The Silver Lining… The Heart Hand Gesture

The HeartMark™ is trademarked?!

Trends.

They’re always stupid.  Pet rocks, sequenced gloves, pogs… and now this.  The inescapable heart hand gesture.  It’s everywhere.

Aeroswift™

But would you believe some lady “claims” to have the trademark on it?

This lady looks like she makes many "claims"...

She even licenses it out allegedly (although it just looks like she just made a list of places she’s seen it used and retroactively authorized it).

(SIDENOTE: Did she donate the gesture to Show Your Hearts?  It could be a tax write-off.)

My hope is that it actually is trademarked, and that she’s making bank on its pervasiveness.

I mean, what she claims is not impossible.  She could figured it out during a round of This is the church and this is the steeple gone bad.  I haven’t seen it in use until recent years, and it seems like a simple gesture to devise.

But was she the one who told Taylor Swift about it?  Because Swift claims she invented it, and her fans claim that Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, et. al. stole it from her.

All that matters is did this woman really trademark what she calls The HeartMark™?  Because I have an idea of my own:

My trademark... Deez Nuts™.

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Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? One Taylor Swift Headlight

Okay.  Get this.

I was driving to pick my buddy up at his new place the other day, and I found myself daydreaming as I was passing through a well-known speed trap.  I’ve trained my eyes to catch cops by the side of the road, and this occasion was no different, hence my rapid deceleration.  By the time, I looked at my speedometer, it was reading 53, 52, 51…

I was in a 45 MPH zone, and I knew I was going way faster than I should.  I’ll pulled quickly onto the angled embankment between the bridge and the freeway entrance below it.  My hands were displayed promptly empty out the window as the officer approached the passenger side.

I rolled the window down on that side and placed my hands on the steering wheel.  He said,

This your ride?

I answered, “It’s mine.”

Can I see your license?

I answered, “I was waiting to get it safely.”  It was then I dug out my wallet.

You were going 58 in a 45.  How’s your driving record?

I told him it was good, even though it wasn’t long ago I was pulled over for something*.

Then I’ll take care of you.

I ended up getting an impeding traffic ticket which still costs $116, but… no points.

Ah, the part I’ve dreaded.  I was daydreaming, listening to this song:

I was trying to figure out the line:

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter

Because this later line confused me:

I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter

I thought all the choruses went that way, but it was only the last one that “the boy” is singing to her.

Nonetheless, what makes this a Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? is that (My Boss) Paul pointed out that the cadence (which also happens to be his daughter’s name) is Taylor Swift’s Mine is almost the same as The Wallflowers’ One Headlight:

*That something I was pulled over for… I only had one headlight.

JusWondering… Can Taylor Swift Pull Off Santa Baby?

Taylor Swift could be called America’s sweetheart (as opposed to America’s sweatheart, Tom Arnold).  So why in the world would she try to perform a sexy, seductive song about a spoiled gold digger?  Take a listen to her version of Santa Baby:

What does the expert on gold diggers have to say about that?

Eartha Kitt played Catwoman, for Christ’s Santa’s sake!

Some other notable, not-so-wholesome women artists that have covered this song:

  • Madonna
  • Shakira
  • Macy Gray
  • Natalie Merchant
  • Faith Evans
  • Kylie Minogue
  • The Pussycat Dolls
  • Kellie Pickler
  • LeAnn Rhimes
  • Mae West
  • Miss Piggy
  • RuPaul
  • Everclear

My favorite, of course, is this version.

Musical Musings… So Wait, What’s Better? Being 2 Or 1?

Sugar and Spices, not in that order

When bouncing between radio stations like I do, the mind wanders along with the melodies.  Sometimes the music is anthemic; sometimes it’s depressing.  At other times, it’s flat-out confusing.

For instance, Taylor Swift (and Boys Like Girls) have a new(er) song out called Two is Better Than One (click on highlighted song titles to watch the videos).  In this song, they say that, duh, being two is better than one.

And here I thought couples were supposed to become a singular entity?  At least that’s what the Spice Girls taught me with their song 2 Become 1 (shouldn’t it be “2 B3cm 1“?)

Singer/songwriter/crooked teeth-haver Jewel stated the same thing with her 2 B3cm 1, I mean, 2 Become 1.

U2 proclaimed that Two Hearts Beat as One, and they’re not alone in that sentiment.  Long ago, Stacey Q agreed that Two of Hearts should beat as one, and Phil Collins even crooned that Two Hearts are best when they’re believing in just one, um, mind.

What about when there are more than two hearts?  Ask Feist and Plain White T’s about 1234?

Village People 2K10

SIDENOTE: Weezer might agree with Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift because they sing I Want You Two… oh, it’s I Want You To.  Well, then what about in their ditty Can’t Stop Partying?

In that tune, Lil Wayne (ugh) makes an appearance and auto-tune (ugh) raps:

Party like tomorrow is my funeral
Gotta stop mixing alcohol with pharmaceuticals
And the unusual is the fucking usual
Man, my life is beautiful and my girls are mutual

The key word there is mutual.  What does he mean by saying that?

The definition of mutual is this:

  1. (a.) Reciprocally acting or related; reciprocally receiving and giving; reciprocally given and received; reciprocal; interchanged; as, a mutual love, advantage, assistance, aversion, etc.
  2. (a.) Possessed, experienced, or done by two or more persons or things at the same time; common; joint; as, mutual happiness; a mutual effort.

So see?  Weezer via Lil Wayne agree that two is better than one.

finis

Musical Musings… Taylor Swift Nails/Burns/Stakes Kristen Stewart

This past weekend marked the adorable debut of Taylor Swift as a certifiable triple-threat (singer, songwriter, and Actor!) on Saturday Night Live.  (It’s the singer/songwriter part that makes this a valid Musical MusingClick here to hear the funny – and honest – song she wrote for her monologue.)

Overall, I think she did great.  And I’ll admit – I may be biased.  (ProofMore proof.)  But given the material they wrote for her, you can’t deny that she has talent.

By far, this Digital Short took the strawberry cake.  (And it’s all over the web already… late start on my part.)  Check how her impression of Kristen Stewart stacks up by watching both videos below.  If you want to see the entire SNL episode, you’re a dummy for missing it live you must have a life on Saturday nights head on over to Hulu.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
Vodpod videos no longer available.

Musical Musings… Taylor Swift’s Sk8r Boi

taylor-swift

Taylor Made In Heaven

I might be setting myself up for ridicule here, but I sure do enjoy the lilting voice of Taylor Swift.  (I’ve talked about her before, and thus handed in my man card.)

I enjoy women singers in general, but the ones that write their own material… they really get through to me.  My stonewalled heart crumbles for these ladies, so go ahead and pick away while my guards are down.

On that note (pun!), allow me to get to my latest musing…

While watching the music video for Taylor’s new song, You Belong With Me, I was reminded of another (though not-quite-as-lilting) songstress… Avril Lavigne.  Namely, her tune Sk8r Boi kickflipped into my brain. 

Both songs deal with the same idea of a guy with the wrong girl and the right girl is right in front of you, but at second glance (the visual as opposed to the aural), I was reminded moreso of a different diddy: Girlfriend (which in turn ripped off the Rubinoos’ I Want To Be Your Boyfriend, but I digress).

Both videos feature multiple performances by the singer with different colored hairstyles, and in each video, their alter egos fight over a boy.  (Christina Aguilera did the same thing in her Candyman video, as did Britney Spears in Toxic, although they weren’t competing with themselves.  I think Mariah Carey did it once, too, but that’s where I’m drawing my line of research.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is two things:

  1. I like Taylor Swift’s version of the age old, um, video (because she’s cute).
  2. I’m changing my desktop background to this (because she’s cute):
youbelongwithmonkey

Didn't intend for this image to be so creepy...

sk8rmunki

"I said C U L8R, Avril..." - sk8rmunki (my old desktop background)

Happy Find… Mad Xzibs

This may give Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling! a run for the money, and kick Heck Yeah! Taylor Swift! to the curb (please don’t touch her… she’s an angel).

It’s called Mad Xzibs, and it goes a little something like this:

SUP DAWG, WE HEARD YOU LIKE(D) ______, SO WE _______ ______ IN THE _______ (SO YOU CAN ______ WHILE YOU _____).

I guess it’s been around for awhile, so much so that there’s a controversy over using “SUP DAWG” and “YO DAWG,” but I just found about it from an old Urlesque article, so here it is.  These are two of a few that cracked me up.  The Urlesque page is the better of the two since its condensed, but the Encyclopedia Dramatica article is not without its humor in explaining more of the history.

A few of my favorites:

Alvin Joiner & Xzibit

xzibit

xzibitannefrank