A Handful Of… Acceptable Songs About God

I used to be a fairly religious person, but I’ve grown up.  I could get into arguments over the matter, but this post was enough arguing for me.  Do your thang and I’ll do mine.  That being said, I still can enjoy a clever song about the man/woman/matrix upstairs, and here’s A Handful Of Acceptable Songs About God:

  • Dishwalla’s Counting Blue Cars

It’s a playful tune about looking at the world through the lens of youth.  It also makes God a woman three years before Kevin Smith did.

  • The Caulfields’ Devil’s Diary

The Devil’s just looking for some wholesome lovin’.  And you can’t have God without the Devil.

  • The Fray’s You Found Me

God as a cigarette-smoking bum?  Much better than Joan Osborne’s bus rider

  • XTC’s Dear God

I had a coworker way back in the day that got really mad about this song (or rather, that Sarah McLachlan covered it).  My response?  “You don’t see anybody writing letters to Santa saying he doesn’t exist.”  My coworker didn’t get it.

  • Usher’s OMG


(SIDENOTE: Did you know he says “Oh” seventeen times in a row?!)

JusWondering… Am I A Sinner? Kirk Cameron Must Think So

Not sure why this has sparked my sudden interest, but the bad-seed-with-a-heart-of-Tracey-gold, Mike Seaver, we all grew up with (well maybe not all) has evolved into the Evangelical Kirk Cameron.  This shouldn’t be news to anyone, but if you don’t believe me, click here.
While propagandizing teaching his beliefs, he’s made a few films that help convey his message.  His latest is a film called Fireproof.  The explanation, via IMDb:
Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter’s adage: Never leave your partner behind. Inside burning buildings, it’s his natural instinct. In the cooling embers of his marriage, it’s another story.

After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb’s dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.

While hoping The Love Dare has nothing to do with his parents’ newfound faith, Caleb commits to the challenge. But can he attempt to love his wife while avoiding God’s love for him? Will he be able to demonstrate love over and over again to a person that’s no longer receptive to his love? Or is this just another marriage destined to go up in smoke?

All in all, it may not be your cup of tea when you’re a fan of a cup of T&A, but this video gathering the highlights of the film is… cringe worthy at best.  My favortite part is how instead of beating his wife, he destroys his computer.  I mean, who uses CRT monitors still anyway?  I guess it wouldn’t be as “dramatic” to smash a flat-panel monitor or toss a laptop.

This whole affair really got me wondering – am I a sinner for the things I watch on the internet?

Is it a sin to sing about masturbating in the future?

Is it a sin to watch people pretend to masterbathe masturbate?

Is it a sin to watch a Japanese alien wake up with morning wood?

Is it a sin to laugh at a Russian getting attacked by a dildo copter?

Is it a sin to research how the fairer sex can join in the fun of peeing while standing up (and writing their name in the snow)?

Well if I am… fuck it.  As the G.O.A.T., Billy Joel, once said:

I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The Sinners are much more fun…