I Am Thankful For… Short Weeks!

You gotta hand it to this guy:

Hi five!

Here is the logical reason why:

  • If not for turkeys, we would not have Thanksgiving dinners.
  • Without Thanksgiving dinners, we would not have Thanksgiving day parades and football games to kill time waiting for the food to be ready.
  • Without Thanksgiving day parades and football games, people would not have to skip work.
  • Since so many people would skip work anyway, it became a national holiday so everybody could not work!

Huzzah for having the fourth Thursday of every November off!

We also have to celebrate these idiots:

Overheard by someone in line - "I heard they're selling Ramen noodles for a quarter!"

For anyone not working in retail, these freaks make Friday an easy day to take off as well.

Long weekend, here I come!

 

 

I Am Thankful For… Detroit 1-8-7

Let me begin by saying that although I do enjoy the show, Detroit 1-8-7 is not Detroit enough for me.  Like the misnomer in the title (187 is the California penal code for “murder,” not Detroit’s), it’s a lighter look at this shitty city.  It’s the equivalent to calling Detroit a doo-doo city.

Nonetheless, I’m happy for what it’s doing for the local community.  It’s work.  It’s a beacon of hope.  And it co-stars Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

(Pssst! It means she lives here!)

(Pssst! Put her in the show more so she stays here!!!1!!!ONE!)

I Am Thankful For… Hausu On DVD

This almost slipped past me, like the plot of the movie (see the preview below), but I Am Thankful For finding out that the 1977 Japanese horror (?) film Hausu has been released on DVD, and, well, check it out:

Via Criterion’s website:

SYNOPSIS: How to describe Nobuhiko Obayashi’s indescribable 1977 movie House (Hausu)? As a psychedelic ghost tale? A stream-of-consciousness bedtime story? An episode of Scooby-Doo as directed by Mario Bava? Any of the above will do for this hallucinatory head trip about a schoolgirl who travels with six classmates to her ailing aunt’s creaky country home and comes face-to-face with evil spirits, a demonic house cat, a bloodthirsty piano, and other ghoulish visions, all realized by Obayashi via mattes, animation, and collage effects. Equally absurd and nightmarish, House might have been beamed to Earth from some other planet. Never before available on home video in the United States, it’s one of the most exciting cult discoveries in years.

A great treat to watch on Thanksgiving, I’m sure!

I Am Thankful For… Victoria’s Former Secret, Candice Swanepoel

As I sit and watch my Detroit Lions blow their chance to obliterate the Dallas Cowboys (and former Lions quarterback, John Kitna) and walk away with the better record of 3-7 vs. 2-8, I’ve decided to discover and uncover the beauty that is Candice Swanepoel.

It took me a little while to figure who she was after seeing her in a Victoria’s Secret commercial, and I’ve done it!  Unlike the Lions (they didn’t do it)…

To erase the loss from my memory, here’s Candice in a cowgirl costume:

Yee-haw!

 

The rest is pure bonus:

 

She may not be a lioness, but she's close...

The Lions will be flying home for another game on Thanksgiving!

Here's to hoping they can clean up their own mess. I, on the other hand, could use Ms. Swanepoel's help.

BONUS! BONUS! VIDEO!

 

(more costumed Candice’s here)

I Am Thankful For… Not Living In Russia

I recently had a discussion with my mother about our family’s heritage, and I always thought I was 75% Polish, 12.5% Ukranian, 6.25% Lithuanian, and 6.25% Russian.  Turns out, she doesn’t think that we are part-Russian at all.  I’ve been saying that all my life, and I don’t think I made that up, but that’s neither here nor over there… which thankfully, I’m not.

I’m sure there are plenty more reasons not to want to live in Russia.  I’m basing it solely on the brashness of their rodents.

Check ’em out:

I Am Thankful For… The Ultimate Alternative To Turkey

Thanksgiving is upon us, and so it is time to begin to list the things I Am Thankful For… and I shall start with this:

Surprisingly Affordable

So I bet you’re all wondering:

Is it real?

And if you’re asking that, you might have wanted to lead up to that question with this one:

Are unicorns real?

But the long and the short of it is… it is real.

I Am Thankful For… Pink Hair

Today is the day before the big T-Day, and what better way to celebrate than by thanking the universe for pink hair.  (I was going to sing the praises of open soda fountains in fast food joints, but faint rouge follicles FTW.)

It doesn’t matter if the puce  a wig, dyed, or animated, pink is a winner.  Now presenting three solid examples:

jillwagner_jem

Also known as The Mercury Girl (click image for commercial), Jill Wagner gets the mercury rising.

natalie_portman_closer

Natalie Portman is Closer to a rapper than the singer Pink ever was (click image for proof).

Erin+Esurance

My insurance policy on how much pink hair rules (click image for more thoughts on Erin Esurance).

Not a chance this is better than pink hair (but if there happened to be Mountain Dew)...

 

I Am Thankful For… Alison Brie

There are three phases to my gratitude for the lovely Alison Brie.

1) As Trudy Campbell on Mad Men, she first caught my attention.  Playing a put-upon cuckquean, she somehow reminded me of a real-life Disney Princess that realized wishing gets you nowhere.  And oh how I wish to meet her! she was on Saturday Night Live instead of co-star January Jones!

His disregard for her feelings makes me a mad man!

2) As Annie Adderall Edison on Community, she wriggled further into public awareness in a more notable role.  And she’s also proved she’s funny.  And funny goes a lot further in the cute department, of which she’s the manager.

Will she end up with Troy, Jeff, or the entire Community?!?

3) And of course, there’s always this case study in stunning black and white…

I Am Thankful For… This Bobblehead Existing

If have never heard of Tommy Wiseau or The Room, then you’re missing out:

Watching it is like having a fever dream, only the movie makes less sense than a parasite-driven meltdown.

The fact that this has been produce and is ready for sale brings great joy to the cold cockles of my heart, and for that, I’m thankful.

I wish his hair was real.

Also thankful?

The Gang can always make room for The Room

I Am Thankful For… Otherworld

otherworld

"Hey would you like to swing on a star..." Oh no wait, that's the theme from "Out of This World"

…or should I say, “I am thankful someone else has heard of Otherworld.”  In the days since the TripleDoubleU has taken its foothold as our MRS (memory replacement system), there are few things I cannot find any mention of out there via Google. 

Unfound(dead) Item #1 – Fender Bender ring anyone’s bells? 
Unfound(dead) Item #2 – Anyone else ever hear that John Williams reversed a song he wrote to make the Star Wars theme (other than the Indiana Jones theme which is the dumbest rumor I ever heard!)?

Anydogpile, I remember Otherworld for only one thing – everyone there was primarily left-handed.  Nobody on all the other blogs I checked mentioned that.  Oh well.  It existed.  You can watch all eight episodes from the 1985 show here.  Or just watch the intro and end below.  Or do nothing but dream about turkey.  This was my Thanksgiving miracle, not yours, so I’d understand.  Jerk.