JusWondering… What Else Should They Bring Back?

This just screams porno stash.

Often owned by strangers with candy.

Well whadayanknow?

Last year, Polaroid got rid of their Instant Cameras.  I wrote about it here when this blog was still a fledgling.

But courtesy of The Impossible Project (or of a PR stunt the likes of the Heene family – the last batches of film sold recently expired), Polaroid is bringing sexy Instant Cameras back.

This got me thinking… what other foregone technologies would I like to see return?

1) Spindle

threadingspindle

In fairy tales, they were able to spin straw into gold.  They also acted as GHB when it came to princesses.  So maybe they shouldn’t come back.

2) Dick Tracy Copmobile

With technology like that, kids’ imaginations had to flourish.  (See the original toy commercial down below.)*

3) Top Loading VCR’s

"What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" "The VCR heads!"

“What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” “The VCR heads!”

Nostalgia and functionality and purpose aside… look at how easy it was to use?  With all those dials and switches and buttons, you could set the clock!  (Ra-tat-tat-CRASH!)  Of course I want it back for nostalgic reasons (but still not functionality and purpose).

4) Libraries

The Dewey Decimal System was "thisclose" to being the Huey Whole Number System. The Louie Lottery System wasn't even close.

The Dewey Decimal System was "thisclose" to being the Huey Whole Number System. The Louie Lottery System wasn't even close.

There’s something terribly wrong with kids today, and I stand by two reasons why:

  1. Siblings each having their own bathroom growing up, instead of fighting to share one.
  2. Libraries aren’t used as social gathering places anymore.

Wait, what?  Libraries still exist?  I thought the Internet would have surely killed them.  My bad.

SIDENOTE: While we await the Instant Cameras’ re-release, why not pick up this camera that logs every moment of your life?  It’s like YouTube meets Twitter!

You know you want it

You know you want it

*Original Dick Tracy Copmobile commercial after the jump Read More

InASense, Lost… Balloon Boy And His Ilk (Also, “Up” Dropping 11/10)

Ah, balloon boy.

Balloon boy, balloon boy, balloon boy.

Your mother and father wanted you to steal our hearts and imaginations, but all you did was help them crash a giant flying Jiffy Pop bag.  And you may not have done that…

But one thing you did for sure – you totally crashed their dreams of more exposure.*

(SIDENOTE: Disney/Pixar’s UP will be available November 10th on Blu-ray and DVD)

Available November 10th

Arriving November 10th

So let’s make this clear.  Six-year Falcon Heene confessed stated:

You guys said, ‘We did this for the show.’

Which show was he talking about?  Another episode of ABC’s Wife Swap?  (They’ve already participated in two key parties swaps.)

Oh yeah, did I mention that on the 10th of November, you can get your own copy of Disney/Pixar’s UP on Blu-ray or DVD?

Available November 10th

Buy It November 10th

What makes me mad about this fiasco is that so much time, money, and effort was donated to and wasted on what was possibly some big publicity stunt.  It definitely detracts from other miracles involving children in dangerous situations, such as this little girl in Washington:

Or this infant in Australia:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In both of these instances, those we’re supposed to protect were not, but they luckily seemed to be protected by some higher power, call it whatever name you pull out of the hat.  And though these two children faced minor injury (but maybe major trauma), their stories of survival are far more interesting than some goof played by some goofball parents and their goofball kid.  And they named him Falcon?  Seriously?

*Disney/Pixar’s UP is finally “landing” on Blu-ray and DVD.  Look for it November 10th.

Available November 10th

On Shelves November 10th

BONUS VOMIT VIDEO: