I Am Thankful For… Victoria’s Former Secret, Candice Swanepoel

As I sit and watch my Detroit Lions blow their chance to obliterate the Dallas Cowboys (and former Lions quarterback, John Kitna) and walk away with the better record of 3-7 vs. 2-8, I’ve decided to discover and uncover the beauty that is Candice Swanepoel.

It took me a little while to figure who she was after seeing her in a Victoria’s Secret commercial, and I’ve done it!  Unlike the Lions (they didn’t do it)…

To erase the loss from my memory, here’s Candice in a cowgirl costume:



The rest is pure bonus:


She may not be a lioness, but she's close...

The Lions will be flying home for another game on Thanksgiving!

Here's to hoping they can clean up their own mess. I, on the other hand, could use Ms. Swanepoel's help.



(more costumed Candice’s here)

JusWondering… Lions Need To Draft Cheerleaders

Another weekend has come and gone.  That means the Detroit Lions can add one more to the number on the right, notching them up to 0-11.  The road ahead looks bleak, but if the New England ButtPats can go for 16 and 0, then so can we!

But I have a theory.  It’s not full-proof, but neither is the theory of relativity… particularly when my Uncle Stan drinks full-proof whiskey on Thanksgiving.  Seriously, is he even related to me?!

Anyhooperthedetroitpistonsmascot, when the Lions use the draft picks received from the Roy Williams trade to Dallas, and the inevitable *crosses finger* first round pick from the undefeated season, I say we use them on a cheerleader squad.  At this point, I say we try anything.

First off, it will get the fans back in the seats so there are no more game day black-outs.  (Us guys are stupid this way.)  That way, it won’t matter if we win or lose.  A simulation:

One friend to another – “Ahhh, not another interception!”
Friend in return – “Hey, check out that hot POA!” 

Smiles on everyone’s face!

Second off, look what adding the Automotion to Detroit Pistons games did for them… six Conference Appearances, two Conference Titles, one Championship.  Coincidence?  (I pronounced it co-inside-ence? to be funny in my head.  Try it.)

Third off (bra-level… yay!), every other team but two has cheerleaders!  (I pronounced it teambuttwo… y’know, real fast in my head, so it sounded like Timbuktu.  For no reason.)

It’s not that every team that has cheerleaders does well, or vice versa.  (Cleveland had a good run in the late 80’s and the New York rammed the ButtPats in last years Super Bowl – and they don’t have cheerleaders.  Is it because they’d be the Brown Girls or the Giant Girls?  You be the judge.)

In closing, some suggestions for the Lions Cheerleaders name, besides simply that or the Lionesses:

  • The Lions Down
  • The Always Lions
  • The Assembly Lions
  • The Lions Around Unemployed
  • The Running Game
  • The Lost Hope… or The Last Hope
  • The Pipe Dreams
  • The Who Cars Anymore?
I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita, and as I continue you know they're getting sweeter

I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita, and as I continue you know they're getting sweeter

Elisabeth’s Bringing Hassel… Er, Beck?

It’s been happening for awhile now, quitely in the background of my mind (you know, that part that reminds you, “Hey, you need to cut the grass… tomorrow” or “Hey, I should start going back to the gym… tomorrow”).

I think I may be in love with Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  Or at least as much in love with her as I was with Princess Leia back in the day (I resisted typing A long time ago…) or Mrs. Fields.  How else can I explain the feeling I get at any glimpse of her image or mention of her name as I scour the TripleDoubleU?

I’ll admit it – I was a fan of Elisabeth’s back in her “Survivor” days. 

If cloning worked - meet the cast of The View

If cloning worked - meet the cast of The View

But I believed the feelings were fleeting, as it was with Colleen Haskell before her.



All Colleen got after “Survivor” was a role in a shitty Rob Schneider movie, then poof!  Out of sight – out of mind.  (I miss you, please come back!)

That’s why I think it’s different with Elisabeth.  She was gone, but not for long.  Though I am not a regular viewer of, um, “The View,” I will also admit to the fact that if I were home when it was on, I probably would watch.  I consider it a guilty pleasure.  Or would embarrassing pleasure be more like it?

Anywho, the political climate we’re in is causing headaches behind the scenes of the show.  I mean, we’re talking major headaches, one’s that even HeadOn couldn’t fix.

According to an article from Defamer:

Joy also told Elisabeth: “You sit there and make a fool out of yourself out there everyday and it’s pathetic. There are people we can’t book on this show because of you! And then you put out stories about you going to Fox News?! Please, even they know better!”

 Message to Whoopi (and Barb, I guess): Please make this fighting stop!  If Elisabeth departs your show, who knows where she’ll end up…  How will I see her?  How will I not forget her?  I don’t watch Fox News.  She doesn’t show up to Seattle Seahawk games like Jessica Simpson does for the Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys.  (NOTE: Elisabeth got Hasselbeck from the Seahawk’s quarterback, ‘natch!)

Well, maybe she does show up to the games – but I DON’T WATCH THEM!



Thanks in advance,