A Handful Of… Former Soap Stars You Didn’t Know You Liked

I would guess that except for two people I know that read this blog, no one that reads this blog watches soap operas.  (While in all actuality, no one I know reads this blog…)

Anyboohoo, there are probably some Actors! you like that you didn’t realize were on soap operas earlier in their careers.  And these appearances weren’t just cameos or extras work… legit characters were given life by these fan favorites.  Let’s begin with one that you may know about:

  • Sarah Michelle Gellar – Kendall Hart, All My Children (1993-95)

She played Buffy. She played Daphne. Who can't she play?

WHY YOU LIKE HER: On one hand, the background in the above photo should be a clue.  On another hand, this.

  • Tom Berenger – Tim Seigel, One Life to Live (1975-76)

City Mouse and, um, Country Mouse

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: Come on… he was a bad ass.  Not only was he in both Major League films, he was in Platoon, the first The Substitute, and three Sniper films.  Grant it – I’ve only seen the baseball comedies.  Did you know there were three Sniper films?!

  • Richard Dean Anderson – Dr. Jeff Webber, General Hospital (1976-81)

All he needs is a paper clip, a gum wrapper... and a mullet.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: It should be a mantra – MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, MacGyver, Stargate SG-1…  You get it.

  • Alec Baldwin – Billy Aldrich, The Doctors (1980-82) / Joshua Rush, Knots Landing (1984-86)

Everybody used to look like this eventually.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: This is my controversial entry.  Not just because you may have never heard of The Doctors soap opera (there’s a stupid talk show starring a Bachelor reject with the same name) nor because Knots Landing was a nighttime soap, but because some people don’t like him!  This blows my mind, just like the fact he was on TV waaaay before Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock.  (P.S. Check out Malice if you’ve never seen it.)

  • Christopher Walken – Mike Bauer, Guiding Light (1954-56)

So many choices... I chose this.

WHY YOU LIKE HIM: I was going to close with Rick Springfield until I made this discovery.  I mean, Jesse’s Girl is the never-dying, one-hit wonder I’ve always wished joked that wished I could write, but how many movies would have never made it to production if Walden didn’t get involved?  Blast From the Past, The Stepford Wives, Joe Dirt, Excess Baggage, Balls of Fury, Envy, Country Bears… I should have went with Springfield.

(more here)

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In My Brain While Sleeping… A Dreamy Episode Of 30 Rock

This dream unfolded as an episode of 30 Rock.  I shall try to capture it for you.

INT. WRITER’S ROOM – DAY AFTER SHOW

lizlemon

 

 

Last night’s skit about President Obama was a success.  All the trades are talking about it.

toofer

 

 

They’re not speaking positively about it Liz.  You said he was a member of the Illuminati.

lizlemon

 

 

We were poking fun at the fact that every president is in the Illuminati.  We don’t want to appear left-winged all the time.  Besides, the Illuminati doesn’t even exist.  I don’t even know what they’re all about.

tracyjordan

 

 

(running into room, disguised not necessarily as a ninja)Did you hear?  An eight year-old blogger was assassinated uptown because he said he didn’t like the president’s new dog.

lizlemon

 

 

That’s ridiculous, Tracey.  Obama would never do that… would… he…

INT. JACK’S OFFICE

Tracey and Liz visit Jack to discuss the possibility of danger.

jack-donaghy

 

 

The both of you don’t really believe the conspiracy theory that the Illuminati exists, do you?  Let alone the possibility that our latest president could be a part of that organization?  And that he would be willing to assassinate bloggers?

tracyjordan

 

 

Eight year-old bloggers.

 

jack-donaghy

 

 

Tell you what.  To appease you both and to provide a sense of safety, why don’t we get that makeup artist in here…

lizlemon

 

 

The one that turned Tracey into Robery Downey, Jr?

 

jack-donaghy

 

 

Yes, that one.  He–

 

Jack’s office window suddenly shatters and Tracey and Liz flee, screaming.  Jack picks up a found golf ball.

jack-donaghy

 

 

Moonves, isn’t it a bit early for building tee off?

 

INT. TOOFER’S APARTMENT

lizlemon

 

 

Wow, Toofer… this is a really nice place for the salary we’re paying you.

toofer

 

 

It didn’t come equipped with windows.  That’s how I can afford it on my salary.  And your welcome, for letting you stay here.

tracyjordan

 

 

(eating food out of Toofer’s fridge) Thank you.

 

INT. JACK’S OFFICE

Liz and Tracey try various hiding places while Jack talks to them.

jack-donaghy

 

 

A week has passed, and no serious threats have been made against your lives.  Can you finally admit that there is no Illuminati?

Liz and Tracey finally stand up and face him.

lizlemon

 

 

Yes.  Yes, we can.

 

black-phone

 

 

(Anonymous voice from speaker phone) That’s sufficient.

 

robert-downey-jr

 

 

You know Jack, Liz and I have learned a lot from this experience.  Like not to jump to conclusions when eight year-old bloggers get assassinated.  And how to make pumpkin pies.  Toofer is a great chef and teacher.

THE END

It’s On! It’s So On! (Or Not…)

Last night on “Saturday Night Live,” the inevitable happended…

Mark Wahlberg showed up to face off against Andy Samberg!  (Oh, and Governor Palin was on there to make fun of Tina Fey, as well, but I digress.)

I’ll let the video speak for itself.  (View the Palin/Fey battle here.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.