Probably because I’m hungry right now, I’ve got food items to put on my Christmas wish list.
First up, there’s a product out there called Crispycones, and I’m already moving Hot Pockets around to make room in my freezer.
And while I’m waiting, can somebody please make me one of these? Funfetti, of course.
(click pics for respective websites)
I scream, "Pizza!"
He screams, "I'm done!"
I should have included this song on my list of memorable movie music, but it is not remembered by many other than me.
Walt Disney released Condorman in theaters in 1981, and I don’t think I saw until it arrived on VHS a few years later. It was back when Disney released movies on those white clamshell cases that had stickers… not slip sheets like the later stuff did.
The later stuff
Apparently, the DVD was released by Anchor Bay 10 years ago, and since then has gone out of print. Used editions go for $40, while new ones go for $85-150!
So I guess my wish would more accurately be – PLEASE RE-RELEASE CONDORMAN ON DVD! Last year, when all I wanted for Christmas was that Parker Lewis Can’t Lose to get released on DVD, I never thought it would come true so soon!
If Condorman is unlikely, then I have a second option… Yor: The Hunter from the Future. That hasn’t been released on DVD in the U.S. at all, so how about a little love?
It’s that time of year again, when the bugging reaches an apex – What do you want for Christmas? What do you want for Christmas?!
All right! I’ll tell you.
For starters, I’d like either one of these t-shirts. I only want one, because I don’t think I could pull off that level of irony more than once per laundry load. (Click on each self-explained pic for the link to the site.)
"Mommy, is there a Chippendale's in heaven?" "I hope so, sweetie. I hope so."
"There are too many babies in the corner! Can anyone else help?"
This one took me awhile to figure out, but it doesn’t make the Coinkydink or Coinkdonk any less powerful (and they’re not very powerful to begin with)…
With Actor! Jared Leto out there fulfilling his Jordan Catalano duties as the lead singer in his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, I suddenly realized that his band name was a hybrid of two other Actors!‘s band names that came before:
30 Odd Foot of Dogstar
So… weird, huh? Slightly. I mean, Kevin Costner, Julitte Lewis, and Jada Pinkett Smith’s band names (Modern West, The Licks, and Wicked Wisdom disrespectively) don’t bear any similarity to the others or each other.
So I posed a question to my co-workers and friends… besides each being in a band, what do these three Actors! have in common?
(answer after the jump) Read More
When my alarm started going off, this website reverberated in my head:
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
Just like those HeadOn commercials, I thought about it all day.
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
There was only one in particular that I remembered. On this dreamed up website (the URL was still available last time I checked), they turned the infamous, allegedly dirty, C-3PO trading card into a light switch.
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
FunnyLightSwitch.com
I don’t know what else could have been on such a blog, as this was the best material I could find…
Yellow Snow
Some alternutsroastingonanopenfire:
(via Holy Taco)
Now don’t get your britches in bunches thinking that this post’s title is about nominating suggestions for AVP (Alien Vs. Predator) type battles (although I’d watch E.T. fight a cougar like Dee Wallace in a cat suit… yowza!)… or that’s there’s some kind of curse associated with either of those cursed movies (or the inevitable third film).
No, this post more or less is about the incident I didn’t hear enough about…
The Sarah Palin Book Signing Tomato Toss.
The Truth - The Myth - The Fantasy
It happened last week at the Mall of America, and it made barely a blimp on the radar (get it – it’s a blimp because it’s bigger than a blip… aaaand it’s full of air). I would take this as a sign that Sarah’s news-worthiness is Palin‘ (ha!), or that it was really no big deal. But on the contrary, it’s a continuing trend amongst former Vice Presidential nominees. To go back to where (I think) it started, let’s look at the losers of the last quarter century, and see how their luck fared after returning to the trenches…
Where do I think it all begin? On a date that lives in infamy funny, June 15, 1992…
Dan Quayle spells “potato” as “P-O-T-A-T-O-E”
Pictured: Ross Perot's Vice Presidential nominee, Admiral James Bond Stockdale, napping after yelling at the kids that threw popcorn on him.
(BONUS: A post on Gawker that looks at the history of food tossing.)
How many affairs has Tiger Woods had? Eleven, twelve, fifteen? (Personally, I hope it hits and stops at eighteen ho’s… just like a golf course.)
The question alone sounds almost like it should be a nursery rhyme in the vein of How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How about:
If Tiger Woods would use his wood would he put his woody in a birdie?
If not, they could always make a movie…
Tagline: "Why sink a hole-in-one, when you can sink a hole-in-all?"
(SIDENOTE: I’m not defending him, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all this nonsense started after his father passed away. I can’t recall hearing one source mentioning this. His father oversaw his entire life – maybe this was his 20’s rebellion just way too late.)
(original poster after the jump) Read More
How this song is a hit is beyond me.
When I first heard Miley Cyrus’ Party in the U.S.A. amidst her infamous stripper pole ice cream cart incident at the Teen Choice Awards (the TripleDoubleU was all a-Twitter), it did not make an impression in the least. In fact, had the song not gotten so much radio play, I would not have backtracked to find out that it was this song she writhed to.
Fast-forward to today. Damn, does that song get stuck in your head. It’s a classic earworm cocktail: lift a few themes from other songs, drop in a couple famous names, mention “partying” in a patriotic manner, and sprinkle with auto-tuning. Voila! A hit!
Before getting into the full monty with this song, I’d like to present a testimony to the ditty’s power over lyrics. Here in Detroit, we have an excellent alternative (Canadian) rock station called 89x. Everyday at 7pm, they have two songs battle it out for The People’s Choice. The current and reigning winner:
"The Fold" is from Chicago... "the bends" is from surfacing too fast.
Wanna hear their song?
That’s a tasty synth track.
So onto the lyrics…
I hopped off the plane at L.A.X.
With a dream and my cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame excess,
Am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous
My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I’m nervous,
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio
And a Jay Z song was on
Remind you of anyone else?
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought ‘Now forget it’ – ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’
It’s not exactly the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but it’s certainly reminiscent. Oh. And about that Jay Z song? Miley’s never heard any song by HOVA, because she did not write the song. Jessica “Jessie” Cornish did, and BONUS! She’s British (and can sing circles around Miley, btw).
Back to the chorus:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflies fly away
I’m noddin’ my head like yeah
I’m movin’ my hips like yeah
Mya, do you have anything you’d like to say… oh, I don’t know… how about, your love is like… wo? The remainder is a repetition of the first part, just with different words.
I guess the biggest problem I have with the song is the cloying patriotism. When Bruce Springsteen sang about how he was Born in the U.S.A., I believed him. Okay, it’s probably not fair to compare the Boss‘ song about disenfranchised American soldiers to Hannah Montana’s tune about not wearing stilettos because she “never got the memo.” But his heart was in his throat when he sang that song. Dollar signs were in Billy Ray’s eyes when she sang hers.
(SIDENOTE: Try on Kesha’s Tick Tock – I’m sorry – Ke$ha’s Tik Tok as an alternative to Party in the U.S.A. Most of the same earworm ingredients are there:
Voila! A hit!)
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 
