There was a group of us… sixteen or so. We were on vacation in Europe. The group was comprised of mostly friends, some family… and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
As I was trying to organize who would ride in what vehicles (we had four four-seaters… green Volvos, they seemed to be), I noticed Brad and Angie were nowhere to be seen.
“They’re still inside unpacking,” someone informed me. I still hadn’t met them, and though I was excited to, I knew we’d be introduced at our final destination.
So the group divvied up. My cousin Liz’s car got Brangelina. And we each took off on our own accord (in green Volvos, not Accords).
Upon reaching our final destination, the bulk of the group was antsy to go in. There was no sign of Liz’s car, so I offered to be polite and wait, while the rest of the group entered the underwater horse racing track.
When the last car arrived, I introduced myself to the superstar pair. I played it sooo cool. My cousin and her fiance Sam were itching to place some bets and they hurried in. That’s when Mr. and Mrs. Smith let me in on a little secret:
“We’re here to save a horse.”
I knew the security was going to be tight around the animals, so I cautioned them.
“We already have some people inside.”
Were they talking about “my people?” My people couldn’t even figure out driving arrangements without me.
“That’s why we need you.”
Somehow, we fashion some alternate method to get into the underwater dome (see SIDENOTE below), and we finally make our way to the carriage house. A horse with a broken leg awaits its execution.
“With all the technology we have, why can’t we fix this travesty?”
Suddenly, Brangelina’s brood appears, and it dawns on me. They’re the “people inside.” The children work together to pickup the horse – their combined strength amazes me.
As the family makes it to their escape vessel to escape, one question remains: how did the kids get down there? And how are they so strong? (Okay, so it’s two questions.)
Angelina smiles. She let’s Brad answer, “Why do you think they’re named the way they are?”
As they disappear up to the surface, I contemplate Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox. It finally hits me: they’re robots!
(SIDENOTE: The equipment we built to get underwater was out of giant Legos. Blame it on “Lego Batman: The Videogame” again.)
INGREDIENTS: Half a bag of Chips Ahoy!, some Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy Vanilla frosting, a couple glasses of organic milk, a chunk of Velveeta cheese, and a 24 oz. Mt. Dew
(Really, is that all I ate yesterday!?)