Yes Or No, Y’Know… Upcoming Movie Projects Edition

If this was an article produced by a robot, it would be buttons with a 1 or 0. Or would a robot use YES and NO buttons to not seem like a robot?

I’m not a robot; otherwise the buttons would be marked with 1 or 0. Or would a robot use YES and NO buttons to not seem like a robot? Negative! Abort! Abort!

Hey y’all, let’s check out my simplest feelings about some upcoming film announcements.

Kevin Smith has decided to go ahead and make Clerks III.  It’s a little sooner than his “every ten years” speculation (Clerks II was released in 2006), but he must have some good ideas about what Dante and Randall have been up to.  I’m guessing that at least one of them has started a family.  I’m hoping it doesn’t become Clerks 3D(article)

Because nobody was asking for it, Edward Woodward’s 1985 TV series, The Equalizer, is getting adapted for the big screen.  It’s basically about a one-man A-Team that equalizes situations for the underdogs… that pay him.  Denzell Washington is set to star; even better, Drive’s director Nicholas Winding Refn will helm. (article)

Why in the world would anyone want to remake Jumanji?  Sure, the special effects weren’t the greatest, but it was 1995 after all.  How about just a Special Edition re-release? (article)

I might be more excited about a Fantastic Four reboot if Disney/Marvel was in charge instead of 20th Century Fox.  Well, maybe not.  It is just the Fantastic Bore Four(article)

Didn’t see the first live-action, Johnny Depp weird-fest, Alice in Wonderland; won’t see the second live-action, Johnny Depp weird-fest, Alice in Wonderland II(article)

God has apparently changed his mind.  Ghostbusters III is a go! (article)

The Bill Murray story was a hoax! (article)

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… They Don’t Write Theme Songs Like That Anymore

This imagined post from the past comes upon the heels of two interesting and recent developments: my re-falling in love with Kelly Preston, and that there will (possibly) be a sequel to 1988’s Twins called Triplets!  Eddie Murphy will play Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s long-lost brother.  My head is spinning, and not a because of a tum-ah!  (Sorry, wrong film…)  Here’s what I might have written when I was 13: 

Good thing presidents don’t have sequels!

1988 has come and gone.  So has a great year at the movies.

Not only did the best action film ever get released (by the way, it’s Die Hard), but there was a return to animation being mixed with live action in the incredible Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Time will only tell if they’ll make any more movies that mix real actors and cartoons (doubt it), and who could possibly make another action film about one guy taking on an entire group of baddies in such a believable manner (no one)?  But what I really want to write about are this year’s “big” comedies.

There’s a reason I put big in quotes – Big is one of the fantastic comedies that came out this year.  Beetlejuice and Naked Gun were good clean-ish fun, and I wasn’t supposed to see the unclean-ish Coming to America, but I did.

For me, the stand-out was Twins and you might be inclined to think these are the reasons why:

  1. It was truly good clean fun (and funny).
  2. Kelly Preston is beautiful.
  3. Arnie and Danny have comedic chemistry.

In jest truth, it was the film’s on-the-nose soundtrack.  Aside from The Spinners’ Brother to Brother (playable down below), you had this gem by Little Richard and Phillip Bailey:

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Films Series That (Thankfully) Stopped At Two

Should have opted for "Airplane Again Too!"

With The Hangover 2 soon being downloaded on your home computer arriving at your local cinema, I started thinking about other films that have only had one sequel.

Blame it on public desire; blame it on the cast a crew’s fondness for one another; blame it on studio greed; Blame It on Rio.  When certain movies do so surprisingly well sequels are an inevitability.  But most times, two is one too many.

Let’s take a look at films from the 80’s (and late 70’s and early 90’s) where sequelling stopped at two.  These got out of the game while the getting was still good, probably because the sequels were… not that good:

  • Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel
  • American Graffiti / More American Graffiti
  • An American Werewolf in London / An American Werewolf in Paris
  • Arthur / Arthur 2: On the Rocks
  • Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure / Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
  • The Blue Lagoon / Return to the Blue Lagoon
  • Breakin’ / Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
  • Caddyshack / Caddyshack II
  • Cocoon / Cocoon: The Return
  • Creepshow / Creepshow 2
  • Fletch / Fletch Lives
  • The Fly / The Fly II
  • 48 Hours / Another 48 Hours
  • Fright Night / Fright Night Part II
  • F/X / F/X 2: The Deadly Art of Illusion
  • Grease / Grease 2
  • Gremlins / Gremlins 2: The New Batch
  • Ghostbusters / Ghostbusters 2
  • Mannequin / Mannequin 2: On the Move
  • Romancing the Stone / Jewel of the Nile
  • Saturday Night Fever / Staying Alive
  • Saturday the 14th / Saturday the 14th Strikes Back
  • Short Circuit / Short Circuit 2
  • Stakeout / Another Stakeout
  • The Sting / The Sting II
  • Teen Wolf / Teen Wolf Too
  • Three Men and a Baby / Three Men and a Little Lady
  • Weekend at Bernie’s / Weekend at Bernie’s II
  • Wayne’s World / Wayne’s World 2
  • Young Guns / Young Guns 2
  • Zapped! / Zapped Again!

Beyond that time period, it doesn’t seem there were a lot of other movies that stopped at two movies.  Or were there?

(Continued after the jump) Read More