That’s something Heather might have said if she was a talking doll. Instead, she’s a radio-controlled Southern Belle that’s also available as a six mode blushing bride drifter.
The girls hug her! The boys race her!
And she has a tornado of power under her dress, for Pabst’s sake!
I wouldn’t exactly say that I’ve been around the block (although technically, as a child, I rode my bike around the block a ton… I don’t know what I want this metaphor to mean!).
Let me begin instead with this: I’m for all intents and purposes (or is it “intensive purposes?”)…
I’m a bar frequenter. An aficionado of affordable alcohol. If you have drink specials, considered a seat filled. It’s been this way for me for quite awhile, as I haven’t been tied down by much of anything. Tumbling tumbleweed is how I often refer to my life.
It’s better than swallowing goldfish when drunk. Barely.
Apparently, this is not a new practice either. It (seems to have) started back in Utah, as long ago as 2004 (whooohoooo), and it’s been a subject of controversy since it’s inception. A press release by the Humane Society:
Words, words, words...
There are a few styles practiced. There’s the squirt gun style, as seen in the above video. Some people use straws, and they blow above or below the water, depending on the arena. And of course, some guy in Japan’s turned it into an art form… not unlike NASCAR:
Why do I bring this all up, you ask? As we were leaving one of the bars I frequent, a friend mentioned he saw a sign saying something about goldfish racing. I laughed and thought he was making it up, yet here’s this post.