Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is A Thing Now, Too?

I’ve brought up cone-ing once before, but I had no idea that there would be an anti-movement against it.

If you’re unaware of what cone-ing is, it’s the process of buying an ice cream cone from McDonald’s and grabbing it by the ice cream.  It’s apparently become such an epidemic that the workers are striking back:

Here’s a more sampled collection of exchanges:

I guess if What’s Coming Out of Miley’s Vagina? can become a thing, anything’s possible:

"You ain't never had a friend like me..."

Right weirdo?

Drunken Recollection… Legally Declaring Idiots

monkeyBLOGmonkeyDUNCE

The in’s and the out’s leading up to the development of this, um, development are lost to me, but the concept is simple:

If you get caught doing something stupid, you could be legally declared an idiot.

Now keep this in mind – being legally declared an idiot isn’t the same as being a legal idiot.  There would be no governmental aid or outside assistance.  It’s meant to be more like a scarlet letter, or a dunce cap.  On your driver’s license, or any other permanent record, the word IDIOT would be branded next your name.  Anyone you would date or hire you would know that you’ve done at least one thing stupid.

So what kind of stupid things would get you legally declared an idiot?

  • hmm

I’ll leave this one up to the lawmakers…

…no need to make a fool (or an idiot) of myself.

But if you have ideas, leave a comment!

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Girl With The Drag-On Preview

I thought this preview was The Shit:

It really spoke volumes to me.  (Probably because it is a very loud preview in the theater.)  I’ve been a longtime fan of director David Fincher, and even with his misstep that was the ingratiating The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I had hopes that The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo could be good.

Until I saw this:

Boooooooooooorrrrrriiiinnnnnngggg…

If I wanted to read the book, I would have read the book.  This follow-up “explanatory” trailer has completely turned me off of the movie.  And that’s Just Shitty

Unofficial Trilogy… Man’s Mind Trilogy

This has been a topic I’ve intended to set up for a quite while now: a focus on the Unofficial Trilogy.  And since the majority of my posts tend to rally around music or TV, I wanted something that’s solely movie related, hence this.

On more than several occasions, I’ve seen three movies consecutively, or close enough to each other, that all tie into a similar theme.  To initiate this category, I will discuss the Man’s Mind Trilogy.

Look at how dark all those posters are.

Roger Dodger

Ladies… do you think men are pigs?  Are they born that way, or are they made?  That’s kind of the simplest breakdown of this film’s thesis.  It examines the effects of wanting/having/needing sex on the male mind, and how that gets passed down through the generations.  Campbell Scott plays uncle to Jesse Eisenberg, back when Jesse was just Hallie Eisenberg’s older brother, and not an Oscar-nominated Actor!  Who’s Hallie, you also ask?  Remember the Pepsi Girl commercials?

High Fidelity

Author Nick Hornby could have made this list twice (About a Boy was thisclose to making this trilogy), but this one is on here because it examines what men think about relationships.  Every aspect of relationships.  Before they’re in them.  While they’re in them.  Even the flickering relationship men have with the memories of their faded relationships.  And it takes place in a record store.  You know, because records is a metaphor for records, yo!

Fight Club

What does it mean to be a Man in the Modern World?  Fight Club certainly doesn’t pull any punches (ha!) when examining this question.  I won’t divulge the scope or the twist of this film because if you haven’t seen this somehow, I won’t be the one to ruin it.  But I have three parting words for you: duvet… and Bitch Tits.

In Defense Of… This Unlikely, Unlikable Couple

You may not know the names Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stoddard, but if you watch celebrity gossip shows, you know their faces:

This is marriage, with an emphasis on "age."

Yes, this is the happily wedded couple consisting of the 51-year-old Actor! and the 16- or 17-year-old Country Singer(?)!  Many uproarious reports have been filed and fed to the public, but I’m here to *ahem* defend them.

Why have I waited so long?  Basically, the bottom of the barrel has been scraped away, and they are what’s left.

To begin, I’m not going to get into any of the age junk; I’m more interested in the weirdness factor.  That’s the only thing I can defend.  They’re getting their own reality show, and it begs the question – is this what they’re all about?

Let’s examine other trainwrecks that have had their own reality shows:

In reality TV, their show would simply be a combination of The Real Housewives and Toddlers & Tiaras, and both of those are certifiable hits… and certifiable misses.

JusWondering… What Song Titles Would Make Really Good Movie Titles?

What do Roy Orbison, Neil Sedaka, and Phil Phillips all have in common, other than you probably have no idea who they are?

They have nothing to do with this movie, that's for sure.

Guessing that they’re all singers is the cheap answer; the real answer is that they’ve all had movies named after their songs: Phillips’ Sea of Love, Sedaka’s Calendar Girl, and Orbison’s Pretty Woman and Only the Lonely.  (I was going to add Huey Lewis and The News to that mix, but I don’t believe Jacob’s Ladder: The Movie was named after Jacob’s Ladder: The Song.)

So I started JusWondering, what other song titles could make good movie titles?

The year is 2053.  God is dead.  Only a handful of sentries can hold the world in balance, and they are… the Karma Police.

From the producers of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, here comes Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand… starring whoever is the next Jim Carrey in a serious role, or a twit Brit like Hugh Grant.

The long-awaited sequel to Al Pacino’s 1975 classic, Dog Day Afternoon.  Follow Sonny Wortzik’s life after prison, and Leon Shermer (Chris Sarandon) as a woman.

Look!  In the air!  Is it a bird?  Is it another flying animal that makes musical noises?  It’s Piano Man!

The video for this song is already like a movie:

(SIDENOTE: Did you know Ryan Gosling’s latest, Drive, is named after the Incubus song?  Did you know I made that up?)

Musical Musings… (Love)Sick Puppies

I really dig this song:

Initially, I thought this line was what did it for me:

You all hate your children/ They’re too fat to feed

But now, I’m beginning to realize I’ve been drawn in by the bass lines.  Namely, the bass player… Emma Anzai:

Creating this image made me feel like an obsessed fourteen year old fan. It was not pleasant. (It was.)

Considering the fact that the Sick Puppies hail from Australia, this means Emma Anzai is Australian (amazing, no?)… and I love their accents (probably due to Olivia Newton-John, but this is not her time and place).

This entire situation might explain my heightened interest in travelling down under…

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Sillydink Or Sillydonk?

Of course I know in reality, this is neither a Coinkydink or a Coinkydonk, but it’s fun nonetheless.

The first time I saw this preview, I thought it was brilliant… a throwback to previews of films from the 70’s edited in the style of Generation YouTube.  Here is the trailer for David Fincher’s upcoming The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo:

The first time I saw this preview moments ago, I thought it also was brilliant.  And green.  Definitely green…

A Handful Of… Different Kinds Of Different Kinds Of Love

Even muskrats do the dog.

Love is a lot like Santa Claus… they’re both fat, fond of red velvet with fuzzy white accents, and prefer to live where it’s ice-cold.  But maybe that’s just me.

I was originally just going to highlight strangle love types in songs, but then I couldn’t stop myself.  Aren’t you lucky?

Here’s A Handful Of Different Kinds Of Different Kinds Of Love (the asterisked songs I listened to a little longer than the rest):

  • STRANGE LOVE

puppy lovejungle loveradar love* – gun lovemuskrat love  – hula love

  • SPECIFIC LOVE

tainted lovedumb lovecrazy lovereal lovesecret lovetrue love – sweet lovecool lovetender love* – big lovesexy love

  • TIME-FRAME LOVE

endless love* – april lovebaby lovesummer loveyoung love

  • NO-THANK-YOU LOVE

burning love* – butta lovebleeding love

  • PERSONAL LOVE

your love* – my loveour love

  • WEED LOVE

higher love* – california love*

(a lot of these via)

InASense, Lost… The Scarlett Test

I am curious.

That’s the name of two Swedish films from the 60’s (Blue and Yellow were their distinctions), and they were controversial for being sexual and frank about being sexual.

This post is going to be kind of like that.  As you may or may not have heard, nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson have leaked onto the TripleDoubleU, and I’m going to share them here… embedded of course.

I am curious how many hits this post will get.  I will keep you posted in the comments.

Picture 1Picture 2

This photo is here because it was the next best thing:

Cool socks.

(via)