Worth 1002 Words… More Bruce Than Bruce Can Handle Edition

Die Hard-On

Some altercolorofnights:

  • Mood Lighting
  • Pulp Friction
  • Heart’s War
  • Twelve Monkeyspanks
  • Arms A-Gettin’
  • Dupli-Sin City
  • Hudson Hawks

In Defense Of… Ashton Kutcher

This is only my third In Defense Of post, so I haven’t fully developed my method of argument.  But wait.  I don’t really have a method for anything on this site.  Moving on…

This time I want to come to Ashton Kutcher’s defense.  Is he in need of arguments for him?  Are you really asking that?

Dude, you're not helping.


  1. Punk’d. He introduced not only this show, but this word, into the lexicon.  Kiss “Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!” goodbye forever.
  2. He made shitty movies.  Where to begin.  Um, Just Married, My Boss’s Daughter, Guess Who, A Lot Like Love, The Guardian, What Happens in Vegas, Spread, Valentine’s Day, and Killers.
  3. He’s replacing Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men”.  It’s not so much that he’s replacing Charlie Sheen… it’s that he’s helping Two and a Half Men stay on the air!


  1. He was great as Kelso on “That 70’s Show”.  In character, he once deadpanned this line to Jackie (Mila Kunis), in regard to jellybeans: “I ate all the white ones ’cause I know you don’t like things that taste white!”  Classic.
  2. He made some enjoyable movies.  Love ’em or leave ’em, I really liked Dude, Where’s My Car! and the director’s cut of The Butterfly Effect.  Dude, he strangled himself with an umbilical cord in the womb!
  3. He’s produced some enjoyable TV.  I wish I would have watched more of Beauty and the Geek, I’m sad there weren’t more episodes of Miss Guided, and I hope there’s another season of True Beauty.
  4. He’s married to Demi Moore.  Sure, she doesn’t look like (click here) anymore, but still…
  5. This guy doesn’t seem to mind him, and that’s all right by me:

Or they like to smile when they fight. Either way.

So in closing, that’s five good reasons to defend him, over three reasons to hate on him.  As one of the original Two Men once said over and over and over again, “Winning!”

JusWondering… What Do Hackman, Rudd, The Gute, And The Mac Guy Have In Common?

In response to the post title’s inquiry:  they’re all… Actors!

Here’s a couple things I’ve been JusWondering about each.

1) Gene Hackman

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

Whatever happened to Gene “Hack Man” Hackman?  Why hasn’t he been acting lately?  The last film he appeared in was Welcome to Mooseport, and heaven forbid something happens to him, but does an actor of his caliber really want his swan song to be a co-starring vehicle with the guy that played a CGI mammoth?  Personally, I think he’s better than most of the Actors! of his generation… mostly because he was Lex Luthor and Popeye Doyle.  And of course, Royal Tenenbaum.

2) Paul Rudd/Steve Guttenberg

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

Paul Rudd reminds my mother of Steve Guttenberg, for some reason.  Though I would have to admit that if they when they remake Police AcademyRudd would make a great Mahoney

I also think he would make a great Krull, if that’s what the main character’s name was.  If Krull is the blue guy, the chick, or the kick-ass weapon, then no.  All I remember about Krull is that kick-ass weapon.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

3) Justin Long


He Longs for a major hit.

How about this guy and his scene stealing?  I don’t think he works as well as a lead (Accepted or Waiting…), or as well as an assistant lead (Live Free or Die Hard), but in bit parts… he shines.  Since I was initially amused by him in Galaxy Quest, he’s eaten the scenery (and his co-stars) in The Break Up, Idiocracy, Walk Hard, and Zack and Miri Make a PornoWill Ferrell started off the same way, in the background out loud, and now he slays in (most of) his films.  Maybe the same will happen Justin time so he won’t have to wait for too Long.