Recognize Anybody In This Old Commercial?
Oh, you don’t? I thought she was… and he was… oh, never mind.
commercial
The Silver Lining… Let’s Laugh With Kmart Instead Of At Them
Is this commercial on TV? I haven’t seen it. But then again, I do time shift the ship out of my shows.
So could this mark a renaissance for Kmart? Probably not. But if we’re in store for a slew of new comedic ads, just maybe they’ll find more of us in store.
But probably not.
The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… I Choose “Death By Bus!”
I recently saw this commercial, and it gave me pause…
“Is this the new record scratch?” I wondered.
This meaning suddenly hit by bus.
So I started thinking about where this trend began, and I think I can link it back to The Hit that I think is The Shit.
THE SHIT
MEET JOE BLACK (1998)
Sure, it’s not a bus, but it was shocking – and eventually entertaining? Most of all, it was first.
THE PINCHLINE
MEAN GIRLS (2004)
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (2008)
GHOST TOWN (2008)
These accidents are used for comedic effect. What the fuck is wrong with us America? (See the Ghost Town clip in the montage below.)
THE PLOP DEVICE
STRANGER THAN FICTION (2006)
LOST (2007)
Dramatic tension is high, and these scenes drive the plot, so… why couldn’t the Will Ferrell hit been less real and more ha-ha?
THE FART NOISE (IT’S SO OBVIOUS)
FINAL DESTINATION (2000)
“Woh-woh…” *wet trombone fart noise*
THE TURD VERSION OF THE PLOP DEVICE
FELICITY (1999)
NIP/TUCK (2006)
These really aren’t that interesting, so check out the montage below.
JUST SHITTY
BUBBLE BOY (2001)
Hey look! Zack Galifianakis! Just don’t look at the rest of it.
PHANTOM POOPERS
CONTAGION (2011)
DEXTER (2012)
These are too new to be found anywhere, butt they’d probably fall under PLOP DEVICE since one had a contagious kid get smashed and the other had a serial killer get smashed. I’ll let you guess which one each belonged to.
MONTAGES (there has to be a pun in there somewhere…)
Got it! MOONTAGES!
Happy Find… He’s Surprising! He’s Disguising!
When I was a kid (and maybe still now), I prided myself on knowing the words to many, many toy commercials.
Somehow, this one escaped me.
No matter what, Charger-Tron, you will not escape me again!
(SIDENOTE: This is YouTube gold. Thank you to zorro3121 for sharing this with the world.)
JusWondering… Why Does This Commercial Make Me Talk To My TV?
Normally, television commercials are skipped by me with the simple press of a button. Especially when they are ads like this shitty local one (I didn’t even want to post it here, so you’ll have to click on those words).
But this commercial…
I don’t know what it is about it…
I can’t seem to skip past it.
And to top it off, I actually talk to my TV while it’s on! So strange…
(SIDENOTE: But not as strange as what’s in the lower right hand-corner of this screen.)
Punch Drunken Recollection… Honey Badger Don’t Care!
On my recent trip to New York to watch the Yankees get rained out before beating the Detroit Tigers the next day, we stopped in DuBois, Pennsylvania for the night. We were so over-tired and wired from the drive, we decided we needed to get some drinks to relax us enough to get some sleep.
Anybooze, we stopped at Eastside Sports Bar…
They were playing Reel Big Fish's "Beer" so it felt like a safe place to be... at least the beer was cheap.
…and purchased as many beers as we could on site, as well as plenty to go.
What does that have to do with anything? Well, it was on this night that I saw this video for the first time:
And now the badass honey badger has gone mainstream:
Oh, and for the record… a fight broke out within fifteen minutes of us being at that bar, and like the honey badger, I didn’t give a shit.
In My Brain While Awake… This Kid’s A Nightmare!
Yeah, this one has nothing to do with a dream (thankfully, you might be thinking). It’s just that the kid in this commercial is such a fucking spastic terror, I may have nightmares:
InASense, Lost… Ya Done Goofed Again!
I’ve already written about the poorly named Magic Bullet once before (or at least I insinuated about its terrible shared moniker), but with the company’s latest product, they botched the name game again:
Why would you put those two words anywhere near each other?
They could have called it the Baby Blender… no that doesn’t work.
How about the Regurgitator? (Now we’re getting close.)
Got it – the Home Baby Food Maker.
Hibbidy-Wah?! This Ad Played Before A Kid’s Movie?!
I didn’t see Harry Potter and the End of a Cash Cow Part II this weekend, but apparently in some theaters this ad was shown:
It’s a vast improvement over less fresh Summer’s Eve commercials:
It’s your move Massengill. Time to take this campaign…
…into the future:
InASense, Lost… Gutter, Meet My Mind For Some Ice Cream
Ice cream treats and traffic jams and cute girls shouldn’t automatically make me think of dirty things, but I’m afraid my poor subconscious is beyond tainted. It’s so tainted I can barely type the word tainted and not be derailed by horrible mental images. Dear sweet Rachel Bilson, this is not the first time your visage has been intertwined with potentially distasteful acts on this site, but I do hope it is the last… unless it’s actually about you being intertwined with potentially distasteful acts.
(SIDENOTE: If that commercial seemed foreign to you – foreign as in from over there – it’s probably because it likely is.)
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