The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Greed Day, Er, Green Day

The Shit =

Dookie as I say, not as I Dookie.

The Shitty =

Don’t believe the above preview?  Here’s some footage from the show:

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY POP PUNK HEROES?!

When did they turn into ABBA?

As opposed to Papa Pizzeria!

When did they turn into Billy Joel?!

Well, his name "is" Billy Joe Armstrong...

When did they turn into Spider-Man?!?!

Spidey has a musical? Not U2...

Ah, who am I to judge?  If someone wanted to make a Broadway musical of this blog, I’d let them.  As a matter of fact, I might begin composing it during the actual Green Day. Next Tuesday.  The 20th.  Of April.

Musical Musings… Out With The Olds, In With The News (Not Huey Lewis)

Paramore is No Doubt's replacement, no doubt

Paramore is No Doubt's replacement, no doubt

Time flies when you’re having fun.  It also flies when you break from the group that shot you to super-stardom, you start your own clothing line, and you knock out a couple kids with another bands’ former lead singer.

I’m looking at you Gwen Stefani, and you’ve been replaced by Hayley Williams.  You had the bindi; she has the orange hair.

But that’s not what this post is all about.  It’s about the cycles of the music industry.  Somebody always replaces somebody else.  I’m sure you get what I’m saying, but let me reiterate with examples from my own life.

1) Billy Joel & Rob Thomas

billyjoel-robthomas

Both are talented musicians that crank out the hits.  Although Thomas used to be with Matchbox Twenty, who else would I say?  John Mayer?  Not even close to the Piano Man.

2) Huey Lewis and The News & Weezer

hueylewis-weezer

Huey infiltrated the 80’s pop scene with a 50’s-inspired sound.  Rinse and repeat in the 90’s.

3) Debbie Gibson & Regina Spektor

debbiegibson-reginaspektor

Both pianists.  Both song writers.  Both crushes of mine.

4) Green Day & Say Anything

greenday-sayanything

Angsty punk rockers with catchy melodies.

5) The Offspring & Rise Against

offspring-riseagainst

Poignant punk rockers with hard-hitting melodies.

6) Rancid & Kings of Leon

rancid-kingsofleon

Unintelligible punk rockers with unique melodies.

7) I’m still trying to figure out my replacement for this guy:

He got that six-string at the five-and-dime.

He got that six-string at the five-and-dime.

Musical Musings… Bait-And-Switch CD’s, Rated By Surprised Grandmothers

As a self-proclaimed prankster, I have to admit I love it when musicians release their crossover tunes onto easy-listening stations, knowing full well that their CD is nothing like that one song.  Unwitting grandmothers and soccer moms hear it and think, “What a pleasant melody,” so they head to Target to pick it up, and image their shock at the remainder of the album.  (I wanted to go into a whole thing about grandmothers looking for LP’s and cassette tapes, but I thought it was mean and stopped myself.)

So what better way to express the level of shock value than by rating them with surprised grandmothers?

The latest culprit: Shinedown, with their album The Sound of Madness

A few other groups have done it in the past, like Rise Against and their album Siren Song of the Counter Culture.

Green Day committed the act late in the game, on their CD Nimrod.

Oh, and what can I say about Extra co-host, Mark McGrath’s, “humble” beginnings in Sugar Ray.  For the record (clever pun!), their first CD, Lemonade and Brownies (juvenile pun!) looked like this:

Nicole Eggert of "Charles In Charge" and something called... "Baywatch"?

Nicole Eggert of "Charles In Charge" and something called... "Baywatch"?

It was their second album, Floored, that pulled the bait-and-switch.

  • The Crossover: Fly
  • The Reality: RPM
  • Surprised Grandmother:

    "Turn that racket off!"

    "Turn that racket off!"

(SIDENOTE: Both of the above videos were integral to launching McG’s future career as a feature film director.  So every time you see Mark McGrath mugging on Extra, you can thank him for making Lemonade=Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and Brownies=Terminator Salavation possible.  And McGrath <> McG?  Do I smell a conspiracy?  Nope.  Just turds.)

Musical Musings… Annoying Repetition

A Literal EarwormThe posts where I bitch about music never seem to go over too well, but since people aren’t always in the car with me when some annoying song comes on (and I often forget to bring it up later), I now have this forum to gripe.  And gripe I will (my apologies if you don’t care, but press on because you may agree).

The theme for this short list is Annoying Repetition.  Before you get in an uproar saying all music is repetitive, I’m talking more about the hooks that cycle throughout the song and seem to go nowhere fast.  They feel incomplete and prod at the mind and soul and I’m being melodramatic.  Songs can be super-repetitive and work.  Take Green Day’s Brain Stew as a positive example.

But some songs set out to destroy ear drums.  Mobile’s The Killer is the latest entry into the mix, and what ultimately prompted this disdainful account.  (To note: I would have embedded the video if Universal wasn’t a bunch of douchenozzles.)  Aside from the whining, winding musical arrangement, the “yeah-yeah’s” dispersed in the track make me think of Bono on “South Park” as he walks through a poor village singing “hello-hello” and “yeah-yeah” (it’s his special brand of helping).

I know there are other recent examples like Britney Spears’ Womanizer or tATu’s All the Things She Said, but they’re radio pop and to call it crap is an understatement.  On the other hand, these kinds of songs are programmed to be catchy and get stuck in your head, and they do it quite well.  Just the mere mention of the titles might cause earworms.

Before I go, I have two other odd entries: a couple songs of yesteryear that when I catch wind of them, they spiral me into a rage.  One is John Mellencamp’s Wild Night and the other is 24 Gone’s Girl of Colours (video below).  At least Shana Zadrick is in the Coug’s video.  Too bad I didn’t know about her in the 90’s (I was in love with Laetitia Casta at the time.)