In My Brain While Sleeping | monkeyBLOG monkeyDO

In My Brain While Sleeping… Virtual Boy 3D

Posted on September 21, 2010 by sgottahurt

‘Memba Nintendo VirtualBoy?

It virtually sucked. Or was this a time I could have used the word, literally?

Well, I had a dream in which there was a new game system in town – the VirtualBoy 3D!

It looked like the equipment above, except the controller was wireless, and the hard ware broke into two pieces in order to do this:

Talk about "table tennis"...

In case you don’t know what this is, and the above image falls into my category of (Not So) Artistic Representations, each half projected the image that created the 3D game play… pretty neat, eh?

What could be even better than that? How about the video game I dreamed about another day…

It was a game in which the major baddies throughout history are gathered by an evil time traveler, and your character is picked up by another guy from the future that’s already built a team composed of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt. I was planning on making a cover for the game, which was entitled Past President Future, but the above image took too long, and now I’m bored.

…I wish I would have made the game cover first…

In My Brain While Sleeping… When Nature Attacks (Because You Didn’t Drink Beer)

Posted on September 8, 2010 by sgottahurt

It's a little bit of "Ah, Nature" vs. "Aaaaaah, Nature!"

The dream started off normal enough.

I was hanging out with a group of friends at a bar, drinking, when all of a sudden, one of my friends was launched into the air by a wooden stool.

It kind of happened like this:

We rushed to his aid and helped him up. Somebody checked the stool and there was nothing remarkable about it. He said he was fine, so we continued drinking. Rather than trusting another seat, my previously airborne friend opted to lean against the wood-paneled wall. He chose to be sober that night, so he asked the waitress for another glass of water to replace the last one he spilled.

That’s when the wall blasted him across the room somehow, even though its surface remained in tact.

In a blood curdling whelp, he begged the question, “Why?” That’s when a creature that looked like this:

It's a "Sudowoodo" from Pokémon.

…except meaner explained everything.

When you choose not to partake entirely in the sacrifice that nature has made for your enjoyment, it is an insult to the remainder of nature you have used.

Tonight, we, the wooden chairs and wooden walls, have lashed back because you refused to honor our fallen hops and barley brethren.

So the moral of the dream is this: DRINK.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Yoda’s Idea Of Perfection

Posted on August 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

This dream probably (definitely) has to deal partly with me watching The Clone Wars cartoon, and partly with me subconsciously thinking… well, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Basically, Yoda appeared before me and he told me this:

Most perfect creation in all of the universe, a bubble is.

(Sort Of) Artistic Representation

I might have to agree with the sagely Jedi. The way a bubble fights to be a perfect sphere, the way it captures and disperses reflections and light, there are plenty of reasons why Yoda might believe – or know – that.

But what does it mean?

Double bubble... so intense!

Dubble Bubble... not so intense...

In My Brain While Sleeping… Snooki Sneaked Into My Dreams

Posted on August 9, 2010 by sgottahurt

Snooki, Snooki, Snooki.

It’s so much easier to say than Nicole Polizzi, Nicole Polizzi, Nicole Polizzi.

Anyguido, the pint-sized Jersey Shore star left the Miami shoreline to invade my slumber and host a party in South Africa.

The festivities were to occur during a lunar eclipse, but she thought that the sun would be out at night. Nonetheless, this upset her greatly. But it was the bumper stickers on the billboard announcing her celebration that upset her more:

(Fairly) Artistic Representation

On some of the billboards, the bumper stickers were placed right on the bathtub picture.

She ended up getting real drunk and arrested in the morning. It kinda looked like this:

Realistic Representation

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Simpsons Of The Futurama

Posted on July 26, 2010 by sgottahurt

To post this picture first might give away the punchline, but here we go anywiggums:

The All-New Depressing Simpsons!

I’ve dreamed in cartoon only once before (and also in comic strip), but now I’m able to add another to the short list.

Somehow, I knew this episode of The Simpsons came from five years from now, when the show would be in something like its 30th season. Clearly out of ideas, the yellow family revamped itself in this way:

In the opening of the episode, it is revealed that Bart won a contest to be home plate umpire in a major league game.
For the last call of the game, he calls an outside pitch a strike, and the fans storm the field and trample him, in effect, killing him.
Upon further review of the call, it’s revealed at Bart’s wake that he was 100% correct.
Despondent, the Simpsons seek out and adopt a baby from Africa that looks a lot like Hermes from Futurama (even though he’s Jamaican).
Also, Milhouse moves into their home, since he too is riddled with grief.
Every joke that’s attempted throughout the episode falls flat, and a beat following every punchline, Milhouse sobs over what the show has become…

…just like all the old fans.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Lady Problems (And How)!

Posted on June 28, 2010 by sgottahurt

Hate the playaz, not the club...

I always loved how the Little Rascals were such small scamps. I don’t know where I was going with this, so onto the dreams!

I don’t watch The Bachelorette. I’ve seen The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, but I don’t watch them with any regularity. Or irregularity. For all the drinking and crappy eating I do, I’m surprised at my regularity.

Anywhocaresaboutjakeandvienna, for some reason while in slumber, I found myself as a participant on the one-chick version (way to go subconscious…) with this Bachelorette (way to go subconscious?):

Ali Fedotowsky

She’s a pretty girl, no doubt, and in the dream she was in different to me (way to go subconscious again). As she was sending away one of the other bachelors, that guy started bawling. He was seriously gasping for air he was crying so bad. I started making fun of that guy with a few of the other contestants, and they whooped it up while she approached from behind me.

I made a remark along the lines that I would probably cry too, and she overheard. From then on out, she paid all kinds of attention to me, thinking I was the sensitive type (which I am when watching movies and TV, but not so much in real life) and that they were all meanies. I don’t know if I won, but it left me wondering this:

To win this game show, do you need to score?

In the other dream I had, I met Lindsay Lohan.

Please move away from the door and let me leave!

I had the chance to talk with her, and through hours of lunchtime discussion, she had a breakthrough! She was going to change her life! She cried (though not as bad as the guy dumped by the Bachelorette), and we went to meet her mom, Dina. Somehow, my words sliced through to the core of their being, like a hot knife through butter, or a hot knife through a chest for that matter.

They thanked me for helping them heal, and I felt great.

It was when I awakened that realized in reality, they were both co-dependent, delusional, coked out whores, and that no one could ever help them, let alone me.

Inside, I kind of felt like this:

In My Brain While Sleeping… Preview “The Secret Of My Success 2” And “The Expendables” Twist

Posted on May 30, 2010 by sgottahurt

(Not So) Theatric Poster

Much like our friends and family (but not our nose), we can’t pick our dreams. Sure we can influence them, but it’s still the subconscious that gets the final say.

For instance, I recently dreamed about a pair of entirely different movies and their REM-rendered interpretations were off, odd, and, quite frankly, awful.

First up to bat – the above teaser poster. I didn’t envision the look of it (nor the amount of time it took to make it look like passable junk). The plot of The Secret of My Success 2 came through to me like a whisper in the night. Well, maybe not a whisper… more like a coughing hack.

The CEO of McDonald’s and his wife were having marital problems. In stepped me/Michael J. Fox… I/he suggested that the CEO sing this to his wife:

“Ba-da-bah-bah-bum… I’m lovin’ you.”

Boom! I/he became a success at McDonald’s! And it was our little (second) secret!

The other dream involved me seeing a sneak preview for a flick that hasn’t even hit theaters yet – The Expendables.

Suffice it to say, there was a switcheroo in the middle of the movie (a twist filling, if you will), and the bad guys killed off all the Expendables except for two…

Tough Guys: Topher Grace and Jay Baruchel

In My Brain While Sleeping… There’s An App For That?

Posted on May 16, 2010 by sgottahurt

I only give high-fives for Taco Bell...

This dream originally dealt with a weird cruise ship and a strange arcade, but it was odd in those ways you can’t explain.

What I can explain was one stand-up arcade game that projected images on the touch screen that were to be emulated by using your hands, palms, and fingers. Think Twister meets Flamin’ Finger.

Regardless, the game would be much better suited on something portable, à la iPhone:

("fingerpalm - what else were we going to call it" not available for Palm OS)

So for example, the above image would require the side of your right hand and one finger touch. Possible? No. Fun? Possibly.

But if I could have my druthers, I’d rather have an app that could locate the closest Taco Bell to me at any given point.

Taco Bell high-five!

If not that, then an app that played a pissing sound while I looked up answers to cheat at bar trivia… Don’t look at me like that! Gift certificates that can be redeemed at a later date are on the line!

In Someone Else’s Brain While Sleeping… (I Need A Break)

Posted on May 2, 2010 by sgottahurt

I recently had a dream in which I invented wind-up watches. I woke up thinking they were a crazy idea, and then I thought about how crazy i was to forget that they existed.

While on the subject of crazy, one of my friends told me about a woman she worked with and the recurring dream she had.

Over the course of fifteen years (FIFTEEN YEARS!), she often dreamed of Morgan Freeman standing in a waterfall, wearing a diaper, and holding her unborn twins in her arms. She never had twins or lost them, I found out, because then it would have been sad… like Morgan Freeman was playing his usual role of God, and all that other psychoanalytic mumbo jumbo.

So since it wasn’t a downer, I simply could not resist trying to imagine what that looked like, and here was the result:

(Not So) Artistic Representation

M	T	W	T	F	S	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30	31

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