Oh, you don’t? I thought she was… and he was… oh, never mind.
It’s weird that throughout my life there were so many shows I was at one point all about, then one day suddenly, I was none about.
Let’s examine this collection of programs that I
enjoyed watched weekly until I didn’t:
THE FAMILY SHOWS
I watched all seven seasons of both Family Ties (when Andy was long in the tooth and Nick was out-moron-ing Mallory) and Growing Pains (Leo DiCaprio as a homeless kid ring any bells?), and I’m pretty sure I stuck through all eight seasons of Full House for some reason (when it really was a full house after Uncle Jesse and Becky had twins).
These… I didn’t:
- The Cosby Show (’84-’92)
- Who’s the Boss? (’84-’92)
- Roseanne (’88-’97)
- Home Improvement (’91-’99)
- Boy Meets World (’93-’00)
- That 70’s Show (’98-’06)
- Malcolm in the Middle (’00-’06)
What’s odd is that most of these shows made it to eight seasons, just like The Office has this year. If I didn’t haven’t my Parks and Recreation and Community, I might have given up on what’s hopefully The Office’s last season. So why did I stop watching those shows? Outgrowing them is the likely culprit, but it could be cast and concept changes.
THE OFFBEAT SITCOMS
These are the shows I simply stopped because I wasn’t feelin’ it any more (or main characters were killed in real life – RIP Phil Hartman):
- My Name is Earl (changed story focus)
- Grounded for Life (changed format)
- Titus (got dark)
- Newsradio (see above)
- Just Shoot Me (got boring? I don’t remember…)
- Reno 911! (the movie turned me off)
- Scrubs (season 9 sucked)
THE OBVIOUS QUITS I SHOULD HAVE QUIT MUCH EARLIER
- Mad About You
- The Drew Carey Show
- Dharma and Greg
And of course, there’s…
THE KING OF SHOWS I STOPPED WATCHING
- The Simpsons
Out of context, I have no idea what these two Actors! have in common. In context – I still don’t. That mostly has to deal with the fact that I was tipsy, but the mostly is barely a mostly, because I also never watched either of the shows these Actors! starred in.
CELEBRITY #1 – Jan-Michael Vincent
CELEBRITY #2 – Philip Michael Thomas
The only explanation that comes to mind is:
- They both were in 80’s TV shows
- They both peaked with said 80’s TV shows
- They both have the same middle name (kinda)
- Their names consist of three first names
- They both were thrown a bone by PMT’s former co-star, Don Johnson:
As Dana Carvey’s Church Lady would always say:
Some others in the Three First-Namers Club:
- Billy Ray Cyrus and Jonathan Taylor Thomas
In other words… nostalgia is pointless. I mean, if you’re going to build a robot, why make it a little girl? Unless it’s a weapon, I guess.
Sorry, I know the provocative title sounded like this post was going to be about something decidedly Japanese, but you’re as wrong as an underage female robot from Japan would could be.
In all actuality, it’s about the 1985 show called Small Wonder, and it’s forgotten awfulness. I’ll let this video do the talking:
Let’s see how my fond memories of Manimal and Automan have held up:
Well, it’s like what Owens Lee Pomeroy always used to say (or at least said once)…
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!
This has been something creeping in the back of my mind for awhile now. I mean, if you have a voice like he does, you have to use it in the genre it works best (makes you shitloads of money earns you a living). But ever since his appearance in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F’n Ben Affleck,” the case study has been building.
EXHIBIT A – “I’m F’n Ben Affleck”
This is a TripleDoubleU phenom and a played out meme, but as a refresher, check out the 7:40 mark:
EXHIBIT B – “2008 Emmy TV Theme Song Medley”
By no means or stretch of the imagination is any of this good. But the fact that he willingly participated in it speaks volumes (to me at least). I’d like to think he knew those theme songs by heart before this idea was ever a twinkle sty in anyone’s eye:
XZIBIT C – “You Don’t Know Me” by Ben Folds and Regina Spektor
Directed by the awesome Tim and Eric (of “Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job!“), Josh Groban makes a guest appearance twice in Ben Folds‘ video, while for some reason, Regina Spektor does not. Check him out at the 2:46 and 3:07 marks:
In closing, you’ll have to judge whether Josh Groban is cool or not, but based on the above samples, I think he is cool.
If you want to judge my judging, I used to think this was cool:
My sister, Becky, recently started a blog about things she learns everyday called SomethingKnew. Since I’m usually forgetting things, I thought I’d pay tribute to her site by recounting something new that I learned.
Today, I discovered the origin of a nickname I received when working overnight at Target. I didn’t even know there was a basis for the moniker. Whereas most of the other overnighters bounced around departments in the store, my only job was to take care of Plastics – the unpacking and organizing of all large Rubbermaid and Sterilite containers. I always had a bunch of cardboard by morning, and the trash compactor runner guy, Greg, used to call me Baby Plas. He called my friend, John, the Gordon Fisherman for some unknown reason, and my friend, Rodney, simply Dangerfield out of necessity, I guess.
And I didn’t think much about it. I thought it was just an odd yet obvious choice. (For example: if I was dubbed, say, the Trix Rabbit, I would have wondered where it came from, much like I did with John the Gordon Fisherman.) Somewhere inside me, I resigned to the fact that it teetered on the Dangerfield zone of unoriginality.
Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon this facet of pop culture that escaped me:
Baby Plas was a reference to “The Plastic Man Comedy/Adventure Show.” Baby Plas was Plastic Man’s baby. I worked with plastics. I was more the Gordon Fisherman than John would ever be. I was more Dangerfield in every sense of the word.
And I missed basking in the nickname.
Today must be 80’s day, and for that I’m extremely thankful. The word through the pipelines that is the TripleDoubleU is Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, and Tom Selleck are in talks to reunite and finally complete the “Three Men and a…” Trilogy.
According to Guttenberg:
It’s called “Three Men and A Bride.” The script is pretty much written and we are really keen to get that made. We’re very hopeful. (via IMDb)
They’re very hopeful?! I’m fucking-on-the-edge-of-my-seat hopeful. I’m I’ll-go-without-shitting-until-this-thing-is-released hopeful. I’m on pins and needles that have herpes and syphilis and AIDS on them serious. I’ve been literally dying to know what’s been going on in Michael, Jack, and Peter’s life since the last movie. Um, didn’t someone get married to somebody in that one? Wasn’t there some sheep in the road gag that held the wedding up? And where did that ghost from the first one go? Was he friendly or evil, or simply lonely? Will the two non-dads hit on the third pal’s daughter who will no doubt be hot and legal?
I’ve been waiting for a star to fall, and since pretty much all three of the leads’ stars have dropped*, I’m all for this belated sequel. With the bar set low by “Indiana Jones 4,” this flick should be a masterpiece. (And there’s rumors about another “Police Academy.” Aieeeeee!)
*Becker did all right by himself and with some help from Larry David, but sadly and wrongly, Magnum has not fared as well. The Gute did do a stint on “Dancing with the Stars,” but he also runs naked through Central Park.
- I learned all about Molotov Cocktails from him (courtesy of his TV show, “BJ and the Bear”).
He introduced the world to Staci Keanan, and my dreams to Staci Keanan (courtesy of his show, “My Two Dads”). Whatever happened to Staci beyond “Step By Step?” And why did Paul Reiser get another show?
- He brought us the film “DeepStar Six,” which jumpstarted the career of Famke Janssen. No wait. She was in “Deep Rising.” And, oh yeah. How could I forget she was Xenia Onatopp in “GoldenEye?” Moving on…
- He taught me about two-way mirrors, and how to beat them. It was some episode of “BJ and the Bear” where people were spying on strippers or something. Because the reflection started at the contact point, as opposed to starting centimeters apart, that was proof it was a two-way mirror. You could see through the mirror if you had another piece of your own. I don’t know if any of this is true, but I’ve kept it locked away for future use because you never know.
- Briana. Evigan. (“Step Up 2″… “Step By Step”… weird…)
- Then there’s always “BJ and the Bear,” of course.