InASense, Lost… Johnny 5? More Like Johnny Zero…

Back when Short Circuit 2 was released on VHS circa 1989, I had a vision.  As the movie ended, and Johnny 5 jumped for joy at becoming an American citizen (this did happen), I paused it.  I ran to my bedroom closet and dug out my Lego’s.  And I built.

For quite some time, this has been my pride and joy (it made my Fact Sheet for sheet’s sake)… a (non-gold plated) Johnny 5 replica:

I felt alive!

But now… now I’ve seen this:

I feel... lowly...

(more pics here)

Should I feel bad?

I was fourteen at the time, and I always planned on returning to the project.  I wanted to coordinate the colors better; I wanted to draw out the details to replicate the model; I was beginning to write a program in BASIC that would help me document those details.

So yes, I should feel bad.  All the coolest things I’ve done in my life were when I was a kid.  Before I drank beer.  This blog should be proof of that.  I think I’m going to go to bed now.  Perhaps I’ll have a bit of beer beforehand…

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In My Brain While Sleeping… Tweaking Existing Toylines

Those that claim to know me might say that I’m a child at heart.  Those that really know me would call me an overgrown child.  According to my subconscious, I have the mind of a child.  I prefer to say I’m living the 13 year-old me’s dream…

This set of dreams involved a pair of toy collections that I’ve previously mentioned on this post, but were sort of blended together.  It was the Lego Batman video game, and though I haven’t played it in a while, that did not prevent me from dreaming that there was a Batman toy collection that was kind of like a model train town set (Exhibit A) and a bit like Playmobil (Exhibit B).

Tiny figurines representing each of the characters could be purchased, as well as scenery components, and you could assemble a miniature Gotham City similar to Exhibit C.  I guess there’s a toy line called Imaginext that’s kind of like what I envisioned (Exhibit D), but I still imagine(xt) something much darker…

Where the other half of the Lego Batman connection ends up has nothing to do with a Lego town (Exhibit E).  It’s more like the Marvel Legends action figure collection (Exhibit F).  Every Lego set you purchased could be put together (or should I say combined because of course Lego sets are put together) with other Lego sets to make bigger predisposed items.  Again, not like Exhibit E, but like how Galactus is assembled in Exhibit F.

You see, Galactus’ head comes with Professor X, and other pieces of him are packaged along with five other figures in that series.  So if you buy all six figures, you can make Galactus.  That’s how the Lego sets worked…

Never mind.

You’re adults… you don’t understand.

Drunken Recollection… Shopping At Target As A Morality Play

Seven seasons of septegenerian heaven

Seven seasons of septuagenarian heaven

If there’s anything I’ve learned in this life, it’s two things:

1) Don’t shop while hungry tipsy.

The second one I’ll share at the end.

Basically, I met up with some friends for a couple of drinks after work and opted to stop at Target because I needed a few things.  Those few things needed:

  • Laundry detergent
  • Vitamins and fish oil pills
  • Air conditioner air filters
  • Um… Charmin
  • And some food

On the way into the store, I noticed someone had left their headlights on.  I memorized the license plate and approached the cart guy outside the store.  He told me to head to the customer guest service desk, where this happened:

Me: Excuse me, but someone left their headlights on in the parking lot.
Worker: They’ll probably just turn off themselves.
Me: I don’t think so.  It’s an old green Escort parked in a handicapped spot.
Worker: I’ll get to it when the line is clear.
(I wandered off to look at the sales ad in case the worker wanted more information.)
Random lady (leaving): You were very nice for doing that.
Me: Well thank you.

Me Just Grim...

Me Just Grim...

Feeling victorious and uplifted, I made my way to the toy section first.  No real reason why, other than force of (forcive?) habit… of collecting.  Being in between a series of collectibles to search for, I’ve often eyed the animated Transformers toy line, and upon finally hearing the worker announce the Escort parked in a handicapped spot with its headlights on, I picked up a mini-Grimlock.  No essentials yet.  Just a small child’s toy.

I rounded the corner into the Lego aisle and what did I see?  Brand new Indiana Jones playsets.  Say what you will (and I have) about the last movie, the playsets from Raiders, Temple of Doom, and Last Crusade are pretty sweet, and in my hands in an instant (Ambush in Cairo almost made the cut).

Deflated and defeated, I put back everything but Grimlock and walked over to the electronics section.  Guess what I discovered there?

Every season of Golden Girls for $9 each!

I had a similar impulse a few weeks ago when the first four seasons of Saturday Night Live was on sale for $20 each, but this one I’d follow through.  Several weekends in September are about to be booked up.  Mjusayn.

I eventually gathered up my remaining essentials, plus a ton of food.  (Yay! Hard salami‘s back at Target!  For now…)  I put the bottle of Gain laundry detergent and a bottle of Liquid Plumr (‘cuz you never know) on the bottom of the cart, and a thought crossed my mind:

I wonder if someone will check the bottom of the cart…

At the checkout counter, the clerk brought something to everyone’s attention:

Somebody really must like Golden Girls.

I emptied the basket and pushed it forward to refill it with bagged items.  I noticed I had slipped the Gain and Liquid Plumr past the clerk.  I looked back into the eyes of the people that laughed at my must really liking Golden Girls, and a voice echoed in my head:

You were very nice for doing that.

I removed the two jugs from off the lower tray.  “I almost forgot something.”

After paying, I headed to my vehicle, past where an Escort with a dead battery could have been.  As I filled my trunk with purchases, the cart attendant approached to help.  I said thanks, and he nodded as he took the cart to add it to the returning basket train.

Finis.

Oh yeah, and the other thing I learned:

2) Don’t assume your friends ordered whatever beer was
on special, because it just might be regularly priced.

Happy (Geeky) Find… Turk As Lando? Yes, Please!

On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that!  He has an even better idea for a new movie…

Via Star Wars Blog:

It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring Donald Faison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Happy Geek Find…“, posted with vodpod

 

BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy.  I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… 80’s Toy Commercial Songs

It’s about that time for another list from my boss, and long time on-again, off-again friend, Paul.  How do I know it’s time?  Because he told me so.

Top 5 80’s Toy Commercial Songs (Non-TV Show)

5) Madballs – Freaky fun for everyone.  I had one or two of these. [I had the mummy one.  I also collected the comics. Why they had a comic is beyond me.  Why I collected them is even farther out. – Ed.]

4) Toys R Us– Just like the song said… I didn’t want to grow up, either.  Some people, like this blog’s owner, never have.  [Damn skippy. – Ed.]

3) Skip It – A shoddy toy, but a cool song. [The counter on the ball is analog.  Totally worth watching the vid simply for that. – Ed.]

2) Lego – Like Zack, we were all Lego Maniacs back in the 80’s.  [Since I’ve never grown up, I’m still a Lego Maniac.  – Ed.]

1) My Buddy – My brother, Bert, had one.  Not sure what happened to it.  Not a big fan of the toy, but the song is so catchy that I find myself singing it to my two year old son, Logan.  I call him “my buddy.”  Pause for the awwwws[My eyes are still rolling which makes it tough to type. – Ed.]

Okay, for the real one, click here.

Here’s Some Tasty Competition, Taco Bell! (I Still <3 U)

La Shish kabob-bye!

La Shish kabob-bye!

I always pass closed La Shish restaurants in my travels, and it makes me sad that shady underpinnings (a euphemism for alleged terrorist funding if there ever was one) forced them to go, um, under.  Although I’d eaten at one of the original restaurants more than once (I assume that either of the Michigan Avenue locations in Dearborn was the first), I always thought it would be great that a local Arab cuisine could go national as a chain.

Oh well.  C’est la shish…  Other versions of La Shish have popped up in its place, even stealing its logo design, but they don’t have the same momentum as the original.  That is why I suggest going another route and follow My Taco Bell Plan.

In only one weekend, I can train any entrepreneur how to climb that mountain of creating a monster franchise and ring that bell at the top!

  • Step 1)  You need a catchy name.  Witness how Taco Bell rolls off the tongue.  Taaaaco Bell, Taaacooo Belllll.  La Shish worked well, but it name is tarnished.  My suggestion: Kebob Stop.  My other client, Dim Sum Gong, is already achieving some success.
  • Step 2) Ah, not so fast… you’re going to have to subscribe to my program to learn the rest.  For a flat fee of $20,000, I will teach you details to secrets like these: Lego style food design (Taco Bell makes, like, 30 dishes out of, like, eight items), signing a deal with PepsiCo (you have to get Mt. Dew, I promise you), and After Hours marketing (drinking and fast food go hand-in-hand… as does anonymous sex).

I’m also looking for developers for my Pierogi To Go and Taka Sushi restaurants.  Act now!