george lucas

Drunken Recollection… In Defense Of Jar Jar Binks

Posted on by sgottahurt

Where's a wampa when you need one?

Where's a wampa when you need one?

Jar Jar Binks was the beginning and the end of “Star Wars” for most.  It was the clearest sign that George Lucas had lost his damned mind, and the pandering to kids that began with the Ewoks in “Return of the Jedi” (which was fine when I was a kid), had spiraled out of control.  And it wasn’t just the fans that thought this.

According to Wikipedia:

Additionally, Rob Coleman, who was the lead on the Industrial Light & Magic animation team, warned Lucas that there was concern among the team that the character of Jar Jar was coming across poorly for the team and how the character was to be projected. Lucas told him that he especially put Jar Jar in the film to appeal to small children. After that, the issue was dropped.

So after all is said and done – why would I choose to defend Jar Jar?  As he is, I can say nothing.  But of what he could have been – I have to say this.

I believe in George Lucas’ out-of-touch brain, he had grander plans for Jar Jar, besides having him be at fault for giving Palpatine power in Episode II (heaven help me for writing this… all of this.)  I think it was the fan backlash that shrunk Jar Jar’s role.

Even if he didn’t have better intentions for Jar Jar, I believe the series would have benefited from having a permanent sidekick for Anakin.  Jar Jar, the simple creature he was, could have been used to contrast how far into darkness Anakin decended.  Jar Jar could have been his confidant when he Obi-Wan pissed him off.  Jar Jar could have ran interference to distract others when Anakin was hooking up with Amidala.  Then, when the moment arrived where Anakin had chosen his destiny… when he wiped out all those little Jedi kids… how much more powerful would it have been for Anakin’s best bud to walk in and catch him doing such horrible things?  Anakin, realizing how far he has fallen, would then lash out and destroy the mirror of his lost innocence – Jar Jar.

Especially after what Jar Jar would probably have said: “Ani, whatsa yooza doin?”

(If you’re brave enough, there’s a pic of the hotness that is me after jump…)

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Empire To Strike Back Against Returning Jedi In Cage Match

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you ask any self-respecting “Star Wars” fan (they do exist) what their favorite film is in the trilogy, they’ll most often respond, “Empire Strikes Back.”  (There’s no need to say original trilogy because the other three flicks don’t exist – how’s that for denial?)

I used to say “Return of the Jedi,” because I was eight, and I liked the Ewoks.  But as the real-life encroached upon me like Vader’s Star Destroyer over the Tantive IV (I’ve said too much), the cynicism and hopelessness of the second film connected with me… even though I still like the Ewoks (I’ve really said too much).

Sci-fi heavy website, io9, has complied a list of the Five Major Flaws in Episode V (And How to Fix Them).  Many of the issues have the same solution, as in what follows:

The bounty hunters should have fought each other in a Bloodsport-style tournament. All those awesome characters, and all George Lucas can give us is the non-canon Tales of the Bounty Hunters, which is in book form, making it very hard to imagine how everything that happens looks. In ESB, we see Bossk sneer at Boba Fett—and that’s it. That breaks one of the cardinal rules in Robert McKee’s Story: If one character sneers at another and they don’t throw down later, the movie is ruined.
     The fix:“You are free to use any methods necessary,” Vader says, “but I want them alive. No disintegrations.”
     “As you wish,” Fett answers. He looks at the other bounty hunters. “Not that you crumbheads will have to worry about finding them anyway.”
     Dengar bristles. “Who are you calling a crumbhead?” [Note: “Crumbhead” is a total Corellian insult.] He steps to Fett.
     “Watch it,” Fett says. “My dad killed most of the Jedi.”
     There is silence. Finally, IG-88 says, “That’s quite a stretch.”
     “Enough!” Vader yells. “We will settle this in the cage.”

Check it out for some interesting complaints.  Otherwise, we’ll have to settle this… in the cage.

A Pep Talk For TV Producer Bryan Fuller

Posted on by sgottahurt

Even though the TripleDoubleU’s a-rumbling over “Pushing Daisies” (some hint that the title may become eponymous with its fate), I say, sally forth, Bryan Fuller.  Your imagination, and our societal lack thereof, needs it.

From your beginnings, as a fan who got to write for his favorite franchise, “Star Trek,” through your development of the wonderful “Wonderfalls” and “Dead Like Me,” and the best part of the crap that “Heroes” has become (FYI… he wrote the first season’s incredible “Company Man”), I don’t feel like you’ve received your just desserts just yet.

It appears ABC’s gamble last Wednseday was good one (and funny, since the episode was about gambling).  I hope that “Pushing Daisies” can find the audience it needs to keep the Brass ordering more seasons.

And fear not if all does not go as planned (crossing fingers for new “Star Trek” show).  Look how long it took Judd Apatow to click with the mainstream.  There was “The Ben Stiller Show,” “Freaks and Geeks,” and “Undeclared” way before there was “The 40 Year Old Virgin.”

We need people like you in Hollywood (and Charlie Kaufman, and maaaaybe Zack Snyder), since the Lucas and Spielberg wells have all dried up.  Who else will do battle with the Michael Bays, Stephen Sommers, Brett Ratners, and (vomit) Friedberg/Seltzers of the world?