weird dream

In My Brain While Sleeping… Scarlett And Amber In The Same Dream?! Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Posted on by sgottahurt

I am enamored with Amber Heard:

The Gods Heard My Heart

And everyone loves Scarlett Johannson (except Ryan Reynolds, and maybe Sandra Bullock):

I should write her a Scarlett Letter...

Well, lucky me had a dream in which both of them appeared…

…except they only wanted to talk.

About the meaning of life.

In an abstract setting.

As they walked and discussed the infinite, the scene kept changing like a screensaver.  Or a Salvatore Dali painting:

Not cool, subconscious... not cool...

In My Brain While Sleeping… Priorities In Regard To Sharks And iPhones

Posted on by sgottahurt

This dream, I’m not proud of.

Family is supposed to come first.  Always.

All of us (whoever the us was at least included my brother and my mother) were staying at an island beach resort, sort of like this one:

Ah, it's like a screensaver.

But then, as it often happens in dreams, sharks appeared.  It was kind of like this:

(Not So) Artistic Representation

The sharks were of every variety, and they could also crawl on land!  Like some kind of fish/mammal hybrid.  (You’d think there was a word for some kind of creature that could exist on land and in the sea…)

A great white shark cornered my brother.  It clamped down on his leg as he kicked at it and started dragging him away like an alligator would.  My mother screamed for me to help him, which I immediately did – until I stopped myself.  I hurried back inside to put this on the counter:

Yup. My brand new iPhone 4S.

I ultimately caught up to the shark before he could reach the water and saved my brother.  So win-win.

(SIDENOTE: For the record, I called to apologize to my brother the next day.)

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Future Of The Marvel Universe

Posted on by sgottahurt

After waking from this dream, I thought:

Cool.

It was the future in the Marvel Universe, and the Milky Way Galaxy was no longer known as that – it was now the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Be sure to visit the planet of Compton.

The heroes were wanted dead by their enemies, more than usual, so they placed themselves in giant cosmic cube (not the Cosmic Cube) in space, away from Earth.  In fact, Earth was hidden in between folds of time.  The Sentry was the hero in charge, and if you never heard of him, barely have I.  (I don’t know how he ended up in my dream.)

Guess who this is?

Fed up with holing themselves up, a nearly invincible hero (Wolverine?) that has lived for 1000 years wants to rally against the forces keeping the heroes trapped in the cube.

He asks the leaders (including The Sentry) to reinstate the last wave of Iron Men (they’ve all been mechanical for a while now).

The Sentry is the only one to see the light, so he allows the mission.

This is the point when a phone call woke me up.  So I should have mentioned my full statement:

Cool.

Fuck.

In My Brain While Sleeping… A New Sport

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ll admit – I’ve had some stinkers of ideas in my sleep, and I’ve had some brilliant money makers.

This dream idea might fall somewhere in the middle.

Basically, the premise of this new sport was this:

Soccer meets parkour

The game would be played in public areas – the more crowded the better.  And the goals would be random things, like knock over this, or break that.

Here’s an example I’ve created that takes place at a comic book convention:

(Not Too Shabby) Artistic Representation

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention the name of the game:

OBSTICCER

(or OBSTOOTBALL in every other country)

In My Brain While Sleeping… Goodman & Upton (Is Not A Law Firm)

Posted on by sgottahurt

No, in this odd dream, Goodman & Upton were a Hollywood power couple.

I was hired to get to the bottom of their relationship, so I broke into this guy’s house:

Yeah, the Goodman was John.

To find out how he was able to date this hottie:

The Upton was Victoria's Secret model, Kate.

The dream kind of reminded me of a less-funny, more infuriating (out of pure jealousy) version of this video:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Oh, Britain And Ye Ol’ Fashioned Ways

Posted on by sgottahurt

There was another part to this mental madness involving President Obama being a superhero and that being the reason  he was too busy to get any bigger issues fixed (it’s hard to repair the economy or create jobs if you’re saving babies and rescuing kittens in trees, I guess).

Otherwise, the concept of this dream was simple: I was in the U.K. and they were still quite fond of VHS.  It was the preferred format over DVD and digital copies.  There was a supermarket filled to the brim with the latest releases in the outdated form.

If this was actually the case, this would be a clam shell case you’d see there this week:

How big is that tape if it contains both versions of the film?

(SIDENOTE: Also, how cool is this?)

In My Brain While Sleeping… Toy Story 4

Posted on by sgottahurt

Could it be true?  A real Toy Story 4?  I wonder if it will be anywhere as existential as this dream I had.

To start, all of the beloved characters from all three movies were all together in a store in their original packaging.

Kinda like this. Or exactly.

What became apparent was that all of the Buzz Lightyears were not alive, but only one.  This was the same with the whole gang.  As they worked on escaping their prisons, they soon realized their spirits could shift from one figure to the next.

Kinda like this. Or exactly.

Tim Allen made a guest appearance at this point to explain things to them.

Exactly not like this.

This is along the lines of what he said:

Your souls are not restricted to just the action figures or dolls that you are.  You can take over any form of yourself.

So then they all transferred their spirits to the balloons bearing their likenesses.  Tim Allen was gracious enough to take all their balloons through the front door and let them roam free.  Buzz asked to be held onto a moment longer to share a special goodbye.

Buzz: So this is it?

Tim: Yes, Buzz.  It’s time to go.

Buzz: Okay, Tim.  To infinity…

Tim: …and beyond.

Then he let the balloon go.  But the dream didn’t end there.

My “brain-camera” pulled back into the store and shifted over to another aisle.

The aisle with Transformers, G.I. Joe, and Star Wars.

And they were alive, too.

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Rise Of McLovin

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve only seen Superbad once.  That was when it came out on DVD, and I haven’t seen it since.

I’ve never watched the new Rambo.  In fact, I think I’ve only taken in the ill-titled Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III.

Then why did I dream about an adventure story featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse as this guy:

Good for beer purchases everywhere but Hawaii.

Except he looked more like this:

Superbadass

Regardless, the man saved my life.

And I won’t ever get to thank him.

INGREDIENTS: Five 20 oz. Miller Lites followed up by small curd cottage cheese.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Will And Kate… And Me

Posted on by sgottahurt

What a weird dream.  Extra weird as weird dreams go.  (Don’t I always say that?)

It’s not like this dream occurred anytime around their wedding either, but… ugh… I dreamed I was friends with Prince William.  Apparently, I had met him years ago while on vacation in Las Vegas, and he thought I was a class act and a bloody riot, which is a good thing I guess.

We had lost touch over the years, but as his wedding to Kate Middleton approached, he started bring me around more:

Us all in England... somewhere...

It was all part of the build-up to him asking me to be his best man.  He wanted me to give a speech and everything.  Kate so enjoyed my company, she asked me to be her best man, too.  The cropped picture from their wedding website can be viewed here, but this is the original full-sized (although still bleached-out) photo:

They really got a kick out of my full beard and Red Wings hat, so they begged me to keep it for this portrait.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Sudden Impact! The (Non-Dirty Harry) Movie

Posted on by sgottahurt

I wish this dream was a bit more straightforward, à la Clint Eastwood’s fourth Dirty Harry movie, Sudden Impact, but it’s not.  I awakened from it, distinctly remembering the name of the movie-in-my-mind was Sudden Impact!, but the plot and story were a little lacking.

It was one of those subconscious jumbles of flicks I hadn’t seen in a long time, or never.  It’s still so vivid in my brain pan that I could try to explain it to you, but it can’t be conveyed with any amount of clarity, so I’ll just make a stew of the images.

You can make up the story yourself.

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(SIDENOTE: The story was essentially this… Michael Pare was the tough guy at a college campus, and the nerd from Troll 2 was his roommate in a frat house like in Real Genius.  The nerd invented this pink slime that he could put on his head to make him popular, or something, but his soul ended up leaving his body and going into the slime.  So next, as the slime, he moved onto the sorority house and took the souls of girls in their shower room.  Upon finding all this out, Michael Pare took the pink slime onto himself and he jumped out the window to his death, like in The Exorcist.  The splat at the bottom was his – wait for it – Sudden Impact!)