So let me get to the point – Google has an ad for their new Maps app. Let’s take a peak:
Google Maps takes you to Detroit?! That’s what they want to represent?
The Detroit I see in the ad is one I’d like to visit, but three break-ins in three months got me to move out of there. And now the city is as bankrupt as its government officials were when it comes to morals and serving the people.
Nice try at being edgy, Google. If you love downtown so much, why don’t you move your offices from Ann Arbor to the Motor City?
You can’t, eh? Oh. It’s because you’re using Apple Maps.
Most of you may not know who The Victorious Secrets are by name, but last year, they won FSN Detroit’s annoying April in the D contest.
To those of you not from “The D,” April is that time of year when three of our Detroit sports teams – Tigers, Red Wings, and Pistons – are supposed to be playing simultaneously… I say that begrudgingly because it requires two of the teams to make it to the playoffs, and only one has… for twenty years! (The Pistons might pull out of their slump next year with the new owner…)
Anyhoopdreams, back to the contest. Last year, The Victorious Secret won with this song:
Then they went on to win FreeCreditScore.com’ssimilar contest with this ditty:
And now you see them in these national commercials:
I WANT THEM TO COME BACK AND MAKE ANOTHER APRIL IN THE D SONG!
This is the crap that won this year:
They actually use the phrase raise the roof non-ironically…
It’s a sort of situation when you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone. And yes, I’m saying that non-ironically…
This has been pretty much everywhere lately, and I’m fine with it because it’s funny rather than tragic (well, maybe it is tragic). But as it stands, it looks like Detroit is going to get this:
"The Spirit of OCP"
Here’s the catch, though… Robocop was not filmed in Detroit (there are only aerial shots). It takes place in a future hell-hole version of this, um, hell-hole. The Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk comes into play because half of the funding for the strange project ($25,000 of the necessary $50,000) came from a donor out of state. So a movie about Detroit that wasn’t filmed in Detroit is getting a statue in Detroit funded mostly by someone not from Detroit.
To borrow from another 80’s film – if you build it, they will come. I guess. But why quit there?
Here are some other cops that should be memorialized in statue form because their movies took place AND were filmed in Detroit (at least more than aerial shots):
I knew that someday the decision (or should I say gamble?) to build this park…
For the longest time, I misread it as "Miggum."
…would one day lead to a synergistic nightmare like this…
Gold plaque! Wood grain! It's like they're twins! Fraternal, of course...
Disney’s television productions might not be the most soul-enriching shows in the world, but I never thought I’d see the day that the MGM Grand Casino in Detroit would use such a similar logo to promote a gambling contest. I mean, kids that still watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody shouldn’t be cross-marketed to in this fashion. They are nowhere near old enough to be spending that kind of dough in an adult establishment on their allowances. I’m not saying I’m against kids partaking in poker, roulette, or craps, but– wait, huh?
I preferred Phil Collins' idea of redubbing it "Disney's Stu-Stu-Studio."
So, yeah… never mind this InASense, Lost. Let’s chalk it up to a Coinkydink (coincidence) or a Coinkydonk (on purpose), because sometimes you never know what kind of gambles executives are willing to make.
An explanation may be required: Coinkydink = Coincidence and Coinkydonk = Not. Happy now?
Came in second as the new team logo
The play that scored
Today the new and “improved” Detroit Lions make their debut against the Atlanta Falcons in the first game of the preseason. Considering the Lions haven’t won a game in quiiiiite awhile, do they have it in them to win?
They haven’t won in so long that a play was produced earlier this year in Los Angeles entitled Lions. Its plot synopsis:
It’s the 2007 NFL season and the Detroit Lions are on a winning streak — unfortunately John Waite is not. With his lifelong friends at The Tenth Ward Club, he places his hopes on his team, and attempts to escape the creeping demise of his city, and of his way of life.
If anyone remembers that season, it’s the one that started with a winning bang (8-0), peaking with the 44-7 win over the Denver Broncos, then ended with only one more win out of the eight remaining games. And how could you forget a completely winless 2008 season?
Here’s where the Coinkydink or Coinkydonk sneaks in… former Falcon quarterback Michael Vick just signed to play for the Philadelphia Eagles, so he’s back in the news after being released from jail for underground dog fighting and animal abuse. Both teams have some dark recent history to overcome, and in this game, who will rise to the challenge?