JusWondering

JusWondering… Does This Revenge Flick Take Place In Ohio?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Tough and beautiful (always lead with tough) Zoe Saldana has a new movie coming out, in which she will neither be a blue cat person, nor Ashton Kutcher’s love interest, of which I see no difference.

It’s called:

They forgot to say "Vengeance is Tough." Always lead with "tough."

From the previews, it appears to be a high-octane, face-busting, car-blowing-up, Zoe-in-underwear-at-one-point good time.  And I think it takes place in Ohio.

Columbiana, Ohio, as a matter of fact.  Here’s their website.  Here’s their Twitter account.

Here’s their antique store:

Come see new old things!

Here’s their movie theater:

Come here to see the movie if we get it!

Here’s (one of) their church(es):

Come and pray this film will play at our theater!

It seems like a nice quaint place… that looks nothing at all like it does on film:

But then again, George Clooney’s movie looked nothing like Rhode Island:

Syriana's in Rhode Island, right?

JusWondering… What’s Jason Bateman Thinking?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Jason Bateman has had an interesting career if you really think about it.  As a young actor, he was stuck in Michael J. Fox’s long (but short) shadow, even to the point he had to follow him up by playing a Teen Wolf Too.

But lately, his movie choices have been very hit-or-(mostly)-miss.  It’s even more telling if you string the titles together.

Currently, he’s in:

Last year, he was in:

Isn’t that basically the same name?!

(SIDENOTE: I know, I know… The Switch was originally called The Baster. But still…)

The last time a mix-up like this happened was when he had this movie:

And it was followed by this movie:

Maybe it’s one of these people making his decisions…

JusWondering… Why Does “Crazy Stupid Love” Sound So Familiar?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Steve Carell’s reason for leaving The Office latest hits theaters this week, and something about its title leaves a ringing in my ear.

This is kind of a weird poster.

Is it because of this recent celebrated film?

"I was on the way to Tron and stopped by to sing a bit."

Maybe it’s because of one of these turdfests from the past?

Drew used to be cuter when she was crazy - I mean, mad.

Same goes for Kristen.

Perhaps it’s one of these two flicks with almost the same name?

We're getting close...

We took a half step back...

It has nothing to do with this film, does it?

Yup. This happened.

I know what it is… Crazy Stupid Love very well could be the sequel to this:

Better tagline: "Heaven help her get laid and get food."

JusWondering… This Girl Can’t Be Real, Can She?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve written about the Gregory Brothers/Schmoyoho before, plus who hasn’t heard the Bed Intruder or Double Rainbow Song yet?

This is their latest:

  • Can’t Hug Every Cat

Here’s the original for good measure:

But the question remains – this girl can’t be real, can she?

Leave it to this curious (as a cat) news guy to get to the bottom (feeder) of it:

Sure, it takes some of the catnip of Can’t Hug Every Cat, but it’s still a fancy feast (sorry for that stretch).

JusWondering… Who Is Going To Be Bad Next?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I think I’m starting to see a pattern:

Um... the pattern is... THEY'RE ALL POSTERS!

Well okay, Bad Boys doesn’t exactly fit the post no bills bill, but Bad Teacher is definitely cut from the same red velvet as Bad Santa.

You’ve got adults in child-rearing situations that aren’t fit to rear (or be reared) by anybody.  In all actuality, I’m really surprised this film didn’t have this title:

They're so irreverent!

So I have to ask… what’s next?  Who else should get the “bad” treatment?

Adding "bad" to the front automatically makes these comedies, right?

Missed one!

Oooh!  Maybe they could make a movie called Bad Bosses?

Eh, close enough.

JusWondering… Why Has Hollywood Never Thought Of This?

Posted on by sgottahurt

"It's not a tumah!"

In all the (hundred or so) years of movie making, I’m surprised that not one film took advantage of this gimmick:

Calling the sequel to a film – ORIGINAL TITLE, JR.

Sure, there’s plenty of Actors! that already employ this gimmick.  Robert Downey; Cuba Gooding; Ed Begley.  But no movie titles… aside from the 1994 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic pictured above.

Here’s a list of films that used either Part II, Part 2, or in one case, Part Deux:

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
  • The Hangover Part II
  • Hostel: Part II
  • The Godfather: Part II
  • Back to the Future Part II
  • Father of the Bride Part II
  • The Karate Kid, Part II
  • Hot Shots! Part Deux
  • Rambo: First Blood Part II
  • Friday the 13th Part 2
  • Fright Night Part 2
  • Return of the Living Dead Part II
  • The Toxic Avenger Part II
  • The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1985)
  • Meatballs Part II
  • …and other worse ones…

How funny would it have been to call one of them, ORIGINAL TITLE, JR!  Well, probably not most of them, but Meatballs, Jr. sounds tasty.  Hot Shots! Jr, Return of the Living Dead, Jr, and The Toxic Avenger, Jr. might have worked, too.

The main reason studios probably haven’t taken advantage of this move is because it evokes a child version of the original, à la The Muppet Babies.  Or worse… it evokes “Son Of” entitled films:

  • Son of the Mask
  • Son of Kong
  • Son of Flubber
  • Son of the Pink Panther
  • Son of Paleface
  • Son of Frankenstein
  • Son of Dracula
  • Son of Godzilla

Along my line of thinking, Grease 2 was almost called Son of Grease, because it’s funny.  It evokes a type of movie that’s a send-up and a celebration of the original.  On the other hand, Seed of Chucky was almost called Son of Chucky, but I’d imagine “Son Of” wasn’t gross enough.

(SIDENOTE: Son of Rambow is another excellent example of my theory, as it could have also been called Rambow, Jr.  Don’t miss this incredible, heartfelt movie.)

So what can Hollywood take away from this free advice?

Give it a shot.  The next time an unoriginal film gets a sequel, slap a Jr. on it.  It’s not like Scary Movie, Jr. could suck more, and at least the title would make me smile…

JusWondering… How Would iCheat?

Posted on by sgottahurt

There was a recent court case in Scotland in which a young autistic girl needed to listen to her iPod in order to concentrate on her tests.  The argument against this is obvious – she could be listening to answers.  But she won the case and blah, blah, blah…

This got me JusWondering that if this became common practice (and I was still in school), how would I hide notes about my geography, literature, history, algebra, science, art history, and Spanish classes?

JusWondering… What Other Dances Could Be Named After Characters?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve already written about once dance move named after someone before (The Dougie, named after Doug E. Fresh, RIP M-Bone), so why not do it again?

This time it’s about another dance named after a character (c’mon, Doug E. Fresh isn’t his real name).  This time it’s Movin’ Like Berney, after the eponymous Weekend at Bernie’s:

I had not much more to write about this, until I realized there are other dances named after characters.  There’s the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch (Kids), and Batman (who could forget the Prince’s Batdance no matter how hard you try?)…

But who else should have their own dance?

Forrest Gump?

E.T.?

Got it… Nicolas Cage (he’s a character, for sure)…

JusWondering… What Is Jumping The Broom?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Anybody hear about this movie called Jumping the Broom?

This Summer, Learn a New Term!

Anybody hear of the phrase jumping the broom?

Well, apparently it’s

a phrase and custom relating to wedding ceremonies practiced in Wales, by Romani people (better known as “Gypsies”), in some African-American communities, and by other groups.

That I could have garnered from the poster.  What else ya got, Wikipedia?

In Wales, Romani (Gypsy) couples would get married by eloping together, when they would “jump the broom,” or over a branch of flowering broom or a besom made of broom…

…In some African-American communities, marrying couples will end their ceremony by jumping over a broomstick, either together or separately. This practice dates back at least to the 19th century and has enjoyed a 20th century revival largely due to the miniseries Roots.

Sooooo (how many o’s are enough?) it has ties to slave times.  And the question of which culture the practice originated from is still up for debate.  Ummmmm (how many m’s are enough?) that’s an interesting title… and I learned something today, sooooo there’s that…

Kthxbai!

JusWondering… Is This Ad Kinda Racist?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Michigan State Lottery has a ad campaign going on entitled, well, here’s the billboard:
That on its own is good and dandy, but the commercials get me JusWondering what I wrote above.  Here’s a screen shot (you can watch the ad by clicking here):

Things that make you go hmm...

What this leads me to believe is that:

  1. African-Americans buy lottery tickets.
  2. Middle Eastern-Americans run convenience stores that sell lottery tickets.
  3. Annoying white kids hailing from families that can afford clear braces are benefiting from this system.
  4. And the only way the African-Americans and Middle Eastern-Americans can benefit is if someone wins?

Am I crazy for noticing/thinking this?  Please comment below…