITH TRACY MORGAN!  (Not really…)

  • The Toy (1982)

As a youth, I didn’t waste time pondering the logistics of a film about a rich white man buying his spoiled son a black man as a toy… so why start now!

Onto being an adult, and getting wasted!

A Handful Of… Songs About Robots, Maybe

Posted on by sgottahurt

I lurve robots.  So much in fact, that at times when I’ve been in altered states, I’ve admitted that if I found out I was one, I wouldn’t be upset.  Because I wouldn’t have emotions, you see.

Anyweirdo, here are some songs I like because they’re about robots… I think:

Mr. Roboto – Styx

Machinehead – Bush

Who’s Johnny? – El Debarge

Paranoid Android – Radiohead

The Humans are Dead – The Flight of the Conchords

A Handful Of… Bad Rap Songs From Movies Still Stuck In My Head

Posted on by sgottahurt

I would never call myself a fan of any specific genre because, hey – if it’s good, it’s good.  If it’s catchy, it’s catchy.  If it’s kitschy, it’s kitschy.  This handful of soundtrack “rap” songs remain in my noggin to this very day… mostly filed under the kitschy label.

Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh – Spirit from Ghostbusters 2

Partners in Kryme – Turtle Power from – what else? – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

MC Hammer – Addams Groove from The Addams Family

Amanda Ingber (?) – Top That! from Teen Witch

This one isn’t really a rap song, but it still gets stuck in my head…

Shampoo – Trouble from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie

A Handful Of… Show’s Not Given A Fair Shake On TV (And “Too Bad It’s Cancelled” Lists)

Posted on by sgottahurt

This little list came to light courtesy of my pal Chris lamenting a few shows that have come to pass.  Two of them I had watched and whole-heartedly agreed with; one I had not watched but have since picked up on DVD for $14.99.

The one I will soon be watching: Life On Mars.  What’s there not to like about a cop getting hit by a car in 2008, waking up in 1973, and calling himself Luke Skywalker?  Add Harvey Keitel and bring to a hard-boiled pulp fiction.

Apparently I'm so out of the loop on this show, Rachel Lefevre and Colm Meaney (both on the right) never made it past the pilot.

The two I actually enjoyed quite a bit: Miss Guided and Kath & Kim.

Not pictured: Chris Parnell... He must have been at a viewing of "The Chronic-what!-cles of Narnia."

Miss Guided (not to be confused with Alicia Silverstone’s Miss Match) was about a high school counselor working at her alma mater with other former classmates.  That wasn’t used as a source of tomfoolery or chicanery; it just happened to be.  But they were entertaining characters in spite the “high-(school)-concept,” and I wish it couldn’t have been given more time.

Not pictured: dignity.

Kath & Kim was fairly unique for a couple of reasons:

  1. Its retro (?) gauche look.
  2. Its odd comic timing.
  3. It predates Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz’s new movie – Knight & Day – by two years.  (See… Kath’s last name is Day, and her beau’s last name is Knight.)
  4. I hate Selma Blair normally and I liked her on this show.

Though it took two episodes for me to get into this Australian remake, once I did, I appreciated the strange universe that Kath & Kim lived in.

It's like you don't know any of these people.

It’s Like, You Know… was another show that came to mind that never got a fair shake.  I watched it mainly because I was a fan of Chris Eigeman, king of the indie films I watched in college (most notably Kicking and Screaming – not the Will Ferrell version), and A.J. Langer (because she was cute).

It was about a guy (Eigeman) from New York that moved to Los Angeles and couldn’t get the lifestyle.  It premiered after I had moved back from L.A., so I had an extra appreciation for it maybe.  The best gag I remember from the show – nobody could recognize Jennifer Grey (who played herself) because she had a nose job.  It sounds mean, but it wasn’t.

"Yes, Dear," that is the second chick to babysit "Monk."

To me, this next show shares a distinct privilege with only one other show.  I must have watched the pilot for Boston Common more than five times before the next episode premiered (Pushing Daisies holds the paired seat).

What I remember enjoying so much about it was the perfect rhythm of its story mixed so well with natural humor. Anthony Clark was sincere (which was never attained ever on Yes, Dear); Traylor Howard was sassy (which she was able to showcase in the next show on my list, as well as Monk); and oh, I don’t know… it was charming.

Somebody lost count, apparently. And the pizza.

From the get-go of Two Guys and a Girl (née Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place), I knew Ryan Reynolds was going to be a big star.  It took a little longer than I expected (and a major workout regime), but I could tell his Chevy Chase-ish schtick was going to get him far.

This guy… I didn’t see it coming:

I guess he's not "that" big of a star... yet.

The last show in my A Handful of Show’s Not Given a Fair Shake on TV (and “Too Bad It’s Cancelled”) list is Stark Raving Mad, starring post-Wings Tony Shalhoub and post-Starship Troopers Neil Patrick Harris (you thought I was going to say say post-Doogie Howser, MD).

I was going to say I was stark, raving, mad this was cancelled, but I won't.

To think… if this show would have lasted, we may never have Adrian Monk and more importantly… Barney Stinson.

Beware of the Shelly Galezby area.