pet peeves

Awful Battle…. Pet Peeves, As Demonstrated By Pets

Posted on by sgottahurt

I haven’t tried being “clever” in a while, so why start now.  I’ve been meaning to compose this list for quite some time (so long that one of them isn’t as much of a concern anymore), so without further adieu, here’s my Awful Battle of some of my biggest pet peeves, as demonstrated by pets:

  • Glass bottles left  in parking lots…

He had a ruff night.

…really drive me up the wall.  I’m not a fan of pollution in general, but empty beer and juice bottles are the worst.  Even though I’m not too sure modern bottles can puncture modern tires.

  • Tailgating and braking too close…

The carriage bumper sticker reads, "If you can read this, you're a smart ass."

…is not only dangerous, it’s stupid.  Especially if there are other lanes.  Get in the other lane!

  • No hand washing after a bathroom break…

Cat-astrophe!

…is disgusting.  Anyone that argues otherwise… is disgusting.

  • Smoking under table…

Coincidentally, this dog's name is Doobie.

…luckily doesn’t happen any more, at least in Michigan.  This was my old puff peeve, but since there’s no smoking in bars, I don’t have to worry about super-smelly jeans anymore.

  • Different gas prices for cash and credit…

Polly wants a fucking break.

…and having to enter zip codes could be called my pump peeves.  Sorry.  This Awful Battle is almost over…

  • Girls that wear pajama pants and snow shoes at bar…

I can't stay mad anymore.

…awwwww, this one doesn’t bother me as much for now.  Ask me again in the winter.

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… Pet Peeves At Work

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s that time again (a whole four days later), when Paul, my current boss and for-some-reason friend, blackmails me into posting top five lists for him.  It’s punishment because I blog on the job.  So here it goes:

Paul’s Top Five Pet Peeves @ Work [Ed. – @ instead of “at”… y’know, since we’re an IT firm]

1) People that don’t wash their hands after using the public restroom [Ed. – As opposed to the private restroom?]

2) Habitual misspelling and improper capitalization [Ed. – Friend/coworker Chris is natorius for This]

3) Firms with partners names in them [Ed. – Plenty of law firms with plenty of egos in our building]

4) People that choose the middle of three stalls when the end ones are empty [Ed. – Guess where Paul tends to be when we need him… it’s not the center stall]

5) People that use the elevator to go up or down one floor [Ed. – Hey sometimes after a night of basketball and soccer, a person gets tired.]

JusWondering… My Owl Irks

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hooters, The Restaurant, much like The Owl it’s “based” on, is here to stay.  (Well, I guess it depends on which owl species, but I digress.)

Also like The Owl, The Restaurant isn’t as cool as it used to be.  “Hey look!  That owl can turn his head all the way around, almost!”

Upon my recent visit, it occurred to me why I don’t go there as often as I had in my youth.  (Okay, it happened to be my second visit this week.  We went for a “change of pace” on Monday, and they informed us that Thursday was Buy One Boneless Wing Get One Free Day, and that Friday everyone was dressing up for Halloween…  I’ll let you know how it goes.)

Anywow, the reason Hooters has lost its luster, for me at least, is the gimmicky things that they still insist on doing.  My Pet Peeves AKA My Owl Irks are as follows:

1) Ladies, don’t write your name on the napkins.  Don’t sign it with a heart.  Don’t googily goo it up with your real name and your nickname.  You can do this on the receipt, though.  It doesn’t affect me the same.
 
2) Shit-can the birthday song.  Unless it’s for a twelve year old boy (“Hey look!  That owl tried to scoop up that wiener dog cuz he thought it was a squirrel!”), this routine simply puts a spotlight on the biggest douche-bag in the restaurant.  The only other exception – friends trying to embarrass a buddy.

3) I can open my own containers.  Be it A-1 Steak Sauce or a tub of ranch, I can handle unscrewing and ripping just fine.  I often unscrew by myself and rip ones at home – wait, that doesn’t sound right.

4) The ketchup faces must stop.  Stop.  Seriously.  Explaining that the face is “hungover” helps no one keep their dignity.

5) If I want merchandise, I will ask you.  Isn’t it enough you talked me into curly fries?  What am I made of – money?  The calendar’s on sale, you say… And there’s not a single house pet?

6) Hula hooping your boredom away makes me bored.  How about sword fighting?  Perchance arm-wrestling?  Maybe arm-wrestling with oil in a pool with full body contact?

7) We’re not buying that you like us if you sit with us.  I do buy that you like me if you feed me a french fry.  (This happened to me once… I had no follow up so nyeh.)

8) You charged me for a potato salad that’s your lunch?   Well, there goes $1 off your 30% tip.