InASense, Lost… Holy Crap! Or, These Toys Piss Me Off!

I’ll admit it.  I watch Cartoon Network.  That’s where I catch all the latest Clone Wars episodes (not for much longer, though).

It’s also where I catch-up on the latest and greatest toy offerings.  Of all the dumb things I’ve seen, I couldn’t believe that this (post from two years ago) has officially made its way here:

What’s next?

This toy from Britain?

Or this one from 1991?

(SIDENOTE: Wow.  That song is not catchy at all.)

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Awesome Battle… Which VHS Acid Trip Do You Prefer?

Who am I kidding?  These are both great.  So it’s an Awesome Battle that ends in total win!

(SIDENOTE: I miss you, Everything is Terrible… I promise not stay away so long ever again!)

THINGS TO WATCH FOR:

  • Rosemarie Lombardi when she was 36 and loving wind in her face.*
  • Rodney enjoying a time out to talk with the ladies.
  • Mike Douglas on a skateboard.
  • Elliott Gould on a swing.
  • Priscilla and John – two lovers that never found Plymouth Rock.
  • Beer enriched shampoo!
  • Leonard Nimoy with a human head (Vincent Van Gogh?) replica for some reason.
  • The late Ernest Borgnine loving stamps.
  • Sonny Bono and his Sonny Clone-o’s.
  • Bruce Jenner with his old face and an old Minolta camera.
  • A clown on the phone.
  • Hizzoner?
  • An interesting reveal by Della Reese.
*I don’t know who Rosemarie Lomobardi is either.

Awful Battle… These Commercials Can’t Be Real (Or Can They?)

This is really one of the weirdest groupings of commercials I’ve ever seen.

This first one doesn’t seem like a real ad on TV, but oh yes – it is:

Does this one feature Legos?  Legos?!  Who’s watching this?!

This one might (?) be (?) racist (?), but the scariest thing is the concept of a communal chocolate fondue…

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… The Man Of Action For President!

I didn’t have a blog back in 2005, and YouTube was just getting started, so pretend this post took place in that very same year, about a very special brand of hero…

I’m beginning to have my faith restored in humanity, and there’s a very simple reason why:

Buddy Lee will be a write-in for U.S. President in 2008!

In case you’re unaware of his credentials, I found a new website called Yourtoob that shows videos with plenty of proof why he would make a good president.  I’m sure that he could beat Dick Cheney or Hillary Clinton any day!

He stops at nothing to save the day, even if it’s just a cat:

He was a volunteer firefighter:

He was a valued police officer:

He inspired a haircut craze that was bigger than Jennifer Aniston’s The Rachel:

He even knows how to have a good time:

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… That Hits The Spock!

This series of posts imagine “what if I had a blog back then?”  I originally was not ever going to use YouTube videos if the post took place before the site’s inception, but– it’s my blog, so I can change my own rules.  You could presuppose that if there was a forum to blog within back in 1981, there would have been a version of YouTube… and I would have been six years old…

It reminds me of CBS' Special Presentation logo.

According to the dictionary, Magnavox translates to “great voice” in Latin.  I think it should translate into “great products.”  First, they invented home video game machines, with the Odyssey.  Then they came out with neato-peato 19-inch color TV’s.  Then they made the Odyssey 2!

I can’t wait for their newest product… the Laser Disc.  They look like shiny records, or something that Spock would have played Frisbee with on Star Trek.  That’s probably why they use Actor! Leonard Nimoy in the commercials.  Since he went off In Search Of new technologies, he probably never thought he’d be stopping at one place.  And that one place is MAGNAVOX!

If this is just a small sign of the wonders they can accomplish, they will be industry leaders for years – and decades – to come!

REFERENCES:

  • Odyssey Video Game System commercial
  • Odyssey 2 Video Game System commercial

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SCeTpWzpys&h=300&w=400]

  • 19″ TV commercials
  • Magnavision Laser Disc Player commercial
  • CBS Special Presentation shirt

This kind of reminds me of Magnavox's logo.

Drunken Recollection… Funny, I Don’t Recollect This Drunken Treat…

and that’s probably because it wasn’t a drunken treat.

But I was told this while I was drunk, and I believed my friend.  Moooostly because of the aforementioned boozing and unfamiliarity with the product.

Still, who thought marketing juice boxes to adults was a great idea?

Probably the same people who thought using Richard Lewis in the commercials was the bee’s knees.

(Or Richard Lewis’ hair stylist, amiright?)

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Sexy Beer Ads

Sexism in beer advertising just ain’t what it used to be.

Remember when beer ads had scantily clad women in barely there bikinis, rubbing icy cold bottles of the devil’s brew up and down their glistening– wait, there never were commercials like this?!

Take a look at the latest offering from Miller Lite and tell me if it’s sexy or not:

Well okay sure, the ladies are hot.  And there’s nothing wrong with beautiful girls in full-body blue bathing suits tackling a man in a convenience shop.  But I can’t help but wonder what these kind of commercials would be like if the censors weren’t watching.  I’m not talking XXX territory either, just a racier ad.

After all, isn’t this an ad campaign aimed at guys?  Guys that the MillerCoors Brewing Company want to drink their light beer? Or is that what this boils down to.  Perhaps a manlier beer deserves a manlier campaign:

I’d rather stay thirsty my friends, than gather Taste Points

…even though I prefer to drink Miller Lite over Dos Equis.
But that’s mostly because I’m cheap frugal!