In My Brain While Sleeping

In My Brain While Sleeping… Oh, Britain And Ye Ol’ Fashioned Ways

Posted on by sgottahurt

There was another part to this mental madness involving President Obama being a superhero and that being the reason  he was too busy to get any bigger issues fixed (it’s hard to repair the economy or create jobs if you’re saving babies and rescuing kittens in trees, I guess).

Otherwise, the concept of this dream was simple: I was in the U.K. and they were still quite fond of VHS.  It was the preferred format over DVD and digital copies.  There was a supermarket filled to the brim with the latest releases in the outdated form.

If this was actually the case, this would be a clam shell case you’d see there this week:

How big is that tape if it contains both versions of the film?

(SIDENOTE: Also, how cool is this?)

In My Brain While Sleeping… Toy Story 4

Posted on by sgottahurt

Could it be true?  A real Toy Story 4?  I wonder if it will be anywhere as existential as this dream I had.

To start, all of the beloved characters from all three movies were all together in a store in their original packaging.

Kinda like this. Or exactly.

What became apparent was that all of the Buzz Lightyears were not alive, but only one.  This was the same with the whole gang.  As they worked on escaping their prisons, they soon realized their spirits could shift from one figure to the next.

Kinda like this. Or exactly.

Tim Allen made a guest appearance at this point to explain things to them.

Exactly not like this.

This is along the lines of what he said:

Your souls are not restricted to just the action figures or dolls that you are.  You can take over any form of yourself.

So then they all transferred their spirits to the balloons bearing their likenesses.  Tim Allen was gracious enough to take all their balloons through the front door and let them roam free.  Buzz asked to be held onto a moment longer to share a special goodbye.

Buzz: So this is it?

Tim: Yes, Buzz.  It’s time to go.

Buzz: Okay, Tim.  To infinity…

Tim: …and beyond.

Then he let the balloon go.  But the dream didn’t end there.

My “brain-camera” pulled back into the store and shifted over to another aisle.

The aisle with Transformers, G.I. Joe, and Star Wars.

And they were alive, too.

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Rise Of McLovin

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve only seen Superbad once.  That was when it came out on DVD, and I haven’t seen it since.

I’ve never watched the new Rambo.  In fact, I think I’ve only taken in the ill-titled Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III.

Then why did I dream about an adventure story featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse as this guy:

Good for beer purchases everywhere but Hawaii.

Except he looked more like this:

Superbadass

Regardless, the man saved my life.

And I won’t ever get to thank him.

INGREDIENTS: Five 20 oz. Miller Lites followed up by small curd cottage cheese.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Will And Kate… And Me

Posted on by sgottahurt

What a weird dream.  Extra weird as weird dreams go.  (Don’t I always say that?)

It’s not like this dream occurred anytime around their wedding either, but… ugh… I dreamed I was friends with Prince William.  Apparently, I had met him years ago while on vacation in Las Vegas, and he thought I was a class act and a bloody riot, which is a good thing I guess.

We had lost touch over the years, but as his wedding to Kate Middleton approached, he started bring me around more:

Us all in England... somewhere...

It was all part of the build-up to him asking me to be his best man.  He wanted me to give a speech and everything.  Kate so enjoyed my company, she asked me to be her best man, too.  The cropped picture from their wedding website can be viewed here, but this is the original full-sized (although still bleached-out) photo:

They really got a kick out of my full beard and Red Wings hat, so they begged me to keep it for this portrait.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Sudden Impact! The (Non-Dirty Harry) Movie

Posted on by sgottahurt

I wish this dream was a bit more straightforward, à la Clint Eastwood’s fourth Dirty Harry movie, Sudden Impact, but it’s not.  I awakened from it, distinctly remembering the name of the movie-in-my-mind was Sudden Impact!, but the plot and story were a little lacking.

It was one of those subconscious jumbles of flicks I hadn’t seen in a long time, or never.  It’s still so vivid in my brain pan that I could try to explain it to you, but it can’t be conveyed with any amount of clarity, so I’ll just make a stew of the images.

You can make up the story yourself.

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(SIDENOTE: The story was essentially this… Michael Pare was the tough guy at a college campus, and the nerd from Troll 2 was his roommate in a frat house like in Real Genius.  The nerd invented this pink slime that he could put on his head to make him popular, or something, but his soul ended up leaving his body and going into the slime.  So next, as the slime, he moved onto the sorority house and took the souls of girls in their shower room.  Upon finding all this out, Michael Pare took the pink slime onto himself and he jumped out the window to his death, like in The Exorcist.  The splat at the bottom was his – wait for it – Sudden Impact!)

In My Brain While Sleeping… Mark Curry’s Comeback!

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you don’t know who Mark Curry is, you’re like everybody else in the world prior to the premiere of his ABC show, Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper.  As a refresher:

That image has some unsavory undertones...

AnyTGIF, he hasn’t done anything in a long time, but I dreamed of his comeback:

Show slogan: "He's no longer the teacher - he's the mayor!"

But the sad reality I found out was this (via Wikipedia):

On April 17, 2006, an aerosol can that had fallen behind Curry’s water heater exploded and Curry, who was doing laundry at the time, was burned on over 20% of his body, including his arm, back and side. He spent many months recooperating at his home… [Emphasis mine, of course – Ed.]

Anyone else up for the idea of Cooper Town?  Anything’s better than Cougar Town…

In My Brain While Sleeping… An Invention Already Invented, Dammit

Posted on by sgottahurt

I suppose it’s quite possible that I saw this somewhere in my past, but I don’t recall for sure.

Nonetheless, I had a dream that I invented a product 95% similar to this and awakened so pleased I thought I had struck gold.  Unfortunately, the portable turntable already exists, and it’s USB powered to boot!

Dream spun me round, right round, like a record...

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Celebrity Drinking Game Show

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sorta like this, but drunkier...

I’m really getting tired of dreaming up great ideas and having no creative power.  At least I have this blog.  Yup.

This dream surrounds a simple but possibly controversial concept:

Celebrities of varying degrees would be gathered to play drinking games like Presidents and Assholes, Beer Pong, and Quarters.  There will be winners; there will be losers.  Just like at regular award shows.  And they’ll get druuuunk.  Just like at regular award shows.

The Celebrity Drinking Game Show could be hosted by Charlie Sheen, since he’s an expert at partying and Winning! But since he’s been focused on staying “sober,” then maybe we could get this guy:

He's always looking for more celebs to rehab...

In My Brain While Sleeping… CGI Oprah In “Oprah: The Life Of Oprah”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Motion capture is one of the laziest inventions in cinema ever.  It’s advanced rotoscoping for all intents and purposes.  (You can click on the links if you don’t know what any of that means.)

AnyCGI, I had a weird dream that Steven Spielberg was working with Oprah Winfrey to make a film version of her life story.  The catch?  She’d play herself throughout using motion capture.  This is my (Not So) Artistic Representation of how she would look as a child:

She appears more alien than child. Whoops. Which should work for Spielberg...

(Original image after the jump) Read More

In My Brain While Sleeping… Worse. Interview. Ever.

Posted on by sgottahurt

Immediately after waking up from this dream, I knew I had to make the video using Xtranormal.  You’ve probably seen videos from that sight, used in Geico ads.

Anygekko, I knew it wasn’t that entertaining on its own (that was kind of the point of the weirdness), and in text form, it would be xtraboring.  Enjoy Terrible Radio Interview with Sean Penn:

God bless the musical fruit…