Fall Out Boy Should Have Pulled Out Quicker

No, they named him Mowgli, not Mogwai...

No, they named him Mowgli, not Mogwai...

Guinness World Record-breaker, Pete Wentz, and coattail-rider turned family meal-ticket, Ashlee Simpson (I almost spelled it Ashley… heavenstamergatroid!), have given birth to something they named Bronx Mowgli Wentz.

There’s one of two ways I can go with this, so I’ll go with both.

  1. People can type Bronx Mowgli Wentz to test their typewriter.  Ha!  Y’know… like The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.  No… um… then how about…
  2. Bronx Mowgli Wentz?  That’s an anagram of what Pete likes to do when he’s in Germany – Blow Next Zing Worm.  Hey-o!

Ah, whatever.  Congrats you two (because I know in my heart of hearts they are going to find this little blog and be heartbroken if I don’t say so)… and also, please stop reproducing!

A Pathname Less Traveled Is Less Traveled For A Reason

So let me get this straight... you cannot even drink beer?

So let me get this straight... you cannot even drink beer?

You know what… I’m kind of digging this blog thing.  I’m thinking about asking my site if she wants to go steady.  I already have the promise ring, and my letter sweater is sure to keep her warm on cold nights when we go walking in the moonlight, my arm over her shoulder, my hand feeling her up.  And I’m serious about it too.  How can I prove it?  These are some sites I wanted to start, but I’m cutting off communication with them immediately, even though I heard they do put out on the first post:

Site: DiatribalDance.com
Slogan: Another Way of Saying Hissy Fit
Purpose: An outlet to bitch and moan about things other people quite frankly could care less about. I’ve decided that’s what this site is for.  And I’m sure you could care less.

Site: AppleJuiceStains.com
Slogan: Porn Reviews In Fifteen Minute Intervals
Purpose: To make money… and have an excuse for watching a ton of porn.  The reason why I abandoned this concept is simple – I didn’t want to embark down that path.  That path being having to watch the entire DVD.

Site: NoonAtNight.com
Slogan: Munching at Midnight like a Mischievous Mogwai
Purpose: Who the hell knows?  But isn’t Gizmo so cute?